Friday Fives, Guadi edition

What food is delicious but a pain to eat

Drurian.  It has fouled an entire country.

What’s the easiest meal you know how to cook?

Mac and cheese, or do you mean from scratch?  From scratch… the easiest… spaghetti in meat sauce (jar of marinara).  BUT… we make a seriously sick gourmet mac and cheese.   involves Gouda, and more butter than a Paula Deen fridge audit.

What is the most difficult meal you have prepared?

Done right?  Paella.  Almost impossible to execute, seriously.  That is why the wifey makes it.  It’s a dish we fell in love in with Barcelona.  Like Sangria, you just don’t go there and no consume TONS of both.  That is what is on the menu.  It is delicious, and cheap.  Go to Barcelona (or maybe anywhere in Spain, what the hell do I know) and eat LOTS of Paella and drink LOTS of Sangria.   Life is good.  Then, go see everything Guadi.  * that building up there.  That is a Guadi building.  it isn’t photoshopped, or filtered.  There are his buildings, and they are almost 100 years old.  It is fucking phenomenal, especially if you appreciate art and drugs.  Look, here is another one.

 

 

think that is something?  Oh, just wait.  He also started building the only large scale cathedral STILL in construction a 100 years after he started it (and 80 years after he died).  They are STILL building this.   It will rock your fucking skull off if you see it in person.  And… you can.  it’s open, you can go inside and take tours.  it is called the ‘sagrada familia’.  if you don’t believe me, google it yourself.  What you have with Antonin Gaudi is what would have happened if Salvador Dali was an architect

 

this is not a subtle building.  it is THEE defining thing in ALL of Barcelona.  Not to discreet.  Here is a picture of the Barcelona skyline from 50 miles away.  The church is pretty much all you can see.  See all those cranes?  They are still building it.  It’s hollow inside.

 

What food or drink can you almost not comprehend other people actually like?

Mountain dew, corn chips like Fritos.  GROSS.  Adam Carolla calls Mt Dew ‘Nectar of the ‘tards’.  I can not disagree with with policy.

What is the “white chocolate is not real chocolate” of other foods?

Well, the vanilla you are using isn’t vanilla.  Vanilla only grows one place on earth, Madagascar.  What we are likely getting, even that precious bottle smuggled from Mexico, is Vanilla flavoring and a lot of alcohol.  Just like kissing your sister.

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Friday Fives – pets and relocation edition

If you could move anywhere in the world and be guaranteed a job, etc, where would you go?

Italy. Not Rome, mind you, but a little seaside village. A close second would Barcelona. Third place? Right here in Colorado.  That pic up there is the ‘Sagrada Familia’.  It is a church being built in Spain.  Look closely at the crazy architecture.  It’s like a combination of a cartoon and a hallucination.  They have been building it for about 100 years, and they expect it may be another 100 years.  Wanna work there?  You can.  It doesn’t pay, but if you show up they will teach you a trade because they (the family carrying on Gaudi’s work) needs all the help they can get.  That is the kind of society I want to live in.  Even though I am super atheist, I will gladly give my days and nights to see such a marvel come to life.

If you had a time machine, and could witness any one event without altering or disturbing it, what would you want to see?

Easy, the Kennedy assassination. Not necessarily to stop it, or even solve it. But, I have a LOT of questions that have never been answered sufficiently by the Warren Report. In fact, I wouldn’t mind a loop – Groundhog day style – of being there 30 minutes before it happens. I wanna do that 5 times. I could just be a ghost and not interfere. I wanna be behind that car, then I wanna be on the grassy knoll, then I wanna be in that room wit Oswald.

Which do you prefer: cats or dogs? Why?

Both I love very much. Obviously, a dog’s love and loyalty are extraordinary. I am still trying to be the person my dog thinks I am. However, there is something to be said for the independence of a cat.

I just envy their life. They serve no master but themselves. They live in the moment, and still seem to have a sense of wonder about life that the rest of us (dogs included) lose over time.

How many animals do you have?

Gosh, a lot. 2 horses, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and some fish.  I wish I could have more.  However, it is already just about impossible to leave town on vacation.

Does this dress make me look fat?

God no, you look great! Wait, what the hell are you talking about?  We were talking about traveling, and love of animals… and then this?  You are a mess!

Friday Fives – mapping and destinations

1.  What is the most beautiful place on the map that you have even been. 

Barcelona, Spain.  We went for our honeymoon, and it was amazing.  the architecture was amazing.  Before that trip, I didn’t notice, or care about buildings.  Boy, Europe sure changes that.  They have trees older than our country.  As to my architecture point (geesh, that is a bitch to type out), just do a google image search on their most famous architect – Guadi.  Here, I have done it for you.
 
