Friday Fives – a day late and a Daryl short

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If you had to choose being blind or deaf, what would you choose and why?

Man, I have never pondered that.  Were I deaf, there would be no more music.  But, I could still totally function.  Were I blind… no more boobies… and getting anything done would be disabling.  I am going to choose going deaf.  I think it would be the easiest adjustment.  As for missing music, it is always in my head.  Plus, I play acoustic.  I can feel that music when I hold the guitar.  That would have to be my substitute.

What is the best smell?

Vanilla everything

Would you rather be hot or cold?

Let’s say I am nekkid.  I would choose hot for sure.  BUT… for the weather outside… I might choose cold.  Why?  If it is cold, there is a lot you can do about it.  Gloves and hats and blankets and fleeces and jackets and ton ton corpses.  At hot, once you take off all your clothes… it is still hot.

But then… would I rather heat to death or cold to death?  Heat, I guess.  I am tough for heat.  I am #Phoenixstrong.  For the first 20 years of my life, I lived in 115 heat half the year.  Of course, that is why I don’t live there anymore.

I guess that is a more complex question that it appears on the surface.  Well done, boss!

What’s the worst feeling in the world?

Regret.  And probably bee stings on your balls.  I assume, anyway.

Would you rather have something hurt or something be itchy?

What an odd question.  Something itchy is usually easy to remedy.  We will have to assume the intent of the question is that both are not able to be solved.  I guess I would choose pain.  What kind of horrible question is this?  Is this one of those new trends Buzzfeed has tricked us in to?  The whole “would you rather” watch your mom get punched or drowned?  I am not going to answer that, you sick fuck.  That woman is a SAINT!  Plus… we know that witches float.

Tee hee hee.  Come on, that was funny.  My mom is my favorite person in the whole world.  Just talked to her a few days ago. Most importantly, she doesn’t read this site.  They don’t have internet in jail.    Man, I am on fire.  Of course my mom isn’t in jail.  Unless she is visiting one of my half wit brothers.

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