Friday Fives

1. What sitcom perfectly depicts your life?

Two Broke Girls.  Not sure if you are familiar with it.  however, once I describe it you will be FREAKED by the similarities.  Two hot girls who are in their late 20’s waitress in a divey greasy spoon restaurant outside of NYC.  Their upstairs neighbor is a feisty polish cougar, and their ambition is to get out of all this and open a cupcake shop.

The parallels almost terrify me.  I have considered legal action, but it is kinda fun watching my real life play out on the screen.  It is like watching my own auto-biography.

2. What TV moment really made you smile?

Chris Cornell covering Pearl Jam’s ‘footsteps‘ the other night on Jimmy Fallon.  It’s kind of a surreal full circle moment.  Chris and Eddie sang that song together on the Temple of the Dog album, but with different lyrics.  So, there are 2 songs which are musically identical.  One is Pearl Jam’s ‘footsteps’, and the other is Temple of the Dog’s ‘Times of Trouble’.  Eddie Vedder sings on both.  Make sense?

3. You are stuck in the world of your favorite movie/tv show, what do you do

duck dynasty?  I would go fishing.  They own all that land.  Think of fishing on your own land;  You could cheat SO hard.  You could have fishing competitions with buddies.  You can get all liquored up on the boat and drive back to the house, because you are on private property the whole time.  Dynamite fishing?  You bet your ass!  Literally shooting fish in a barrel?  Positively!

4. In the movie Die Hard, Hans dies while falling backward while Beethoven’s Ode to Joy plays loudly in the background.

How does your death scene montage play out?

something like this.

5. Baseball’s World Series is on, no one seems to care. What other former major event still keeps going, to your amazement?

I have zero interest in all sports except NFL football.  I don’t even watch college football.  For example, I don’t even know if Basketball is being played right now.

Friday Fives – the trash(y) edition

1.  Do you have a junk drawer?

oh yes, 2, and that is just in the kitchen.  I wish I had more space.  I am a BIG propenent of the junk drawer.  You simply can’t have enough space dedicated to it.  I consider myself a well organized guy when I want to be.  So, about two or three times a year I go through that drawer and think:  Do I really need this?  If so, isn’t there a more appropriate permanent place for it to live in the house?  The answer is always “yes” and then “no”.

2.  What’s the trashiest novel you have ever read?

a severed head – Iris Murdoch – just a terrible book of nonsense.  Know when a show ‘jumps the shark’?  This book did that every chapter.  I felt I was being talked down to.  maybe it is a book for ten year old boys.

3.  We have secret diversions – what movie/television show do you enjoy that is simply a trashy diversion.

oh man, those I got in spades.  Let’s start with Duck Dynasty, and Two Broke Girls.  Wanna see the gal (Kat Dennings) from Two Broke Girls nekkid? * Click here, but NOT at work.  This gal is absolutely stunning.  Needless to say, there are a few more pics online if you google them.  Remember to turn off your safe search, and don’t do this at work for god’s sake.  If you get fired, you know I am just going to tell a great story about it here.

4.  Ever find an amazing find at a thrift store or yard sale?

yeah, these shoes!  Never mind, I think I just wrote about that last week.  yes, I love thrift stores.  As for yard sales, lemme tell you about the story of this little toy car.  Sorry, no pic of my awesome shoes.  Too much work and it is bed time.

5.  When was the last time you got totally, truly, embarrassingly trashed.

It has been a very long time.  At least a year.  I stopped drinking for a myriad of reasons, mostly weight and calorie based.  That, and the hangovers just got too brutal.  Getting properly loaded is a young mans game for sure.  however, I am about ready for a grand one.  Just may knock that out this weekend, now that I got a new batch of cider ready to keg.

* note.  My application just told me I misspelled the word ‘nekkid’.  Yes, I did.  That is for good reason.  If I spelled it correctly, your work filter, and mine, would catch the site and block it.  Besides, like ‘sammich’, its just more fun to say.