Friday Fives – hill of beans edition

Vanilla Bean Plant

What is your favorite smell

Vanilla.  And… anything baking.  Everything coming from the oven smells magical.  I wonder if that is because I never bake.  Ever.  I use the over to heat, or to cook a frozen pizza, but I do not bake.  Too much science and specifics.  And waiting.  I cook almost every single night at home, its my happy place.  Yet, I don’t find the smell of cooking anything enticing.  Certainly not like a loaf of bread would smell.

 What is your catchphrase?

On it like a bonnet.  I invented this, and I would like it to catch on.

What is the movie/TV show that you totally love but nobody else around you seems to know/like it?

Chips.  Like all of us, I am guilty of romanticizing childhood tv.  Due to the wonderfulness of technology, I am able to go back and watch the shows that influenced me so strongly.  Shows like Chips, A Team, Greatest American Hero, the Fall Guy.  Guess what… turns out those shows sucked!  With the exception of Chips, all of my beloved childhood shows are unwatchable dreck.  All of the acting is over done, super over done.  The exposition is patronizing.  They leave nothing to intuition, or subtext.  Everything you need to know about that character’s backstory is handed to you on a plate.

Howie: Colt, watch out behind you!

Colt:  Howie, I am working through some abandonment issues from my dad leaving us early on.  Its left me to question my own role in masculinity, and now I see it plays a part in my inability to sustain meaningful relationships with women.  I have been clearly repressing unconscious anger at my mother for my father leaving.  That dormant bullshit has led me to unconsciously sink any meaningful love on purpose… to leave them before I know they will leave me.  I’m not worthy of love, Howie.  I’m just repeating the failed patriarchal tropes generation after generation.

The music is always bad.  Its bad, though, for two reasons.  The first is because it was just the way to ratchet up tension for the viewer.  Note all those shows above were action shows, so there a lot of horn sections playing high pitched minory chords to let us know we are in peril.  Yeah, the bad guy has a gun on them… I didn’t need the alto sax to clue my amygdala in that a guy with a gun is bad.  Mark Burnett very cleverly (and VERY heavily) uses the same effect.

The other reason the music sucks is music licensing issues.  Odds are the music you are hearing when you watch this now isn’t the music that came with the show.  Originally, the tv show didn’t have to pay much for music.  There was no streaming or commercial distribution.  Only consideration was down the line serializing and distributing a show.  Everyone is greedy now and has renegotiated. 

So much punching!  There was so very much punching in the face.  I think I’ve seen someone properly punched in the face maybe 2 or 3 times in person.   According to TV, its more common than a handshake.  The scripts aren’t great… but with a bit of nuanced acting and character development there might be hope.  Was there a punching bonus in every actor’s contract?

There is an upside of 80s shows… there was no CGI.  Yes, ‘special effects’ were terrible.  But, if you see a car roll ten times and then blow up?  They did that.  That shit happened.

Chips, though… it holds up.  Though it suffers from all those cliches and complaints above (especially the horn section) but the stories are really good.  The acting is decent.  Maybe it holds up because that show was story line driven.  The others on my beloved list are not storyline based.  They are more based on explosions, punching, and a couple charismatic actors. 

What were we talking about?

 What is a hobby you’ve picked up recently and why did you start it?

Handmaking pasta.  Wifey got me a book on making pasta, and some equipment.  It’s awesome and fun and cheap and delicious.   It is easy, I can do it now without even having to measure everything to the gram.  300 grams of basic flour (no bread flour, it has yeast), 3 eggs, 3 tablespoons of water, and a fat tablespoon of olive oil.  Here is a pic I took hanging my noodles.  This is one batch, which is exactly that recipe above.  It makes noodles for 3 or 4.  The fresh noodles are SO much better.  They are more buttery, more… gummy.  They hold sauce better (never rinse your pasta).  And they cook quicker, in a few minutes.


It’s fun.  Its like a silly putty factory.  You put the putty in the thingy, turn the crank, and then out comes beautiful noodles.

But the best part, to be transparent… it amazes the shit out of people.  People watch me do this, and then have some amazing spaghetti,  and its like I spent 5 years training in France.  Since I LOVE to cook, it means I love to feed you.  And sure,  I love to be recognized for it.  So, it’s a win win.

My passions are guitar, and cooking.  I am quite good at both.  Well, better than you.  I don’t say that to brag, or to get you

I got into both to impress girls.  It worked!  Also, both keep me happy and alive.

 What is something wonderful that happened to you today?

It’s Friday!  I am pretty please about that development. Nothing remarkable happened today, and nothing changed – which I am terribly happy about. I love my life. I love where I live, I love my wife, I love my home, i love my neighbors, i love my truck, i love that I work from home. None of this is ever lost on me I am thankful and gracious.  and I have to pee now.  Have a great weekend, we’ll talk soon.


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