Friday Fives – pets and relocation edition

If you could move anywhere in the world and be guaranteed a job, etc, where would you go?

Italy. Not Rome, mind you, but a little seaside village. A close second would Barcelona. Third place? Right here in Colorado.  That pic up there is the ‘Sagrada Familia’.  It is a church being built in Spain.  Look closely at the crazy architecture.  It’s like a combination of a cartoon and a hallucination.  They have been building it for about 100 years, and they expect it may be another 100 years.  Wanna work there?  You can.  It doesn’t pay, but if you show up they will teach you a trade because they (the family carrying on Gaudi’s work) needs all the help they can get.  That is the kind of society I want to live in.  Even though I am super atheist, I will gladly give my days and nights to see such a marvel come to life.

If you had a time machine, and could witness any one event without altering or disturbing it, what would you want to see?

Easy, the Kennedy assassination. Not necessarily to stop it, or even solve it. But, I have a LOT of questions that have never been answered sufficiently by the Warren Report. In fact, I wouldn’t mind a loop – Groundhog day style – of being there 30 minutes before it happens. I wanna do that 5 times. I could just be a ghost and not interfere. I wanna be behind that car, then I wanna be on the grassy knoll, then I wanna be in that room wit Oswald.

Which do you prefer: cats or dogs? Why?

Both I love very much. Obviously, a dog’s love and loyalty are extraordinary. I am still trying to be the person my dog thinks I am. However, there is something to be said for the independence of a cat.

I just envy their life. They serve no master but themselves. They live in the moment, and still seem to have a sense of wonder about life that the rest of us (dogs included) lose over time.

How many animals do you have?

Gosh, a lot. 2 horses, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and some fish.  I wish I could have more.  However, it is already just about impossible to leave town on vacation.

Does this dress make me look fat?

God no, you look great! Wait, what the hell are you talking about?  We were talking about traveling, and love of animals… and then this?  You are a mess!

Friday Fives

1. Guys- what’s the girliest thing you do regularly?

If you want to look at traditional societal roles, this may appear girly.  I do the laundry, cooking, and cleaning for the most part at home.  You callin’ me yella?  Oh, here is something girly and lame.  I am sitting and watching freestyle dressage on the Olympics.  What freestyle dressage is is basically horse dancing.  I told the wife if anyone asks what we did tonight tell them I was watching tank fights.

2. If people had YouTube in 1912, what do you think they’d be posting videos of?

Great question.  Mostly racist shit,  tutorials about nooses.  Am I saying everyone in 1912 was racist?  Yeah, I absolutely am.   Probably lots of videos about cars.  Cars were still largely a novelty at this time.  They believed that if you went 50 mph in a car your face would melt off.  There were no interstates, or even paved roads.  Also, frankly, their MP3 player and nav systems just sucked balls.  Airbag technology was at least 2 years off at this point.

3.  What is the most believable conspiracy theory you have heard?

That Lyndon Johnson was somehow engaged in the Kennedy assassination and that Vietnam was a part of that scenario.  See, I believe that Oswald was the lone shooter.  Science has proven that.  However, I do not believe he acted alone.  That guy was a half wit, and crazy paranoid.  No way he could have pieced that plan together.  Even if you don’t believe the Johnson part of the puzzle… which is debatable… I am 100% positive that Oswald wasn’t alone in the planning.  I would bet a thousand bucks on that fact.

I am seriously interested in the Kennedy killing, btw.  I could talk for a few hours about it with you.  Even went to Dallas and checked out Daley plaza.  Got to stand on the grassy knoll, see the depository, and even stand on the exact mark where Kennedy was killed.  The roads are still open, but it has become a creepy tourist destination.  When we were there people were selling weird Tchotchke and of course the obligatory crazy people with hand drawn signs talking about the govt and aliens.

4.  What is the worst thing anyone has said to you in your adult life?

I don’t know, that is a weird and heavy question.  Not one I care to dwell on.  Also, if I could think of one, I certainly wouldn’t tell you.  Bully.

5.  What is your NEVER AGAIN liquor and the story behind it?

Oh, I have one alright.  College story, of course, and I ain’t saying a goddamn word about it.