Friday Fives – please meet Pritchard Mandala Metal Wall Decor, 36 Inches, Yoga Sign: Home ...

Where is the most beautiful nature in your area?

Tough to say, this is Colorado after all.  I guess I’d say Rocky Mountain National Park.  I was just there a couple weeks ago for the first time in at least 20 years.  Holy shit, I was blown away.  Truly, if you just dropped me there out of context, I would swear we were in Switzerland.  It was 14ers as far as the eye could see.

Perhaps I should note I have never been to Switzerland… yet.  So what do I know?

 Does your household grow some of its own food?

Kinda.  I bought a basil plant at the store last week.  But, it was single use.  Poor little fella.  He doesn’t look good. Still a plant, and still in a pot… but just stalks.   Every leave cut off and sacrificed for a dope ass caprese.

I like the idea, but it hardly feels worth the effort.  Our growing season in Colorado is very short.  Just a few months, which means any food plants have to be started months ahead inside.  Also, our soil is mostly clay.  We did have a problem with our dogs and other animals getting in and ruining the garden, but I since ran the electric horse fencing over to the garden.  Anyone who crosses that threshold gets enough electricity to stun and scare a 1500 pound horse.   Ask Rufus.  He got shocked once, years ago, and doesn’t go anywhere near it now.  Mission accomplished.

sidebar – my whole inside backyard for the dogs is electrified this way.  it is a 4 foot fence, which is nothing for a full size hunting dog to jump.  People may say that is cruel.  Out where I live, the other option is they get out of the yard and get run over in the street, which happened to Buddy.  He was the greatest dog I never had.  A title now held by Chumly.  So… the dog gets a mild shock once (trust me, it only takes once) or he gets run over.  In fact, I was so impressed with Rufus’ ability to clear the fence that I filmed it.  Gave it sound effects, and put it in slow mo.

We have had semi successful gardens before, though.  Last year, we had spaghetti squash MURDER our pepper plants.  Yeah, they put a hit out.  We had the squash in the garden, and they take a LOT of room (because they breed like rabbits)… so we put the peppers in big pots just outside of the garden.   Well, what a squash does is send out a little vine thing.  Sends out a TON, to find a place to grab hold.  We gave the plants stakes and cages and all kinds of things to grab on to.  Towards Fall, though, the plant ran out of willing takers (think closing time at a bar in college.  You are no longer looking for miss right, but miss right now.)

Tendrils - The Daily Garden

now imagine this metal stake was the stalk of my glorious and tragic jalapeno plant.

So, one of these tendrils reached OUT of the garden and past the fence into the yard.  It found the stock of a beautiful and once healthy jalapeno plant.  Once the little tendrils find purchase, they wrap around the thing for stability.  In time (over maybe a week-ish) that squash tendril starting growing its own squash… which to be fair is its job.   That strangled off the pepper plant and pulled it over.

It wouldn’t be a big deal if I didn’t already have about 12 big ass squash and zero harvested jalapenos!  Squash (pumpkins, zucchini) are mad prolific.  They self replicate and self seed.  What that means is if you plant two squash plants, by fall you will have about 10 different stand alone squash plants.  Like zucchini?  You better!  By fall you will have about 40.  And another thing about zucchini, it is almost never ‘done’.  You have to cut and remove them when they are a reasonable size… no bigger than a tube of cookie dough.  If you leave them alone, or more realistically don’t notice them growing under all the foliage the plant produced, they continue to grow.  They will be as long and thick as your bicep.  And yes, I just used cookie dough as a measurement reference.  Obviously I am a guy who eats a lot more cookie dough than zucchini.

Do you recycle or repurpose a lot, a little, or somewhere in between?

Yes, we absolutely recycle.  Sadly, out where I live, no one recycles.  I am surrounded by Republicans, so of course they think that the environment is a scam we made up to be dicks.  Note, they also believe that about pollution, and the Corona virus.  Go ahead, ask any Republican and they will tell you all those things are bullshit.

They really think us Dems are so super organized that we have put together end times just to impose upon them.  Note… all the things they are against require some level of effort, inconvenience, or sacrifice.   At heart, they are just being selfish and lazy.  Prove me wrong!

as for repurposing,*** we are not good at that.  That is by FAR the best way to do it.  To me, true recycling means nothing leaves your house.  Got a ton of aluminum cans?  Um… make a… um… make this!

soda can sculpture - Google Search | Tin can art, Aluminum can ...

**** udpate – apparently Microsoft hates the world and ecology.  Spell check just told me that repurposing is not a word.  Well, not with that attitude it isn’t!

My wonderful friend and neighbor Linda said it best.  She said recycling starts at the store with what you buy.  And to be mindful that you are also buying the packaging.

Sadly, the reality of this quickly turns into hoarding for most of us.  We have to be especially careful of that as we have 5 acres.  So, it is really easy to accidentally start hoarding.  Just look at my neighbors?  Pritchard, you are really going to restore that RV?  Really?  The one that is currently upside down.  Fuck you, Pritchard.  Get rid of that shit, bro.

 What do you think the most endangered part of the Earth is?


What is the single best way for an individual to help the environment?

Die.  Next to that.  Recycle.  VOTE.  Breed liberals, or even libertarians.  Just breed and raise nice people who believe in science.  Also, going to reference Alton Brown here (apparently I have some licensing deal where I have to mention him weekly).  He said more important than eating organic, is to eat local.  And seasonal.

People in the rest of the world have tiny refrigerators (if they have any at all).  They marvel at why ours are so big.  So, the rest of the world just buys enough groceries for the week.  Fresh meat and produce that will be used quickly.  They don’t buy shit to store it for 5 years, Pritchard!

I must come clean I do not practice what I preach.  My fridge is stupid huge.  Bigger than yours, anyway, Pritchard!  And what kind of asshole name is Pritchard, anyway?  It is the kind of name you give someone with 4 boats in their front yard.



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