I figure it will be in two parts. The first part will be just like ‘Defending your Life’. This is where we look over critical decisions I made, and did I do the right thing? Did I pick up that napkin on the sidewalk and throw it out? Did I pull over and help that motorist? Did I give him to charity?
I am pretty confident I will pass these tests. Also, my god is not a neurotic one needing constant validation. He won’t care if I accept him as my lord and savior… or even if I went to church (I don’t… to both). He will simply want to know whether I was a good person who left things, and people, better than I found them.
Then, he will ask “did you keep your phone clean?”
No, the inside. The computer part. Did I clear my cache and cookies? Often? Did I use that ‘Clean Master’ thing at least daily? Did I powercycle my phone at least once a day? Did I actually go into ‘settings’ and applications and clear the cache monthly? Did I keep my virus thingy up to date? Did I close apps I wasn’t using, to save RAM and battery? Did I NEVER dare to let it die from an empty battery?
Yes, god. I did.
God: I know. Why?