Friday Fives

What’s your favorite holiday album?

Vince Guaraldi’s Charlie Brown Christmas.  Here, have a sample, you know this music.

Also need to make a special acknowledgement of Elvis’ Christmas Albums.  They are awesome!  They are completely phoned in.  Elvis doesn’t even bother articulating lyrics.  He just sings via guttural gesticulations.

What song’s lyrics, title, or theme best expresses the positive aspects of your general mood at this time of year?

River by Joni Mitchell

What song’s lyrics, title, or theme best expresses the not-so-positive aspects of your general mood at this time of year?

River by Joni Mitchell

What’s your favorite song about a non-December holiday?

Alice’s Restaurant by Arlo Guthrie

What holiday song makes you want to cover your ears and flee?

Paul McCartney’s ‘Simply having a wonderful Christmas Time’.  The reason is because the are NO LYRICS.  There is no VERSE or CHORUS.  There is no intro, bridge, or outtro.  He just says that goddamn fucking sentence over and over and over again for four minutes until I stick pencils into my bleeding ears.  Then I have to go to the hospital, again.  That does not make for a simply wonderful Christmas.  Especially when, in the Urgent Care waiting room, they play that song.  What I then do is staple my eye lids down.  This usually causes me to finally black out, and all is well again.  Is that what you wanted, Paul?  Did David Caruso put you up to this?  I will have you all killed!

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