Friday Fives – cell phone edition


  1. When did you get your first cell phone?

1997, believe it or not.  It was big.  It was called ‘the Lingo’.  It was a revolutionary device, the first to combine a cell phone and a walkie talkie.  here is a pic, go ahead and laugh away

  1. Do you have any special ring tones, if so what are they?

only one, for the wifey.  When she calls, Guns & Roses ‘You’re Crazy’ plays.  She doesn’t know this, so don’t tell her.  She doesn’t read this, does she?  Not just any version, but the extraordinary acoustic version from Lies.  Listen here.

Go ahead, listen again.  It shows you why Guns and Roses were amazing, and could have been the best of all time.  Axl’s vocal control and range in this performance is stunning.  Slash’s work with an acoustic will melt your face.  You should really buy this disc, it’s phenomenal.  This is the one with ‘Patience’ on it, as well at the super controversial ‘One and a Million’.

Can I tell you about that Patience?  I remember the first time we met.  I was getting a ride to high school in a buddy’s pick up truck.  We all knew G&R from their hits, and ‘Lies’ had just come out.  He plays this song on cassette and tells me it is Guns and Roses.  I wouldn’t believe him until he took the cassette out and proved it to me.  There is so much range and talent in this band that comes through on this disc.  It is just a gross injustice what Axl did to the band.

Hey… weren’t we talking about cell phones?  Let’s stay focused here.

  1. Does your phone have a camera?

of course, and I love it.  It is all I use, camera wise.  For example, last week we were in San Diego for that historic Broncos game.  The wife asked if we should bring our digital camera.  I said “Why?”  It is the same or just barely more megapixels, and then I would have to upload or get developed… I couldn’t share pics in real time with friends, or easily upload to facebook and such.  I love my cell phone camera, and am consistently impressed with how good the photos are considering this is a telephone.

  1. What kind of phone do you have now?

an Iphone.  I finally did it.  I finally said “why have a faster, nicer, bigger, and considerably cheaper phone?  Why get a phone for 99 cents when I can instead pay $600?  I just got it very recently, and it was a long struggle between that and Android.  The final decision came down to iTunes.  For years I have carried my iPod and my cell phone with me everywhere.  We are mac at home, and the wifey has an iPhone… so we are all integrated now.  I am mostly very pleased with the iPhone.   EXCEPT – i want a back button.  Don’t give me that apologist bullshit about how in most apps there is a soft back button on the screen.  No, I want a back button hard wired into the phone that does nothing else.  Also, my last phone had a search button on the phone… as hardware.  Loved that, too.

  1. What carrier do you use?

Sprint.  They are the best.  Best prices, best network, best customer service, and best employees (like me)


Oh, Stevie

So, there is a big rumor that Lindsay Lohan is going to play Stevie Nicks in an upcoming biopic.  It’s a pretty solid rumor.   Know why?  It came from Lindsay Lohan.  Doesn’t seem like a bad fit.  They are both over-rated and under talented.  They both love blow.  They are both narcissists.  Fine, whatever.

Well, Stevie Nicks got wind of this and had a shit fit.  Yeah, dig this quote:

over my dead body

Why, Stevie?  What do you care?  This movie will make you cool again.  You can buy all new scarves and shit.  You might be able to do a single interview without having to talk about Lindsay (the real talent).  Wouldn’t this be good for Stevie?  Well, not in Stevie’s eyes.   Why?  Well, it appears Stevie feels Lindsay isn’t up to snuff.  Specifically >

She needs to stop doing drugs and get a grip

See, Stevie is concerned that Lindsay would be an unfair representative of her, since Lindsay has been known to dig the coke.  Stevie says Lindsay is an unfit choice because her love of drugs.  Just want to make sure we are all on the same page here.   See, Stevie used to do drugs, too.  I mean… a LOT.  More than Elton John and Slash combined.  How much coke did Stevie do?  Well, lore has it that after Stevie’s septum collapsed from too much blow, she had an assistant whose job it was to blow cocaine up her asshole.

Read that again, because I ain’t typing it again.  How do you even do that? Scratch that, I don’t want to know.  What I do want to know is how in the world Stevie loves blow?  Her own words.  She speaks of her past wistfully:

Nicks has admitted, she took so much cocaine that “you could put a big gold ring through my septum”

I mean, who cares if Stevie did blow?  It isn’t my business.  Who cares if Lohan does blow?  It is also not my business.  However, as the voice of a generation, it does become my business when Stevie pulls a Slash*.

* ‘pulling a Slash’ – last year, for likely very good reason, Slash fired Scott Weiland for having a drug problem.  That is like Hitler accusing you of being an anti-semite.  That is like Liberace telling you not to ‘get all gay about it’.  That’s like David Caruso telling you to keep your sunglasses on.