Allow me to explain. The internet is great. It has done wonders for everyone, and everything. We use it every day. But I am not talking about what internet has done for culture, or business, or revolutions. I am talking about your personal, non work, related uses of the internet. I won’t count games, because you could play games before the internet. I am talking about how you use it. Mostly, email and porn, right? Those sure are great. No one can argue that.
So how is going to the dentist better… or even on par?
Because of Novocaine, that is why! It was invented by Alfred Einhorn in 1905. You owe him a big fucking hug right now! I was at the dentist yesterday, just getting drilled on. They drilled holes in my goddamn teeth. I saw the teeth before the fixed ‘em up, it was grizzly. Know what? I didn’t feel a thing. What 100 years ago could have killed me, was instead a minor 30 minute diversion in my day. Oh, but the needle for the Novocaine! That is the worst!
Guess what it was before the teeny tiny needle? Well, for the last few hundred years it was plyers. Before that? A ROCK. Ever been smashed in the face with a rock? Sure, now it is just known as a dinner date with Suge Knight… but up until about 1905, it was ‘modern dentistry’. Going to the dentist is the definition of a ‘first world ‘problem’. I want you to think about this next time you are at the dentist. Go ahead and tell them you don’t like needles, and you will do this without the Novocaine. Maybe they will pull out their Civil War dentistry kit.
In fact, I have a dentist I took forward to. Don’t worry, I am not a sick bastard. I fear and delay every dentist appt just like you. HATE it. However, when I think about compared to ‘dentistry’ around the civil war… I remember it is pretty great. Anyhow, this dentist is stunning. I am sorry to be a pig, and I won’t give you her info, but she is a beautiful Colombian dental surgeon. In her office, she has TVs mounted in the ceiling. Then, she gives you the remote and wireless headphones. The good kind, over the ear. While you get worked on, you are just laying back and watching TV.
Yeah, email is great. Texting is better. I don’t want to talk to you in person, what is this, 1988? But, I’d rather talk to you on the old fashioned telephone than get a rock in the face. Come to think of it, were I to get a rock in the face, I prolly couldn’t talk to you anyway. Hmmn. Something to consider.