the cat product magic barometer

Look at this amazing product!  It’s the self cleaning litter box
cat thing

  • What if I told you we have a system that scoops kitty litter for you?
  • What if I told you that you never had to scoop cat poop again?
  • What if I told you that you never had to even look at cat poop again?
  • What if I told you this product eliminates any need for you to deal with your cat’s eliminations?

OR…  what if I told you that if you are so terrified of litter and can’t poop…

Maybe a cat isn’t for you, jackass. If you have, or need, this, it means you get NO cats

conversely

I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you about this one, the litter robot.

I wish to god I could tell you that photo above is photoshopped, or from the Onion.  It ain’t.  Oh, and as far as the Onion goes?  This is their actual tagline.  Go ahead and click away if you don’t believe me (and you shouldn’t)

The future called.
It said your litter box is full

this which emails you when that cat poops?   You can pull up the ‘health’ of your shitter box on Bluetooth?  I am SO tired of NEVER knowing that status of the litter?   It’s like I have been walking downstairs to feed and clean up after the cat like an idiot for years?

This one tells me you are a little too into cats.  Maybe you don’t need all 17, lady.  Maybe that is why you are alone in your apartment.  I am reminded of Janene’s Garafalo’s character’s line in that movie “it’s ok to love your pets, just don’t louuuvveee your pets.”

$400.  Buy one now, assuming your cat seeks to shit in a space helmet going forward.  And if he does… maybe Mr Mittens has some other underlying issues regarding space travel for cats.

If you have, or need, this… it means no more cats.

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