Friday Fives – media inquiry edition

1.  What Jeopardy category would you totally dominate?

rock and roll.  If only there was a rock and roll jeopardy, I would run the world, seriously.  The  sad part is, they did have one, years ago.  Jeff Probst was the host, long before Survivor.  Problem with that was, it was only for celebs.  There are clips online, its fun to watch.  To soothe myself, I play the rock category on Quizup on my phone.  It is super addictive, and they have every category you can imagine.  I kill at Simpsons, and I am top in all of Colorado for rock trivia.  I am in the 30’s for nationwide, but crawling up every day.  Come find me and play some games online.  My screen name is ‘Baron von Lono’, and my avatar is a pic of Dali (but of course)

If you can beat me in rock trivia, I will buy you lunch.  What’s my secret?  Well, I learned from the ancients and elders, like the band Mister Mister.  Carry a ladle, my brother.  Carry a ladle indeed.

2.  What cover song do you enjoy more than the original?

Good and thoughtful question, I am impressed.  I would have to say Jimi Hendrix version of ‘All Along the Watchtower’ is easily one.  Strangely, that was Jimi’s biggest charting hit ever.  Bob Dylan (who wrote the song) like Jimi’s arrangement so much he changed the way he played it going forward to match Jimi’s version.

I am hoping and assuming you have heard Johnny Cash’s later work with Rick Rubin.  He did some AMAZING covers, and truly made them his own: Hurt, rusty cage, one.  Lesse… what else.  Janis’ version of Bobby McGee.  That is a Kris Kristofferson song.  Some other sad trivia about that is Janis never saw its success.  She died before the album came out that it was on.

Zac Brown band does a really great ‘Jolene’, which is Ray Lamontagne.  Quite a the departure for a country boy, and song that turned me on to ZBB.

Here is a fun one.  Walk off the Earth does a bitchin cover (and bitchin video) of Lorde’s ‘Royals‘.  All of their videos are super cool and innovative.

I will close with this awesome and unlikely pairing.  Willie Nelson covering Pearl Jam.

I could also tell you about the Grateful Dead covering Metallica.  However, you are just not ready for that yet.  But its real and it exists.

3.  What song, movie, game, etc. has a surprisingly dark message when you really look closer at it?

ooh, another thoughtful question.  I am quite tickled with today’s line of interrogation.  This is truly my expertise.  There are a bunch.  Born in the USA has such a booming and hopeful chorus.  The song is incredibly dark.  Reads mostly like a suicide note if you just look at the lyrics.  Here, go do.

Of course there is the Police with Every Breath you Take, but you already knew that one.

How about Today from Smashing Pumpkins?  Billy says he wrote that as a suicide note after fighting with writers block for some time, and a huge deadline approaching for him to deliver his big commercial breakthrough album (which became the masterpiece ‘Siamese Dream’).

There are, of course, tons.  All great music is written from sadness and heartbreak.

4.  What is the best, most creative music video you have seen?

That would have to go to the Beastie Boys ‘Sabotage’ video.  I can’t think of a better one.

5.    What’s your theme song?

this one, I think

Friday Fives – inventions

1. What is something you own, but have no idea how to use?

an iron.  I like to look nice, but I have NO idea how to iron.  I have tried, a lot.  Here is what happens, specifically – when I iron out these wrinkles right in front of me I am creating new wrinkles somewhere else.  It is never ending.  Luckily, I have an easy solution.  Everything gets machine washed, except dress shirts.  Those get dry cleaned.  It’s a buck a shirt, and SO worth it.  Plus, my dry cleaner is right on the way to work.  So, even if I knew how to iron, it is still worth a buck to two take two weeks worth of shirts.  bam, done!

2. What movie can you quote the most lines from?

like everyone, Princess Bride.  Bonus – also can do same with ‘Fish Called Wanda’.  I was also this way with ‘harold and maude’ and ‘harvey’.  But, I haven’t seen the former in about ten years.  I did watch Harvey three times last year.  It just came out on blu ray.  What a fantastic movie.  It’s probably 60 years old, but it holds up like crazy.

