Typing class – who’s the dummy now?


When I was in… like… 7th grade, I took typing.  We got one class to do in a semester that was an elective.  I took typing.  Why?  Because it was easy, and the class was entirely full of girls.  This would be like 1985.  Typing was primitive, the whole class only got manual typewriters.  We had only one electric.  So, one day a month each student got to use the electric.  Fast forward to high school, and I took another typing class… and again for the exact same reasons.   All girls, except Tom Hanks.   He even has an app for you phone that can mimic class typewriter styles.

The class was seen by all, my included, as a time waster… especially for a male.  Here is why.  Back then, the only folks who typed were secretaries, and those of course were almost always women.  This is obviously long before computers and such.  Fast forward to today, and everyone reading this (all 6 of you) type every single day, probably all day long.  We all sit at a typewriter.  By the time college came around, we had computers to do papers on.  I certainly did not have a personal computer back then, but some did.  Most all of us went to the computer lab to type and print papers.  Well, by then, I was a typing master.  The women wanted to be with me, and then men wanted to be me.   Ok, not true at all.

I type hard.  Really hard.  You can hear from another room when I am typing.  When I QA calls, if I am listening to an agent who sat within ten feet of me, I could hear myself typing on the recording.  My excuse for that is because I learned type on a manual typewriter.  Those were work.  You had to really hit those keys hard, especially with 10 year old fingers.


With that little throw away tale, I will share this with you.  Did you know the modern day alphabet keyboard layout we know as ‘qwerty’ was designed to be as insanely inefficient as possible?  The letters in front of you were genuinely designed to slow you down as much as they could.  Why?  Typewriters jammed, a LOT.  By that I mean, when you strike a letter, that little level with the typeface has a bit to travel.  If you typed too fast, the next key (or key before it) that you typed would often run into the other one on its way home.  Since then, many great minds have worked to create a grouping that is far more practical.  As you can imagine, it never took hold.  Reason being… we all memorized this layout.

Now if that little anecdote of history doesn’t get you laid at the next party you are at, well… it didn’t me, either.

Now get back to work!   Man, that was some good fucking content.  I can’t believe I don’t charge you guys for this stuff.  It’s gold, Jerry.  

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