Friday Fives – pets and relocation edition

If you could move anywhere in the world and be guaranteed a job, etc, where would you go?

Italy. Not Rome, mind you, but a little seaside village. A close second would Barcelona. Third place? Right here in Colorado.  That pic up there is the ‘Sagrada Familia’.  It is a church being built in Spain.  Look closely at the crazy architecture.  It’s like a combination of a cartoon and a hallucination.  They have been building it for about 100 years, and they expect it may be another 100 years.  Wanna work there?  You can.  It doesn’t pay, but if you show up they will teach you a trade because they (the family carrying on Gaudi’s work) needs all the help they can get.  That is the kind of society I want to live in.  Even though I am super atheist, I will gladly give my days and nights to see such a marvel come to life.

If you had a time machine, and could witness any one event without altering or disturbing it, what would you want to see?

Easy, the Kennedy assassination. Not necessarily to stop it, or even solve it. But, I have a LOT of questions that have never been answered sufficiently by the Warren Report. In fact, I wouldn’t mind a loop – Groundhog day style – of being there 30 minutes before it happens. I wanna do that 5 times. I could just be a ghost and not interfere. I wanna be behind that car, then I wanna be on the grassy knoll, then I wanna be in that room wit Oswald.

Which do you prefer: cats or dogs? Why?

Both I love very much. Obviously, a dog’s love and loyalty are extraordinary. I am still trying to be the person my dog thinks I am. However, there is something to be said for the independence of a cat.

I just envy their life. They serve no master but themselves. They live in the moment, and still seem to have a sense of wonder about life that the rest of us (dogs included) lose over time.

How many animals do you have?

Gosh, a lot. 2 horses, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and some fish.  I wish I could have more.  However, it is already just about impossible to leave town on vacation.

Does this dress make me look fat?

God no, you look great! Wait, what the hell are you talking about?  We were talking about traveling, and love of animals… and then this?  You are a mess!

Friday Fives

1. Guys- what’s the girliest thing you do regularly?

If you want to look at traditional societal roles, this may appear girly.  I do the laundry, cooking, and cleaning for the most part at home.  You callin’ me yella?  Oh, here is something girly and lame.  I am sitting and watching freestyle dressage on the Olympics.  What freestyle dressage is is basically horse dancing.  I told the wife if anyone asks what we did tonight tell them I was watching tank fights.

2. If people had YouTube in 1912, what do you think they’d be posting videos of?

Great question.  Mostly racist shit,  tutorials about nooses.  Am I saying everyone in 1912 was racist?  Yeah, I absolutely am.   Probably lots of videos about cars.  Cars were still largely a novelty at this time.  They believed that if you went 50 mph in a car your face would melt off.  There were no interstates, or even paved roads.  Also, frankly, their MP3 player and nav systems just sucked balls.  Airbag technology was at least 2 years off at this point.

3.  What is the most believable conspiracy theory you have heard?

That Lyndon Johnson was somehow engaged in the Kennedy assassination and that Vietnam was a part of that scenario.  See, I believe that Oswald was the lone shooter.  Science has proven that.  However, I do not believe he acted alone.  That guy was a half wit, and crazy paranoid.  No way he could have pieced that plan together.  Even if you don’t believe the Johnson part of the puzzle… which is debatable… I am 100% positive that Oswald wasn’t alone in the planning.  I would bet a thousand bucks on that fact.

I am seriously interested in the Kennedy killing, btw.  I could talk for a few hours about it with you.  Even went to Dallas and checked out Daley plaza.  Got to stand on the grassy knoll, see the depository, and even stand on the exact mark where Kennedy was killed.  The roads are still open, but it has become a creepy tourist destination.  When we were there people were selling weird Tchotchke and of course the obligatory crazy people with hand drawn signs talking about the govt and aliens.

4.  What is the worst thing anyone has said to you in your adult life?

I don’t know, that is a weird and heavy question.  Not one I care to dwell on.  Also, if I could think of one, I certainly wouldn’t tell you.  Bully.

5.  What is your NEVER AGAIN liquor and the story behind it?

Oh, I have one alright.  College story, of course, and I ain’t saying a goddamn word about it.

Saturday Sixes



1) What was the first song you remember hearing and enjoying on the radio?

 I have a very powerful and distant memory of waking up in a cabin in the woods from a nap of some sort.  I am about 5 or 6.  There is no one there, just the peace of the forest, and John Denver’s ‘Country Roads’ was playing from somewhere.  It’s a good memory, and I wish I remembered more of the context. 

2) If you could only listen to five CDs for a year, which five would they be? (Boxed sets can count as one CD. Sigh.)

In the business, we call this ‘desert island discs’.  Ok, off the top of my head:  Bob Dylan – Blood on the Tracks.  Grateful Dead – From the Vault (live 1975, the Help/Slipnot/Franklins will blow your fucking mind.)  Metallica – Master of Puppets.  Guns & Roses – Appetite for Destruction.  Pearl Jam – Yield.  No, wait… the one with the avocado on the cover.  I think it is just called ‘Pearl Jam’.

3) What was your favorite year, music-wise?

1977 seemed to be a sick year for rock and roll, as my buddy Eric pointed out.  You have the Led Zeppelin ‘Destroyer’ bootleg out of Cleveland.  Steely Dan is landing Aja.  Grateful Dead drop ‘Terrapin Station’ and Fleetwood Mac put out ‘Rumors’.  Also, I think that is the year for Eagles ‘Hotel California’.  So, that was a seriously epic year for rock.  Too bad I was only 5 at the time.

4) If you could witness one historical music event through all time, what would you pick, and why?

Not Woodstock.  Every musician there said there set sucked.  People romanticize that festival.  I mean, it was a landmark.  But, if you were there, it kinda sucked.  It rained the whole time, traffic was a nightmare, food and bathroom were almost non existant, and that sound system sucked.  None of it was built to support 500,000 people, which is how many showed up.  That was 1969.  The event I would choose, musically, would be the Monterey Pop Festival in 67.  This was the peak of the San Francisco scene, and it coalesced perfectly at that moment.  It is also when Jimi Hendrix was introduced to America.  My summer of 69, the San Francisco scene had gone to crap because of meth and freeloaders.

So, musically… that is my choice. Non musically?  The Kennedy assasination.  that is if I am just a witness and can’t stop anything.  If I could go back in history and stop something, it would be to protect either Bobby Kennedy or MLK.

5) Do you have a song that never fails to cheer you up? What is it and why does it do that for you?

Well, if I am bummed, I don’t listen to music to try and cheer me up.  I just get afraid that listening to that music will later make me remember the time I was bummed.  So, I don’t to ruin it.  But, some songs that bring me pure joy and happiness are > Come on Eileen, Take your Mama (scissor sisters) and Skookian from Louis Armstrong.

6) Ok, so you wanna know what I think happened with the Kennedy thing?

I do believe Oswald was the lone shooter.  However, I do NOT believe he acted alone.  I think elements of our govt put him up to it.  I think Lyndon Johnson was involved on some level, and I believe it had to do with the Vietnam War.  Now, keep in mind… in 1963… EVERYONE wants to kill Kennedy.  The mafia want him dead, because they feel they got him elected… and his brother (as attorney general) is busting their balls.  Casto wants him dead, because he has been overtly trying to kill Castro for some time.  The war machine (er… the possible Johnson connection) wants him dead because he said he was going to draw down Vietnam and get of out of that mess.  Note that after Kennedy is killed, the war goes on another pointless 8 years.  Also, the bible belt want him dead because he is a womanizer… and beleives black folk have rights.  So, a better question is… who didn’t kill Kennedy?