Ok, I just saw a commercial for the awesomest movie ever made. It was rad. There was explosions and stuff that blew and then there was things that just disintegrated. Yeah. It was about the best commercial ever, for what I assume will be the best movie ever.
Then, just as I am pledging my life to this new cinematic vision… it happens. The last shot as it fades to black is Keanu Reeves. What? no! really? You took that movie and gave it to Keanu Reeves? He is the worst actor ever. That is like building a super car porsche mercedes Ferarri car and then giving the keys to Nick Nolte. It’s like getting Picasso and Monet and Dali to collaborate on a mural and your executive director is Thomas Kinkaid.
I mean, why waste that much awesomeness on Keanu Reeves? That would be like taking what was on track to be the greatest rock band in history and firing everyone and then stealing the band name and releasing your follow up album only 20 years later with no original members?
It’s like getting Seth McFarland and Matt Groening together to work on a screenplay… for… a saved by the bell reunion. What a waste of all that awesomeness. Now I never see that movie. I can’t wait to miss that movie. I am going to get off work early the day it comes out to make sure I miss it.