Friday Fives- just a bunch more of my nonsense


What are your scariest/most traumatic stories from your childhood?

Falling and cracking my forehead open, multiple times.  One of the times, not sure which, I remember driving in my mom’s car holding a bloody towel to my head to stem the considerable blood flow.  That kinda freaked me out. I was like 6 or 5 or 8 or something like that.  Pretty traumatic, thanks for bringing that horrible memory back up.  Just when I was moving on with my life.

What’s your completely ridiculous and stupid suggestion for solving a big problem?

Turn signals.  Use your turn signals.  Always, for everything.  Even if you are just pulling into your driveway.  Especially if you are in a parking lot.  Not sure to use it, then use it!  It costs you nothing, it takes no time or effort.  Are you going to cut me off in traffic?  At least warn me.

What’s the most inefficient way you’ve ever seen anyone do something?

starting a fire with kindling and newspaper and all that.  Yes, I get it… it is a primeval man skill, and an art, and all that jazz.  I know you can build a fire, so can everyone else who is over 12.  Do yourself a favor, use a Duraflame log.  Camping, home… wherever.  They are cheap, about a buck a piece if you go generic.  Put that on the bottom, now build your fire out as you would.  Light the duraflame and sit back and have a beer.

What drink is outrageously underrated?

The Roger Bottoms®!  You haven’t heard of it because it was invented by my editor, and named by me.  Well, maybe it existed, but we named it.  It is a glass of Guinness with about a shot of two of Port wine. It is transcendent.  You are welcome, America!

What skill do you plan on picking up for 2016?

Arson. Flexibility.