Friday Fives – a true random edition of fives


1.  Name five celebrities you admire?

Zach Galifinakis, Eddie Vedder, Natalie Maines, Adam Carolla, Anthony Bourdain, and Ozzy.  Why?  I find them funny, talented, and trustworthy.  I would never expect anyone of them to say anything that wasn’t 100% to their beliefs and philosophies.

Can I be more specific?  let’s talk about Dave Mustaine from Megadeth.  Dave recently said, in Europe on tour, that the Batman theater shootings were orchestrated by President Obama to launch gun control.  What kind of fucking stupidity is that? I get that he hates the President.  He gets to, that is why America is great.  Lord knows I hated Bush with a profound depth.  But, that statement is just mean to all the people who suffered that.  Does he really believe that?  Or, was that just an excuse for him to address the fact that he doesn’t trust Democrats on gun control.  I lost SO much respect for Mustaine when I heard that.  I had precious little already, but that was about the end of it.

So, did I burn my Megadeth albums?  no.  Megadeth is awesome.  Plus, anyone who expects deep wisdom from a guy who named himself ‘Megadeth’ needs to pick up a newspaper now and again.  If I want decent and proper right wing bantering, I have Uncle Ted.  Though I disagree with him on nearly everything, he is always well informed and passionate and articulate.  Also, Uncle Ted rocks.  There is simply nothing on earth cooler than this riff.  FACT.  I don’t care if he eats puppies for lunch, he is a great rock star.  Plus, it would not surprise me if Uncle Ted did eat puppies for lunch.

 2.  Name five celebrities you don’t care for?

 Jim Carrey.  Wanna know why?  A few years ago, In Living Color was doing a big reunion.   10 years, or 20 years… something big.  Every star was there, except Jim Carrey.  That show, 100%, made Jim Carrey.  Jim Carrey owes absolutely everything to that show, and to Keenan Ivory Wayans.  He said he was doing a movie or something.  I simply do not believe that he couldn’t make it if he tried.  He is probably getting 20 million a movie.  So, he should have hired a jet to take him back for 8 hours for the re-union.  See, with that show, Jim Carrey gets a jet.  Without that show, Jim Carrey drives a Jetta.

Listen, I am not saying Jim Carrey isn’t wicked talented, or doesn’t deserve his fame.  Not at all, see below.  I am saying Keenan gave him the break that got him started.

PLUS… along with his super hot and super crazy girlfriend, Jim Carrey has convinced parents not to immunize against measles.  They very incorrectly believe, and teach, that there is a correlation between measles vaccines and the rise in autism.  They are wrong, and I know that for a fact. The rise in autism cases does not, and should not, represent a rise in autism.  The rise in autism cases is changes made between the release of DSM 3 and DSM4 which changed the categorization of childhood behavior.  Before the DSM 4, you may have been a moody kid, or a sad kid, or a funny kid, or a chatty kid.  After DSM4, those were all moved to be labeled as ‘Autism’.  Something very very similar happened with ADD/ADHD.  When I was a kid, you were just called a ‘spaz’, but they didn’t’ medicate you for that.  Hot topic for me, as I am reading about this as we speak.

On the upside, though, dude is a remarkable actor.  He also makes gutsy choices.  He did a 2 hour ode to homosexual love called “I love you Phillip Morris“.  The movie studios were so afraid to back a movie about gay love that they pulled the plug and it went straight to video.  Plus, we can all agree he killed it in ‘Man on the Moon’.  He was more Andy Kaufman than Andy Kaufman ever was.

So… what about Ted Nugent?  Is he on my list here, for people I “don’t care for”?  Nope, not at all.  he is a decent and thoughtful guy who just has wildly different philosophies than I do regarding guns in our culture.  That by no means makes him an enemy of mine.

3.  Name five songs that you can’t live with out?

Angel, Jimi Hendrix

(the acoustic version, not that schlock from First Rays of the New Rising Sun that got shit out 30 years after he died.)  Since we are talking about Jimi, I have to acknowledge the ‘trinity’ of awesomeness:  Little Wing, Castles Made of Sand, and Wind Cries Mary.  To teach myself guitar, I taught myself those songs, because they were the toughest, and most beautiful.  I can still play the shit out of those songs on guitar.  Learning those taught me technique that was useful, and specific to Hendrix… like how he used his thumb

Allman Brothers – Whipping Post

Smashing Pumpkins – Mayonnaise

Grateful Dead – Scarlett>Fire jam – 5.7.77

Bob Dylan – Visions of Johanna

Ten Years Gone – Led Zeppelin

Seek and Destroy – Metallica

Parachutes – Pearl Jam

4.  Name your top five favorite books?

Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll*

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas – Hunter S Thompson

Tropic of Cancer – Henry Miller

On the Road – Jack Keroac

Steppenwolfe – Herman Hesse

Lamb; the Gospel According to Biff – Christopher Moore*

*you can find more thorough musings from me on these books over on this page, where I catalogue every book I am reading over the last several years

 5.  Name your top five favorite breakfast cereals?

fruit loops, apple jacks, frosted mini wheats, and bacon.  I know bacon isn’t a cereal, but bacon is delicious and yummy and easy to cook, and certainly not worse for me than those sugar shots listed above