Friday Fives – revisionist statistician edition

1.  What is something that no one looks cool doing?

Having sex.  At least, not the guys.  At least, not me. and I definitely don’t look cool having sex with guys.

2.  What is the most useful fact you know?

How to say ‘I have monkeys in my trousers’ in several languages.  Seriously

3.  What is something that you can spend a lot of money on but is just as good or maybe better if you go the cheap route?

Well, I’ll tell ya this first, and foremost.  One of the biggest truisms I have discovered in my 40 plus years on Earth – you get what you pay for.  If everyone else paid $100 for something, and you paid $25.  You didn’t get a ‘deal’.  You got a piece of shit.  Every time.  He paid $80 for dinner, and you paid $6?  Yeah, his was better.  Shoes, jackets, food, hookers, cars… you name it.  Be suspicious of anything that is too good a deal.  Here is another real life example. I was just in Asia the last few weeks.  I went to the market in Bangkok and I saw ‘Beats’ headphones.  This model costs $300 in the US.  I was thinking maybe I could get them for as much as half off… $150.  Guess how much they were?  $35.  That isn’t a deal, that is a counterfeit… AND a piece of shit.  I pulled out a pair and listened to them.  They sounded like $35 headphones.  On the upside, if you are shallow, they absolutely did look like the $300 headphones.

The one thing that doesn’t seem to follow ANY pricing logic is airfare.  Sitting on a plane to San Diego, maybe you paid $200.  The guy next to you could have paid $800, or $43.

Oooh, one more example.  Do NOT ever buy the cheap generic saran wrap.  I don’t care what market you are in, or what or who makes the generic knock off.  Save yourself the heartache and frustration and spend the extra $1 on the real shit.

4.  What’s the most mind blowing fact that you just made up?

that 5 of our every 4 Americans are overpaying for airfare.

5.  If your belly button were an actual button,  what would it do when pressed?

It starts a small structure fire to a building in Detroit.  This is not, btw, hypothetical.  No, it’s not an actual button, either, but it does start structure fires in Detroit.  Actual button?  That is some imagination you have, buster.