Friday Fives, Guadi edition

What food is delicious but a pain to eat

Drurian.  It has fouled an entire country.

What’s the easiest meal you know how to cook?

Mac and cheese, or do you mean from scratch?  From scratch… the easiest… spaghetti in meat sauce (jar of marinara).  BUT… we make a seriously sick gourmet mac and cheese.   involves Gouda, and more butter than a Paula Deen fridge audit.

What is the most difficult meal you have prepared?

Done right?  Paella.  Almost impossible to execute, seriously.  That is why the wifey makes it.  It’s a dish we fell in love in with Barcelona.  Like Sangria, you just don’t go there and no consume TONS of both.  That is what is on the menu.  It is delicious, and cheap.  Go to Barcelona (or maybe anywhere in Spain, what the hell do I know) and eat LOTS of Paella and drink LOTS of Sangria.   Life is good.  Then, go see everything Guadi.  * that building up there.  That is a Guadi building.  it isn’t photoshopped, or filtered.  There are his buildings, and they are almost 100 years old.  It is fucking phenomenal, especially if you appreciate art and drugs.  Look, here is another one.



think that is something?  Oh, just wait.  He also started building the only large scale cathedral STILL in construction a 100 years after he started it (and 80 years after he died).  They are STILL building this.   It will rock your fucking skull off if you see it in person.  And… you can.  it’s open, you can go inside and take tours.  it is called the ‘sagrada familia’.  if you don’t believe me, google it yourself.  What you have with Antonin Gaudi is what would have happened if Salvador Dali was an architect


this is not a subtle building.  it is THEE defining thing in ALL of Barcelona.  Not to discreet.  Here is a picture of the Barcelona skyline from 50 miles away.  The church is pretty much all you can see.  See all those cranes?  They are still building it.  It’s hollow inside.


What food or drink can you almost not comprehend other people actually like?

Mountain dew, corn chips like Fritos.  GROSS.  Adam Carolla calls Mt Dew ‘Nectar of the ‘tards’.  I can not disagree with with policy.

What is the “white chocolate is not real chocolate” of other foods?

Well, the vanilla you are using isn’t vanilla.  Vanilla only grows one place on earth, Madagascar.  What we are likely getting, even that precious bottle smuggled from Mexico, is Vanilla flavoring and a lot of alcohol.  Just like kissing your sister.


Friday Fives – pets and relocation edition

If you could move anywhere in the world and be guaranteed a job, etc, where would you go?

Italy. Not Rome, mind you, but a little seaside village. A close second would Barcelona. Third place? Right here in Colorado.  That pic up there is the ‘Sagrada Familia’.  It is a church being built in Spain.  Look closely at the crazy architecture.  It’s like a combination of a cartoon and a hallucination.  They have been building it for about 100 years, and they expect it may be another 100 years.  Wanna work there?  You can.  It doesn’t pay, but if you show up they will teach you a trade because they (the family carrying on Gaudi’s work) needs all the help they can get.  That is the kind of society I want to live in.  Even though I am super atheist, I will gladly give my days and nights to see such a marvel come to life.

If you had a time machine, and could witness any one event without altering or disturbing it, what would you want to see?

Easy, the Kennedy assassination. Not necessarily to stop it, or even solve it. But, I have a LOT of questions that have never been answered sufficiently by the Warren Report. In fact, I wouldn’t mind a loop – Groundhog day style – of being there 30 minutes before it happens. I wanna do that 5 times. I could just be a ghost and not interfere. I wanna be behind that car, then I wanna be on the grassy knoll, then I wanna be in that room wit Oswald.

Which do you prefer: cats or dogs? Why?

Both I love very much. Obviously, a dog’s love and loyalty are extraordinary. I am still trying to be the person my dog thinks I am. However, there is something to be said for the independence of a cat.

I just envy their life. They serve no master but themselves. They live in the moment, and still seem to have a sense of wonder about life that the rest of us (dogs included) lose over time.

How many animals do you have?

Gosh, a lot. 2 horses, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and some fish.  I wish I could have more.  However, it is already just about impossible to leave town on vacation.

Does this dress make me look fat?

God no, you look great! Wait, what the hell are you talking about?  We were talking about traveling, and love of animals… and then this?  You are a mess!

Friday Fives – mapping and destinations

1.  What is the most beautiful place on the map that you have even been. 

Barcelona, Spain.  We went for our honeymoon, and it was amazing.  the architecture was amazing.  Before that trip, I didn’t notice, or care about buildings.  Boy, Europe sure changes that.  They have trees older than our country.  As to my architecture point (geesh, that is a bitch to type out), just do a google image search on their most famous architect – Guadi.  Here, I have done it for you.
2.  What about all the senseless ugly: What is the ugliest place on the map you have ever been. 
Dallas, TX.  Just an ugly city, ugly skyline, ugly art.  It’s the whole package.  I imagine there are possibly some amazing and transcendant suburbs.  The shit I saw, though, was just armpitty.
3.  In our GPS/Google Maps world, when was the last time you consulted a physical map. 
a map.  hmmm.  I have a bunch, but I use google for everything.  Last time would have been camping.  I have a topo map of the state.  So, I can see everything around me.  They are AWESOME.  I can see what my elevation is, where the nearest fishing spot is, there the nearest four wheeling route is… all kinds of super cool stuff.
Here is the trick to finding four wheeling.  Look for old forest service roads.  they are labeled ‘fr877’.  These are roads, obviously, that were used for logging and such a long time ago.  So, they are a big overgrown, but free of trees and boulders and cliffs and will always connect to somewhere else.  Assuming you have a truck, it’s also a great way to find camping spots.
4.  Columbus – hero or villain? 
the truth, as always, is much more complicated than that.  It seems he was largely inept.  I certainly don’t see him as a hero.  He was a few continents off, and seemed to only bring pain and misery to his crew and those around him through generally poor judgement.
With that being said, though, I have to ask myself this; were it not for him, would I not be here typing this?  Probably not.  So, I shouldn’t be so harsh.  I don’t blame him for genocide, though… or what happened to the native Americans.  That is just humanity being humanity, sadly.
5.  With Satellite mapping and the all of the world now know, is there much interest in geography anymore?
absolutely.  In fact, I think all the more now.  I can do a google street view of a neighborhood in Germany if I wanted.  That is pretty terrific, and awesome for education on the whole.