Living Underwater for 100 days

Professor living underwater for 100 days says it's 'a neat place to be' |  CBC Radio

There is a processor in Florida who is going to live underwater for 100 days.  Bad ass!  Let’s get our science on.  Ok, lots of questions.  How do you eat underwater?  How do you poo underwater?  How do you masturbate underwater?  What about peeing?  Ok, he could eat through a feeding tube, I guess?  But, if you are putting food in your mouth, then you aren’t breathing.  Maybe a liquid diet, like protein shakes?   Sure.  It’s in a pouch with a straw.  He pulls away the breathing thingy and swaps over to the protein slurry.  Not great, but doable.

** note – odds are that much smarter people than me have figured these things out.  But it’s fun to guess and problem solve.  Use the ol’ noggin.  As a result, I am heroically not googling it.  Ok, on to peeing.  We have all peed in the ocean.  Masturbating is really not a practical solution.  Since no guy has ever gone that long without taking advantage of himself… he’ll just have to have sex.  That can be done in the ocean.  I’ve done it.  It’s wasn’t great, but it’s doable.  Crapping?   Oh boy, it isn’t going to be easy pleasant.  Especially when you recall dude has been eating nothing but protein slurries.  I mean, I guess you could just pull your suit down and take a dump.  Every other animal on earth has done it.  I don’t think I have tried that.  This guy, though… is going to have the runs… to put it lightly.  And it’s just gonna bubble up around him.Eating a Full Meal Underwater ! - YouTube

Gross.  But…er… butt… this is for science.  What about sleeping?  How do you sleep under water?  If it were a day or two, maybe you could do sedation… but not for 100 days.  Maybe  you anchor yourself down and strap your oxygen on.  Eventually, you’ll fall asleep.  It won’t be great sleep, but nature will find a way to make it work.

What do you do all day, though?  I am sure there is lots of sciencing going on, but you have to unwind somehow.  Do they have cable down there? I guess that is my biggest concern, ocean bottom boredom.  It’s a whole thing.  I know it is, because I just named it.  Pretty sure there is about to be a commercial and medication for that soon.  The one with all the side effects.

So I went back to the story to see what the eggheads came up with for these problems.   AND… to obviously offer my assistance with the sciencey stuff.  I am a project of public schools in Arizona!  The only state funded worse for schools is Mississippi.  Guess what I found out?  NONE OF THIS IS HAPPENING.  What lies beneath: our love affair with living underwater | Architecture |  The Guardian

Dude is not living underwater at all.  He is living in a pod underwater.  So, he will have air, and light, and a toilet, and prolly a fridge.  I am not even a tiny bit impressed.  Neither is Mark Kelly, who lived for a year in space.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s