Friday Fives – I make it all better for you

Image result for sad mandala

If you were President of the United States, what would be your top 3 things that you would like to change?

Well, I’d make poor people register.  With whom? Why? EXACTLY my point. Those are typical poor people type questions.  Maybe if you worked a little harder at life, you wouldn’t have to wear the star of L.

If you had to survive off of one specific type of food, what would it be and why?

Pizza… for me, mac and cheese for you.  And not that fancy hipster mac and cheese that is all the rage.  Not even Kraft. I am talking about school lunch 3rd grade school lunch type mac and cheese.  It’s mostly yellow, so it will go with your star of P. Oops, yeah you just got another incentive to stop being so poor.  I am reminded of the prophet Cartman when he said ‘Kenny, if you don’t stop being poor, I am going to throw rocks at you!’

If you could go back in time to fix one thing, what would it be?

Make the Beatles consolidate the White Album into one good record/CD.  Same with Guns & Roses on ‘Use your Illusion’. WAIT! I know what you are thinking.  I could have gone back and saved Hiter, sure. I could have gone back and protected Oswald, and warned the Feds about Jack Ruby.  I could have gone back and told Timothy McVeigh not to speed away from the OKC building. Yeah… I could have gone back and told Charlie to kill those bitches from the Tate/LaBianca murders so they wouldn’t have bragged about it in prison.

In retrospect, I could have been here on that cold New Jersey morning when the Hindenburg crashed, and gotten WAY better footage.

But life isn’t about ragrets, it is about the things we can do, not the things we didn’t do!

What community is your favorite and why?

Arson.  We are tight group, for sure.  It’s not about that pervy shit like “ooh, I like watch it all burn.  No sir, I am talking about creating jobs, and opportunity. I am talking about giving (poor) people a lesson in non-attachment.  And since you love firemen, so much. This is about job security for So many needy firemen.

When did you realize you were finally an adult and how did it make you feel?

Ok, this is a true story and a bit embarrassing.  We had a party with a bunch of friends over. Daytime thing, so lots of cooking.  We also have this really pretty cutting board.  So great, in fact, it hangs as an art piece in the kitchen.  ‘Kim’ was wanting to cut a bunch of veggies. She grabbed the pretty cutting board.  I had to stop her and say “Oh, please don’t use that one. Use one of the plain ones under the sink.”

What kind of shit is that?  If 16 year old me heard that, he would punch me in dick.

 

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