3. What is something useless that has been stamped to your permanent memory?

the details of every rock band.  every album, every lyric, every back story, i know what setlists are going to be to bands I don’t even follow.  Do you know what Billy Corgan’s middle name is, and why?  Do you know the last time the Dead played ‘Dark Star’?  Do you know Jack White’s real name is?  Do you know what Paul Simon was talking about when he sang about ‘Me and Julio down by the schoolyard’?  I do, and it’s USELESS.  I work in customer service, and not for a record company.

Here is a true story to prove my amazing and nearly useless amazing amount of rock knolwedge.  To say it is ‘complete’ is absurd… but it’s complete.  Again, here is my humble brag example.  I recently bought and read this terrific book.  It looked like stuff I likey knew already.  The wifey even said “why are you reading that, don’t you already know every story?”.  My reply was, “I do, but I want to fact check this guy to see if he does.”

In this book, I found a story that I wrote and discovered.  After  I ead that story, I told the wifey “this is MY scoop.  I am the one who found this”  She thought I was nuts, and maybe I was.  Then, I get to the end of the book and I am cited in the credits.  Seriously, check for yourself.  I am cited as reference material for a book on rock history and I didn’t even know about it.  That is pretty bad ass, and an honor.  You can check yourself.  My acknowledgement is on page 214, top line, of the paperback version.  I discovered my name in the book in the bathtub, and came running out to show the wifey.  naked and wet and old and fat.  That’s right, ladies.  Too bad I am taken!

By the way, if any of you are interested in setlist, this site is AWESOME.  It knows everything.  You can also search by venue, band, or even song.  Plus, they are freeHere is why you do, and don’t, want to check that site before your next rock concert.  The band you are going to see plays the exact same set each night.  It’s just a logistics thing, for lighting queues and instrument changes.  So, you can see what you missed, but I never check before I show, I want to be surprised by the song choices.

I do use my music knowledge to write, though.  It’s my two passions smooshed together all on this site.  Like this site, the content there is 100% original and my own.  It’s right over here.

4. What is something you feel is a pointless invention and why?

pointless?  Considering we still haven’t cured aids or cancer, not sure how much R&D we needed for the electic can opener.  Is this too complex for you?  Actually, I shouldn’t complain.  That can opener in the link above is AWESOME.  it isn’t what I grew up with, though.  We had these, and they are a piece of shit.  So, I guess I should praise can opener R&D so that we aren’t still stuck using this.

So since I kinda changed my vote mid- answer, do I have to re-answer the question?  I don’t wanna.  I love innovation, and I work in the tech field.  So, the wishy washy answer above will have to do.

5. What TV show has the best theme song?

can’t think of a catchier or better song than ‘friends’.  OOOHHH, wait.  THIS song.  I was so enamored with this song I took the bus all the way to the ball (two buses, actually, and then a 2 mile walk in the Phoenix sun) to buy the 33 rpm record.  that is how much I loved this song.  Joey Scarbury’s ‘Beleive it or Not’.  In fact, I will do more than hotlink it.  Let’s embed that shit!

Know what?  That wasn’t a very fulfilling Fives.  Normally, I would give you some bonus content – and you deserve my best.  But, the laptop battery is about 3 minutes away from dying.  So, we better wrap this up.  Have a great week, and know that we all love you.

*** update – as promised, the iPod fives game.  I am going to cross post this over to my other site.  Couple reasons for that.  One is, this post is plenty long.  The other is, I want to get y’all familiar with my other site.  It’s pretty good, if you know music.  It’s a few hours later and the laptop is charged.  Been writing for a couple hours now, which is pretty nice of me. I don’t get paid for this, and I am off to bed.

Friday Fives – channel edition

What’s your favorite TV network?

usually anything on NatGeo Wild is awesome.  Food network is generally a reliable time killer, especially on Sunday nights

If you could create your own channel, what would it be?

Two words for you:  tank fight©  Is that a show?  A network?  No, it’s a way of life, and I just patented that shit right here.  BOOM!

What TV show did you watch as a child, that you wish they would bring back?

