*** Update below
Did you know that what you watch on tv is largely controlled by one dude? Did you know that dude is not a congressman, creative type, or network executive? He is not a story writer,script supervisor, or even a camera person. One guy has made the decision that your children should see a dead body at least once a day. One guy wants your children seeing nothing but violence and stories full of horrible characters every night. Grab a clicker, I am serious. Count how many dead bodies you see in one evening of prime time tv on a single network channel. I would do it, for research purposes, but I can’t stand that shit. If David Caruso wears another pair of sunglasses in an underground dark garage, and then takes them off to deliver a hacky line… it won’t be pretty. You are gonna have another dead body on your hands. Make sure Brent is there with his children to see it.
See, what is aired on television is basically a matter of what offends, and does not offend, one person. 98% of ALL content complaints to the networks come from this one guy. Brent Bozell. Brent Bozell decides what you will see and not see. Brent Bozell determines that 63% of your evening family television content is dead bodies and crime. Brent thinks this is good and family friendly. Don’t worry, I don’t think his goal is to show your kids corpses (though leave no doubt that is the direct result of his actions). His goal is make sure NO ONE sees a booby. That is it.
Think of the content you are seeing at night. Swear words, naked butts, INSANE amounts of violence and dead bodies. Apparently, those things are fine with Brent. Remember Janet Jackson and the nipple incident. Here is a screen cap if you forgot (link NSFW, dummy) during the superbowl. The Superbowl is when grown black men beat the unholy shit out of each other for the entertainment of the white masses. Don’t worry, that violence is fine. The overt and creepy homo erotic overtones are also cool with Brent. Nope, it was that nipple. Bent Bozell’s only goal in life is to eliminate the nipple from the earth. Someone didn’t get a hug when he was a baby.
“I like nipples,” Zappa told the committee, deadpan. “I think they look good. If you are going to look at a woman’s breast, if you take the nipple off, which is the characterizing, determining factor, what you’ve got is a blob of fat there. And I think that when you’re a baby, one of the first things you get interested in is that nozzle right there, and you get to have it right in front of your face. You grow up with it, so to speak. And then you grow up in the state of Maryland and they won’t let you see that little brown thing any more.”
See, when tv shows air questionable or risqué content, they get angry letters. The understandably fear these letters. BUT… these letters don’t come from people or parents or churches or communities. They come from Brent. Strangely, they are still super duper effective. If I were a network guy, here is how the conversation would go.
Sir, remember how there was a boob accidentally briefly flashed on the screen during the Kid Rock benefit show on ABC last night?
Yes, Johnson. Did we get letters, again?
Yes, sir. Nearly 300. People are upset.
And how many of those are from Bozell and his corpse loving crew at the PTC?
Well, sir, it appears all of them.
So, no actual consumers or parents complained… just Brent… again? Not one single American voiced a concern other than Brent?
Yes sir. Shall I line the bird cages again?
Nope. Tonight, put them in the letter fired generator. I am going to use them to power my laptop to watch porn. The irony is how I actually get off.
Now, I understand you are raising your children to be good members of society. I believe you are raising them to stand up for themselves and speak for themselves. Perhaps you want them to even question authority, to a degree. Let’s get involved then. If you and your family see questionable content, get engaged. If you see something sexual, and it bothers you, write your local TV station station and tell them of your disgust. Odds are, you won’t have to, though. It has been eliminated.
Similarly, if your child is concerned by the amount of violence and bad language on tv; send two letters. One to your congressman, and the other to Brent Bozell.
Oh, I should mention his company. I was brilliantly reminded of it tonight, on Family Guy. His company is called ‘Parents Televison Council’.
*** side bar – Brent Bozell has actually made tv content FAR worse. Look at it this way – have you seen how risqué and crazy cable shows have gotten? I am not even talking about pay tv, but basic cable. Have you seen Breaking Bad, Walking Dead, or Sons of Anarchy? Those shows are truly, and deeply, fucked up. Good serialized television used to be the province of network tv… where there were controls in place. Because of Brent Bozell, all of those programs have been driven to safe harbor… cable television. It would seem the big three networks are pretty much on their way out. See, it is just as easy for your kids to surf the remote to AMC as it is to NBC.
Actually, I think I would prefer that. I would rather my little boy learn about making met rather than staring at dead people all night and watching storylines that only involve hookers. Thanks, Brent. This is your real legacy.
Update – we are not alone. Rather see boobies than bodies? I am certain your children would. Free the Nipple! Wait, that was just an article. Let’s really free the nipple!