What would you be doing right now if you were a billionaire?
Maybe this. I am quite happy where and when I am. I guess I wouldn’t be working, but I would be up and reading and typing and watching the snow fall. Ok, total disclosure? I’d prolly still be sleeping. I am a night person. It sucks, but it is who I am.
If you could smoke weed with one person, dead or alive, who would it be?
I know no one on earth believes me, but I don’t smoke weed. Not for moral or legal or health reasons… only because it totally freaks me out and makes me paranoid. Anyway, you want me to say Willie Nelson or Snoop, right? No, and here is why. Those guys are always stoned. So, you aren’t going to get any insight from them. If there is anyone in the last 100 years I’d like to crack into their brain – it would be Nelson Mandela. I think he is one of the most important people ever, certainly in my lifetime. They say that Jesus died for your sins? Well, Nelson Mandela lived for them. Plus, I am guessing he didn’t smoke a lot of weed. I bet we could get real deep, and real giggly, together.
What was the first thing you learned to cook (not that childhood thing like eggs/breakfast or that after-school pizza thing, but a grown-up made it from the scratch dish?
Chicken and vegetables over noodles. Spicy and yummy, and different every time. As an adult, it is expected you can cook… and I can. At like 18, though? People were impressed. It also looked like I could cook anything. Not really, mostly just that. Now… I got it. Give me a meat – any meat – a starch, some veggies, and some spice and I will make something dope.
What’s your favorite palindrome?
Boob. It’s a perfect word, it’s a perfect thing. If you are religious, its proof there is a god. And, perhaps most importantly… you can spell it out on calculator.
What is a low-effort dish that still wows people at a potluck?
Whatever my wifey makes. This may or may not make sense, but I do the cooking nightly. Every night I cook dinner from scratch, and I love it. We have a plan about 50% of the time. Wifey is a good cook, too, though. She just doesn’t love it like I do. But she loves cooking for special events. So, whenever we are bringing something over to the neighbors, she will always make it. its less work for me, which is nice. BUT… lets admit I am a teeny tiny resentful. I cook 99% of the meals, and anyone around us must assume wifey does all the cooking. Ok, one more thing I am a teeny resentful for. She makes the best and yummiest dishes for these events… but not for us. Oh, you made a lasagna for Billy’s party? Now nice. How about making one for us? No? um. Ok. ☹
How about that for some first world problems, eh! I should not complain. Her best, and signature dish is Paella. A proper Paella is a TON of work. It even requires a very specific pan. Long ago, we went to Barcelona and around Spain. Paella was everywhere. Every restaurant had it, and it was always cheap and delicious. I think it was cheap because they made it in metric tons. It’s a pretty expensive dish to make – shrimp, clams, good sausage, special rice, special pan… but its super worth it. It take Saffron. Saffron is the most expensive thing on Earth. More valuable and cost than diamonds or gold. See this? That weighs less than a piece of notebook paper. That is probably $100 worth of Saffron.
*** here is how perfect Paella is – you know I top EVERY ‘Friday Fives’ with a mandala. Its an homage to CG Jung. Well, a proper Paella is laid like a mandala. A proper mandala is also a Buddhist thing that is made of sand by monks. And the second its done, it is destroyed. A paella is like that, in that once its done and beautiful… it gets eaten.