Friday Fives – rock star deaths

guitar mandala

Another rock star died today, and by his own hand… again.  It’s time to have the talk.  The big talk.  The one your dad was supposed to have with you when you were 12… but he was afraid to.  So, instead he just told your mom that you two had ‘the talk’ and just bought you a Penthouse from that 7-11 over at 44th & Camelback?  You know, ‘scary Larry worked there overnights?’  Dude was LEGEND, and would sell ciggies and Mickey’s Big Mouth beers to anyone as long as there were no other customers in the store.

Or… am I being too specific?  So let’s just finally have that ‘talk’.  The ‘talk’ about rock stars dying.

ok, let’s get into it, shall we?

steven-adler-and-slash1

Kurt Cobain – do you think Courtney was involved?

No.  I wouldn’t put it past her, though.  I would not be surprised if we found out she was involved.  In this specific situation, though, I think it was all him.  Totally doesn’t mean she wasn’t planning that very second to have him killed.  It’s like the joke my pal Jeff told me about Kennedy’s killing.  There were so many people out for him:  the mob, the Cubans, the Republican hawks who didn’t want him to draw down Vietnam.  So, his point is more ‘who wasn’t trying to kill Kennedy that day?”

Here is the thing, I am kinda obsessed with Courtney.  I am in love her with, and reviled by her.  I have written about her a lot, and I will admit to you I also have a nude photo of her on my phone which is just fantastic.  She defines the term ‘hot mess’, and I also call her lovingly ‘the original Charlie Sheen’.

Is the ’27 Club’ a real thing, or just a perfect example of confirmation bias?

Yes, it’s a real thing.  Now, let me clarify… I am not saying more rock stars die at 27 than normal people.  No.  What I am saying is that when it comes to rock stars dying… there is overwhelming numbers that show it happens at 27 years old.  Believe it or not, I have a whole web site just about this.  I have been fascinated by this since high school.  That was 25 years ago, and it keeps happening.  I never could find a good site that just focused on this phenomenon.  Plus, I truly believe I know more about rock music that most folks alive… so who better than me to tackle it.

It’s called ‘Remember the 27’.  It’s cool, you should check it out if you are a music person.  I take a look at what I consider the top 5 reasons why this might be happening… and then drill down on each one.

What’s your favorite rock star death?  I know that’s a sick question… let me rephrase it ‘what is the most interesting death… to you’?

Brian Jones (from the Rolling Stones)… his death was listed as ‘death by misadventure’.  You don’t know the name, which is a shame.  He wrote their best early stuff – Paint it Black, Ruby Tuesday, Mother’s Little Helper.  He drowned, and everything about it is suspicious… but we’ll likely never know… since it was prolly 50 years ago.  His sacrifice may have been worth it, though… as we have the term ‘death by misadventure‘ in the lexicon now.

What rock star death hit you the hardest?

Initially, as in “I just can’t believe that happened.  I am still waiting for someone to tell him it was a mistake” – Chris Cornell.  Over a lifetime, though, Jerry Garcia.  Thing is, I wasn’t that impacted when it first happened because I was mad at him.  We saw them on their last tour, and it was terrible.  So terrible we walked out, which I had never done at a Dead show before.  Basically, when it happened, I wasn’t even a tiny bit surprised.  However, the sadness has compounded over the years.  I think he was the greatest guitarist we had.

Who is the rock star that you are most surprised isn’t dead?  Difficulty challenge – other than Keith Richards.  Don’t be so obvious, man!

Courtney.  She doesn’t just love drugs, she seems to have a lot of emotional and narcissistic tendencies.  I would bet her mentality about drugs is that they kill weaker people.  She also seems to possess all kinds of impulse control problems.  When she goes, it will be like Weiland.  We won’t be surprised… except for maybe how she lasted as long as she did.  I am pre-mourning her death in anticipation of the inevitable.

also, honorary mention on the ‘how is he still alive’ definitely goes to Slash.

 

What Courtney Love should have said

Jesus, this woman needs a publicist.

I had this idea.  Initially, it was just for this post.  Then, I realized I could get a book or blog or channel off this.  It is called ‘what Courtney Love should have said.  This is about Courtney slamming Grohl and Noveselic playing with Paul McCartney last week.  Unlike everyone else on Earth, Courtney is all butt hurt that they were playing together.  Why?  Because it is for charity, I think.  Which means no money for her.  Or maybe because they didn’t ask her permission.

Before I get to what she did say, which just makes me all dumb and angry, let’s start with what she SHOULD have said upon learning Sir Paul was jamming with the boys.

“Wow, I am honored, excited, and humbled!  I just learned today that Sir Paul McCartney is going to play with the guys from Nirvana.  My God, what an honor.  The Beatles fronting Nirvana?  Holy shit, that is Nirvana.  I’d like to say ‘I’m not worthy’, but I am pretty sure royalties go to Mike Meyers each time someone says it.”  What’s better?  They are getting to together for charity.  Today is the best day I have had in a long time, and I appreciate everyone who has stayed with the band over the years and kept us all relevant.  God Bless!  Courtney”

Of course, this isn’t what she said.  Oh no.  Not even a little.  First, she said she was “not amused“.  What does that even mean?  Then, she slammed Noveselic’s bass playing

Paul better get earmuffs for the bass playing is all, it’s not exactly known for its brilliance

Well, that is just dumb and mean spirited.  Also, it kind of has NOTHING to do with anything.  If you want to be clever, that wasn’t it.  Since we are talking about the Beatles… here is what being clever looks like.  When asked if Ringo was the best drummer in the world, Lennon replied “he isn’t even the best drummer in the Beatles.”  Now that is how you be funny and cutting.  Well, obviously not you.

Then, the closer is this.  After the performance, she drops this gem on top of the motherfucking Beatle who graced her ex husbands’ band.

Uh it was bad

Wow.  Stay classy, Courtney!

* update – they didn’t even play a Nirvana song.  So, Courtney made an ass out of herself for no reason… AND didn’t score any royalties, either.  Also, regarding the quote above… Courtney is a zillionaire, can’t she afford a comma?

Friday Fives

Summer reading list:

1. Do you still read a newspaper regularly?

not at all.  Not even the sunday paper.  I read 9news.com on my cell phone.

2. What about magazines?  Are you a subscriber?

oh yeah, crazy about magazines.  I subscribe to Rolling Stone, Playboy, Popular Mechanics, Consumer Reports, and Guitar Aficionado

3. What is the last book you read?

Lies Chelsea Handler told me.  Enjoying read, as all of her books are.  If you haven’t read a Chelsea book yet, and you seek to start… start with ‘Are you there, Vodka?  It’s me, Chelsea’. Oh, and since you asked, I actually archive my reading list here on the site. Updated monthly, as I burn through a book about once a month

4..My favorite part of magazines are the short stories. Do you have a favorite short story?

absolutely.  My favorite thing about literature is short stories.  I used to write them, too.  I would say ‘Hills like White Elephants’ from Hemingway is very memorable. Lot of subtext in there. Shit gets heavy after you read it a few times.

5.What do you read the most on the web?

news.  Music news, especially.  The best site for music news is NME.com > It is a British site, and they are usually about 24 hours ahead of the American news cycle.  Plus, they are snarky and don’t censor swearing.  I am especially endlessly fascinated with Courtney Love.  She may be the greatest celebrity train wreck in history.  I mean, she is Charlie Sheen crazy… but has been doing it for 20 years.  I mean, try this ten page gem from last weekend.