Is TMZ staged?

So, I was driving home today and I had a vision.  I watch TMZ, see.  I ain’t proud of it, but I do.  I have watched on and off for quite a while.  I noticed everyone used to be really mean to them.  No surprise, that is how most folks respond to paparazzi.  In fact, I think you are supposed to be mean to them.  What the hell do they care, they are going to sell your likeness to make their money.

Then, I noticed recently that everyone is really nice to TMZ.  Why is that?  Even the super militant anti-paparazzi like George Clooney are all smiley with TMZ.  Doesn’t make sense, does it?

So, who the hell is Harvey Levin?  I mean, he owns it, right?  Where did he get the seed money to start the largest and most influential papp outfit in history?  I did some digging.  He was a court TV reporter.  He is also way older than he looks (does he look 57?).  Harvey doesn’t own TMZ.  AOL/Time Warner owns TMZ.  AOL/Time Warner is a really really really big company.  They own everything you watch and hear.  Is this starting to make sense now?

Here is an example.  I remember a month ago or so, they (TMZ) showed Courtney Cox mattress shopping with her husband.  WTF?  I mean, I can see if you are snapped coming out of the Ivy or Nobu.  But… are papps hanging out outside of mattress stores?  Makes no sense, until… you remember that Courtney Cox Arquette has a new show coming this fall.  She needs some mojo.  So, it’s the only possible solution… Cox’ publicist calls TMZ and tips them off.

Don’t think it doesn’t happen.  Go back to old Kathy Griffin D List shows.  In order to keep herself in the public eye (which is critical for a starlet), she would alert the press to her evey move.  Sadly, now, I find her show almost entirely too staged .  She was better when no one was watching.

So, when you are watching TMZ, you might not be seeing your favorite celebs with their guard down.  You might just be watching a 30 minute Time Warner commercial.  I am still watching, either way.

Friday Fives

Friday hodge podge.

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Where is your favorite place to eat breakfast.

I don’t like breakfast.   I don’t even like the question.  Just the very mention of mornings frankly angers me.  I will tell you this, it would involve bacon.

What is your favorite place to get stinkin’ drunk

besides safe at home > My brothers bar.  One of America’s most famous and old and literary bars.  Yet, you have to know where it is.  It has no signs of any kind.   I know that sounds dramatic, but if you are in… you know.  * that picture above.  Taken from my blackberry about a month ago for no good reason.  Fortunately, I had it sitting there, so it segued quite nicely… don’t you think?

‘t What do you do to ask for forgiveness (see above)

buy flowers, and be sincere about not doing it again.  most importantly… not doing it again.  I have been married for 12 plus years, I am good at this stuff.

What is your absolute, must have on hand condiment?

your mother

Do you follow celebrity gossip?  Who gets your attention.

first off, I am above all of this.  I don’t participate in your bullshit bourgeois patriarchal celebrity culture.  Second, I never miss TMZ and I read the enquirer every week in the bath.  Yeah, I know.  I suck.  On an unrelated note, doesn’t Harvey look great for being 58?  Seriously, it’s kinda creepy how old he is.  Mostly, I wonder why Woody Harrelson goes apeshit around all paparazzi.  Isn’t weed supposed to mellow you out?

I’m a lawyer!