What is something every day, yet on reflection you realize you really appreciate?
Where I live. Every day I look out my windows and realize how amazing this is. Every day when I arrive home, I come home to this. Its all I ever dreamed of an 100 times more.
What is the greatest invention ever?
Gotta go with the wheel. Or were you thinking of something more recent? I must once again praise the bench scraper. I just use it for everything. I think it is for baking or making dough, technically. I don’t use it for that.
also, a pair of decent spring loaded tongs is invaluable. If that doesn’t dazzle you, then you didn’t grow up with these. These were the entirety of kitchen tong choices for the first few thousands years of evolution. Go ahead, try and pick something up with these.
It would be like watching a millennial try and use a rotary phone. I do not put that link there to mock anyone. No sir, I am just super jealous they got to skip this dark period of humanity.
What activity in P.E were you surprised that you were good at?
Football. I used to run when I was younger, doing meets and track and all that. My dad was a marathon runner. It gave me an unexpected edge at playing football. Mostly speed. Being short and fast is widely useful in playing football. I can move around those 300 pound moose men and they don’t even see me coming. I was physically too small to play football for our high school team. However, every day at lunch we played tackle football on the field. All for fun. No teachers or coaches of any of that. Man, I really love football. And I really hate the NFL. I am torn.
I LOVED PE, though. I was athletic, and it was fun and satisfying. My opponent will tell you I was busy playing ‘smear the queer’. That is because my opponent fucks baby pigs. Vote Lono for Senate. “He’s Never Helped Anybody”®
What is so traumatic and disturbing that it ruined your month or year?
I am lucky and fortunate I have not had any severe trauma or misfortune in recent years…. Or hardly ever. So, my complaints are first world problems, I suppose. A couple things that have really, really upset me was Chris Cornell’s suicide, and Trump being elected president. I still can’t listen to Cornell singing, or any Soundgarden. I believe it was truly a terrible accident, and nothing he thought through. As for Trump, it just tells me America is still intolerant and racist and super phobic.
What is something you will only buy name brand?
Cellophane… Saran Wrap. Don’t go generic on that, ever. Spend the extra buck or whatever it is. Come to think of it, I think most stuff in the kitchen you don’t want to skimp on. pots and pans and knives and cutting boards and bowls… buy some good shit. It will last forever. When you are pinning a 200 pound elite athlete to a goalpost for fun (which I highly recommend)… don’t be cheap.