Easy.  Greatest American Hero.  The reluctant superhero.  Maybe that’s a Stan Lee archetype, but I liked it because Ralph was clearly a regular dude, and a terrible super hero.  Very relatable to a young, impressionable, Lono.  It’s how I knew I would be a super hero… and I was Correct.

What show have you always hated, and wonder why they ever made such a dumb show?

Hee Haw.  This is related to the Greatest American Hero, in fact.  I wrote a whole piece on how something so dumb and horrible could stay on the air like Hee Haw did.   OOOHH, here is another one.  Mama’s Family.  My god how I hated that show.  It was just terrible.  Never funny, never cute.  That shit wouldn’t last 20 seconds in this era of 1200 channels to choose from.  Shit like ‘Mama’s Family’ only lasted because we only had 3 channels.  A pox on Vicki Lawrence for that drivel.

What TV shows seasons would you buy on DVD?

ALL tv is better on DVD.  Not just because of the lack of commercials, but it is great for the continuity.  It is so much easier to remember plot points and characters and storylines if you can binge a whole season of tv in one weekend.  That is how I got into Lost.  Everyone told me how great it was, but it was already a few years in.  So, th wifey and I netflixed it.  We knocked out the first 3 seasons over a week or two.  It was amazing.  It also made the show WAY worse to watch in real time.  42 minutes a week, to find out nothing?  I am SO confused, and the ending super sucked.  What a cop out that was.  Outside of a few good storylines explaining Jacob as the smoke monster, everything else was dropped and they were simply all dead at the end.  This was a bigger cop out that Dallas bringing Patrick Ewing back five years later after being written off the show.  Google it.

Friday Fives

1. If you could retroactively erase one TV show from the history of entertainment, which one would you choose?

hee haw.  I hated that show, deeply.  So you say “then don’t watch it.  What are you, a cop?”  Here is the problem, when I was a kid, I used to always watch ‘the Greatest American Hero’.  It’s the reason god made tv.  Not sure if it was initially on prime time, but they would run it on Saturday afternoons.  I would watch the show, and somehow fall asleep towards the end (which is NO commentary on the best show ever, just my attention span, I guess).  Anyhow, when I would awake… always… Hee Haw was on.  It was completely lost on me, on every level.  So, I would wake up angry.  I mean… I missed the end of Greatest American Hero, and now I am watching these hillbillies tell puns from a corn field.  Lame.

First, let me tell you I loved that show so much I bought the theme on a 45.  Joey Scarbury’s ‘Believe it or Not’.  Hee Haw, on the other end, led me to come up with the theory of how terrible television survives.  I call this, quite seriously, the ‘Hee Haw Theory’.  I wondered… how could such a terrible show could get enough ratings to sustain itself.  Well, my 8 year old mind came up with the fact that Hee Haw only survived in ratings because America fell asleep watching an actual good show, and so the channel was never changed.  Now, this isn’t too far from the actual truth of how programming works.  You always start with a strong ‘lead in’ to launch a new show.  Remember how NBC ran the world on Thursday nights?  Cheers, Night Court, Seinfeld, Friends… etc.   So, whenever NBC wanted to launch a sit com, they would sammich it in between those winner shows.  same principle!

geesh, I went on quite a tear there, didn’t I?  It is just that I have thought WAY too much about this, and no one has ever asked me.  So, thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

2. Are you more like your mother or your father?

interesting question.  I have the charm and genetics of my father, but (hopefully) the good sense of my mom.  You know how people where those ‘what would jesus do’ bracelets?  Well, I think “what would my mom do in this situation?”.  I am lucky enough to still have my mom around, and she remains a great influence in my life.  I got to see her last weekend, in fact.

3. If you could take a year-long vacation, what would you do?

glad you asked.  First off, a month in Alaska.  Then, a month in switzerland… or sweden… the one that is all mountainy and green and pretty.  Maybe it is both.  The rest of the time I would be a beach bum in Mexico.  bon fires and guitar jams.

4. Can you think of a reason not to answer this question?

no

5. What’s the nicest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

I flew down to Phoenix last weekend to completely surprise the shit out of my mom for her birthday.  It’s not that great.  it is small payment for having the greatest mom in history, but it sprung to mind.  Does that make me a better son than you?  Pretty much.