2.  What about all the senseless ugly: What is the ugliest place on the map you have ever been. 
 
Dallas, TX.  Just an ugly city, ugly skyline, ugly art.  It’s the whole package.  I imagine there are possibly some amazing and transcendant suburbs.  The shit I saw, though, was just armpitty.
 
3.  In our GPS/Google Maps world, when was the last time you consulted a physical map. 
 
a map.  hmmm.  I have a bunch, but I use google for everything.  Last time would have been camping.  I have a topo map of the state.  So, I can see everything around me.  They are AWESOME.  I can see what my elevation is, where the nearest fishing spot is, there the nearest four wheeling route is… all kinds of super cool stuff.
 
Here is the trick to finding four wheeling.  Look for old forest service roads.  they are labeled ‘fr877’.  These are roads, obviously, that were used for logging and such a long time ago.  So, they are a big overgrown, but free of trees and boulders and cliffs and will always connect to somewhere else.  Assuming you have a truck, it’s also a great way to find camping spots.
 
4.  Columbus – hero or villain? 
 
the truth, as always, is much more complicated than that.  It seems he was largely inept.  I certainly don’t see him as a hero.  He was a few continents off, and seemed to only bring pain and misery to his crew and those around him through generally poor judgement.
 
With that being said, though, I have to ask myself this; were it not for him, would I not be here typing this?  Probably not.  So, I shouldn’t be so harsh.  I don’t blame him for genocide, though… or what happened to the native Americans.  That is just humanity being humanity, sadly.
 
5.  With Satellite mapping and the all of the world now know, is there much interest in geography anymore?
 
absolutely.  In fact, I think all the more now.  I can do a google street view of a neighborhood in Germany if I wanted.  That is pretty terrific, and awesome for education on the whole.

Friday Fives

Good morning team.  Last week’s Fives was half hearted.  I was writing from Rome.  Very tired, and likely a bit liquored up.  House wine costs about the same as water, so you can guess which one I chose.

holy-week-mandala-linda-pope

1. What exciting things are you doing this weekend?

well, I think I am having a birthday something or other Saturday night.  Also, hopefully meeting up with the terrific Chris Michas of Michas Guitars and get started on my custom guitar.  Also, will do a few hours of work at the dog shelter and maybe knock out the first disc of the madmen series on DVD.

Update – this happened.  Got the guitar, and it is stunning.  Take a look.

tiger-2017


2. Share with us some travel wisdom

This is from the great Rick Steves, who is a European travel guru… ours at least.  “Be flexible. When traveling, if you find things are not to your expectations, change your expectations.”  The whole experience of traveling, the highs and lows are all beautifully summed up by that one sentence.  Rick Steves is the bomb!  We used to be Lonely Planet devotees.  In fact, I contributed to a few of their Mexico books.  However, Rick is our new guy.  Free podcast audio tours, the works!

3. Ever gone to Spring Training?

No, because I don’t care about baseball.  However, I have done the football equivalent:  training camp.  When I was a kid, my uncle would take us to the Bills training camp in Fredonia, NY.  In AZ, the Cardinals would practice at NAU, where I was going to school.  So, I would watch them.  When I moved here (to Denver), I go see the Broncos every summer when I can.  Now that they have moved camp to their HQ, they are only 3 miles away!


4. Where is the most exotic place you have traveled?

That would be a toss up between Barcelona, Spain… and Rome, Italy.  Italy was amazing, and it is everything you imagine it… but better and grander and older.  However, Barcelona was covered in architecture by this dude Gaudi.  He is AMAZING.  Ever felt passionate about building?  Check this stuff out.  He is worth traveling the world to see his work.  Imagine, quite seriously, if Salvador Dali were an architect instead of a painter.  That is what you have here.  Oh, and Dali was Spanish too.

Bonus, after spending a week at Rome, I am churched out.  Jesus, they have a church there every 20 feet.  There churches have churches.  We did the Vatican and all that.  However, this is the greatest church on Earth.  It was designed by Gaudi, and is still under construction.  It’s called the Sagrada Familia. It looks photoshopped from a Scooby Doo cartoon.  No sir, this shit is real!

5. Where is your most recent travel destination?

are you even paying attention?  Just got back from Rome.  It was amazing.  So beautiful.  So simple.  and the food changed my life.  I have never had such sumptuous food and really good cheap wine in my life.  We ate like kings, and dirt cheap, too.  Some pics are here.  By the way, in case there is any question in your mind, after spending a week in Rome, the Catholic Church is the biggest for profit racket in history.  At the Vatican, I was in some of the holiest places on Earth… and they were pushing crap everywhere.  It was also the most expensive thing we did.  They are nuts, and none of this has to do with Jesus’ message.  It’s big business, plain and simple.  If I am going to shell out money for crap, let’s just go hog wild and follow Xenu.