Friday Fives – of ghosts edition

Leatherman Big Letter PST Personal Survival Tool

If you think your house is haunted, what should you do?

I have been in this situation.  Note, it could have been nothing, but it absolutely felt paranormal to us.  It was a mischievous ghost… think ‘Casper’.  We talked to and acknowledged the ghost.  Didn’t run it out by any means, but instead asked if we could co-exists.  No problems after that.  Here is my thoughts on ghosts.  I don’t believe in them, and I don’t not believe in them.  I am confident I have had some experiences that were paranormal.  Then, I am reminded of this Einstein quote or formula or whatever.  He said ‘Energy can be neither created nor destroyed’.  Wrap your head about that, it some heavy shit.  Now that you know that, do you know how electrical we are?  the stuff going on in the brain is neurons and synapses firing all over the place.  Wasn’t that the premise of ‘the Matrix’?  We were just batteries?  There is truth to that.  This is why lightning likes to strike people.  So, we are walking balls of energy (if you have done meditation, you have seen this manifest more tangibly).  Well… I have.  But that could have been all the acid.

ANYWAY… my point being.  We are energy and energy fields.  Einstein explains energy can be neither created nor destroyed.  So, when we die, at least briefly… we are still this ball of energy looking for a home.  This is how you get Rick Moranis in your basement.  Again.

When should you investigate a strange noise in your basement?

Are you alone?  How about never?  Send the dog down there.  You don’t have a dog?  Well, then you are going to die prolly down there.

How do you know if an abandoned building is safe to visit?

Go during the day.  Abandoned (or still being built) buildings are awesome!  Once you have established it as safe during the day… return at night.  Now you have your own little campsite.

How do you decide whether to solve a problem as a team, or split up and go it alone?

I think we can be more effective if we split into strengths.  This is about containment, and fast.  Get your team to every corner of that house to seal it up before dark.   If you wait and its dark, you will die.  That is what horror movies have taught us!  The upside, though?  Right before you get that cleaver to the face, you tend to see a great pair of 18 year old breasts.   She will be killed, too… so at least enjoy the boobs while you can.

Where do you store your knives and where would you look if one was missing?

The knives go into the knife block thingy.  I am not worried about them.  Knives are wildly ineffective as killing tools.  Plus, you have to be too close.  You need distance, and a gun!  It is virtually impossible to kill, or be killed, with a knife.  Ask Artie Lange.  Knives are so ineffective (unless you are well trained, and I certainly am not) that I keep a knife on me at all times, with my leatherman.  If I needed to defend myself, I would not use that crappy little 3” blade.  Odds are I would cut myself up, more.  No, I would use it as a ‘brass knuckle’.  This means I am holding the knife in my hand and making a first over it.  Now, I use that fist to hit the bad guy hard as I can.

Yes, I really to think about these things… and I am happy to report I have never needed to. Between being a boy scout as a kid, and 23 years in the Red Cross doing disaster services volunteering… I am big on preparedness.  And this is my philosophy – you can never have enough lights, and knives. In any car, or anywhere around the property, I am never more than a few feet from a knife and a flashlight of some kind (especially nice that cell phones do that now).

Should you carry a knife?  Yes, but no.  If you are going to carry something like that, get a Leatherman (multitool).  These magnificent machines are 10 to 12 tools in something not much bigger than a cigarette lighter.  By the way, many many companies make variations on the ‘Leatherman’.  They are called ‘Multitools’.  But you should buy the original Leatherman.  Here is why – they are made in America.  Plus, I want the guy who invented it to get the credit, and the money.   Even better?  Leatherman is the dude’s name!!!  Clearly, he was destined to invent the multi tool being born ‘Tim Leatherman’.  Sounds like a Lee Major’s character name.


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