Where is the best local pizza?
Well, I am in the southern suburbs of Denver, CO. not sure if Bon Appetit or Esquire has made it out to Parker, CO yet. But, we have a terrific place that is delicious and (most importantly) locally owned. Tonti’ pizza is the bomb. And Chris (the owner, pizza maker, toilet washer, and all around wonderful guy) is there to greet you.
Is there any food better than pizza?
Maybe ice cream. Both are pretty much heaven. Ok, since YOU asked, and unprompted by me… want to share my story of really local pizza. In Italy. Can I tell you I was rather disappointed by pizza in Italy? Not surprisingly, proper Italian pizza has almost nothing to do with our pizza. There, its bread. First and foremost it is bread. Then, they put in a little bit of olive oil, and a couple small lumps of cheese. Note, it is quite good what they make… just don’t expect anything like what we know (lots of sauce, lots of cheese).
Stop freaking out about what an American I am, and how I have no _______. All true, by the way, I don’t. What they serve is great! Its just more like a bread treat than greasy indulgence. Btw, ‘Greasy Indulgence’ is my stripper name.
Little food word etymology here. ‘pizza’ just means bread. What does pizza sound like? Pita. and a pita is Greek… which is a 2 hour boat ride away. As you may imagine, pita and pizza are the same word. Think how different they are, the foods. and how you see why the bread above looks so fucking sexy. Can tell that is some wood fired stove action. Once you realize the word pizza means ‘bread’ in Italy… you get a better feel for what they are making.
What is the best topping on pizza?
I can’t say the ‘best’, as this is all very subjective. Here is what I ask for. Trigger warning: it involves pineapple. My perfect pizza is pepperoni, pineapple, and green bell pepper. That is often half the pizza. The wifey likes olives and mushrooms… which is disgusting. Btw, Italian food – in Italy – is amazing. For one thing, its cheap. Why? The average dwelling is very small, cerainly in Rome. So, folks tend not to have kitchens. this means they have to basically eat out every meal. Something else fun about eating in Italy… no matter where we went, we never saw salt, pepper, or any condiments on the table. It was the same for local places as it was for clearly tourist places. It was as if to say “fuck off. don’t change it. it doesn’t need salt or pepper or anything. Just eat it!”
and they were right every time. Over a week of having to eat out pretty much every meal, I never once wanted for salt or ketchup or whatever. Best part of Italy? They love coffee more than me. They love coffee more than James Hoffman. A day after I was back, I upgraded my coffee maker to an espresso maker. I still have both, and use both every day. Man, I could talk about Italy all day. Thing is, no one has asked me. and I was only there for a week.
What would be the worst pizza topping?
Olives. I don’t see the value. Like… I don’t like mushrooms… but I can see the value they add. It would not kill me to take a bit with a mushroom on it.
Whatever became of Pizxzagate?
You mean the actual theory Code Monkey (who is Q anon) put forth that super rich Democrats – led by Hillary Clinton – were hosting child sex parties in the basements of local pizza joints? Believe it or not, turns out that is bullshit. Sadly, some fucktard went into a place and shot it up, looking for the basement. There was no basement. People still believe this shit, too. I recommend the HBO Max doc ‘Q, into the storm’. It is where they out Ron Watkins, aka Code Monkey, aka Q – of being Q. Actually, he kinda outs himself. This is the man who is directly all the racist fucktards in the US. Here you go, racists – here is your god. This is Q. Er… Q Anon.
in the end of the doc, it is pretty clearly, and cleanly, laid out that Watkins is Q. I was suspicious from the beginning. Not for the obvious reasons… like that the whole doc is pretty much about him and his aesthetic freakshow of a father***. No, I was suspicious because to me it was very clear early how careful and measured with his words he was. I could tell he thought he was light years so much smarter than us (and he prolly is) that he was playing with us. See a cat catch a real mouse? They don’t kill them right off, at least not my cat. They play with them as they kill them in a very serial killery way. Ok, let me say this. Dude above, let’s call him by his own preferred nomenclature – ‘Code Monkey’… I don’t think he really believes that Earth is run by billionaire devil worshiping Democrats who fuck little babies. That is, btw, very seriously what Q followers believe. AND… that Donald Trump is the only one who can save them. Code Monkey/Q is clearly way too intelligent to actually believe that. I kinda wonder if he is just playing everyone on the right like a game of Sims.
I could say a lot more about this doc, and how awesome and compelling it was. I like this guy, Ron. Seems smart and fascinating and hyper aware of things. Why he wants to point people to the right baffles me. More concerning? Why people on the right are all “I don’t trust Anything, or Anyone. everyone is a liar. Except… this one random dude on twitter who speaks cryptically about once a month. Pretty sure he is the real deal.” Again, I won’t say more out of fear of his minions. BUT… can I at least make fun of his dad for a little bit? Maybe this is all of us, and we show ourselves to the world. This guy shows both.
This is the guy we meet at the beginning
Jim Watkins. He, too, thinks he is playing us with his answers, but he is nowhere near as clever or deceitful as his son. Some might say this guy was the original Q, and then it was taken over by his son. I would be one of those some. What happened to this guy? He kinda went off the rails… at least aesthetically.
wait, there is more. First, check out the half effort at a cartoon villain mustache. Don’t worry, this isn’t the weirdest – No sir, this is the weirdest. He spikes his eyebrows in the manner of the cartoon villain.
it’s a shame, you can’t tell from these stills, but he oiled up his eyebrows to point up and away. You can see the product in them… in the documentary. Lastly, if you are a believer in all of this Q stuff, you are saying right now “that is just what they want you to believe. It’s a false flag. No, because they already tried that… pointing to Steve Bannon as the secret architect. Ok, not going to say anymore before my identity gets erased.