Friday Fives > grammarly edition

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 What is one handy spelling tip you were taught that you still use today?

Use spellcheck on whatever device you have!  They say English is the toughest language to learn to master because of all the super obscure rules.  Being a polyglot, I agree. I have a degree in literature. Don’t you think that would make me a spelling wiz?  No sir, not according to spellcheck. Though, I’d say most of my errors come from typing to fast. I am a stunning no look typer, and a hero to many in that regard.

What’s that one thing in the grammar world you’ve never learned to do?

Figure out the difference between its and it’s.  It works against the rules on so many levels. When to use one or the other.  We know that an apostrophe s indicated possession. It it Scott’s sweater. However, we also know that apostrophe s indicates a contraction.   It’s Scott sweater. It is Scott’s sweater. Ok, I am confused already. Let’s move on.

You have a gun held to your head and you have to spell a word correctly to save your life, what is one common word that would get you killed?

I’ll give you two.  Bureaucracy, and yacht.  If you don’t get red squiggly marks when you type those, I just don’t trust you.  Both those have a strong position on phonetics. That position is > phonetics can go phuck itself!  Tee hee hee.

WAIT WAIT WAIT… let’s just roll back and look at that question again.  If I had a gun to my head… and the next scenario is a grammar one?  This is what you fantasize about?  This question alone is proof I am not the author of these questions.  This guy is, my writing mentor.

I’d like  forward this to your therapist, but I am afraid her ahead would explode.  Instead, I’ll just send it to your high school guidance counselor.  You need help, bubba!  There is only one acceptable way to joke about gun violence, and this is it right here.

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Which English grammar rule that has helped you the most in your life?

I guess the old ‘i before e except after c’.  I am pretty good with most things grammar, though.  Stop tittering over there, I see you. I am good!  I can tell you my philosophy, though.  You can’t get grammar or words from a class.  Read as much as you can, and write as much as you can.

 Do you recall a grammar rule you were taught in school is not in fact a grammar rule?

Steven, if you are going to wet yourself again… just go ahead and use the bathroom.  Thank you. And please have your parents sign this for me.  Again.




I’d like to apologize for how boring that was.  What’s more boring than grammar?  Discussing grammar.  and YOU… you are reading about grammar.  Sweet Jesus, man.. get out of the house once and a while!  Tell you what – I owe you a new piece.  Not a lazy ass Friday fives, but some real genius content.  I have had it in my head for years, tonight I will lay it down.  It’s about legal precedent.



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