Friday Fives – lefty justice edition

What was the high school fad that, looking back makes you say “really?” 

It was the late 80s… so that whole neon/Wham thing.  We can look back and laugh, now, right?  Absofuckinglutely not.  Know what that did?  Make a whole generation of kids people homophobic.  Seriously.  Were the great and cool George Michael alive today, he would agree with me.

What is a current fad that needs to go away?

I am pretty far removed from fads.  All I do it work, and I don’t even have cable.  So, I have virtually no idea what is happening out there, except for politics.  In that sense, the term ‘fake news’ drives me crazy.  I have NO doubt there is false info going around.  Lord knows there is.  However, there is a demographic on the right who uses that for things they don’t agree with.

Trump called information about his dismal inauguration turn out ‘fake news’.  Said the turn out was historic.  Well, we have photographs.  We can count every single fucking head, and then compare that with empirical and historical data.  Then, we can say ‘actually, the evidence and data and FACTS show that this was the worst attended in ____ years.  That isn’t ‘fake news’.  It’s just ‘news you don’t care for’.

What isn’t a fad but probably should be.

Your mother?  Flashing?  Not bad flashing (guy parts), but good flashing (girl parts).  Can I even say something like that in lieu of all the Weinstein news?

What’s your “in-Fad-uation”

Besides spending 3 weeks listening to ‘goodbye yellow brick road’ over and over and over again?  Can’t think of one.  I guess it appears I am going down a BNL hole, musically.  Steven Page, who I kinda expected to fall apart (you know, after getting fired from BNL, getting busted for coke, and caught cheating on his wife… all inside like a week or two.  But, dude sounds terrific.  Can not WAIT until he gets back with the band.  and he will.  100% dead on positive, he will return.  Neither are near as good without each other.

Check this amazing video out.  If you just look at the still… it looks sad.  He is an unkempt hobo playing for invisible fans.  Poor guy probably doesn’t even know his name.  But the watch it.  He sounds AMAZING, and perfectly studio perfect.

*** ok > there is this > he seems to think he left Barenaked Ladies, because his songwriting suffered.  Um…. yeah… like a week after he got busted for coke, BNL loses a multi million dollar Disney deal… Steven quit?  Yeah, sure… to spend more time with his family?

What is the opposite of a once popular fad?

Sexual harassment?  Oh come on, lighten up, Francis!  In fact, lemme tell you a little something about why your sexual harassment classes don’t matter.  They don’t teach people WHY it is wrong… just that it is wrong.  But how can that be done?  I’ll tell you – watch the famous old PBS special ‘blue eye brown eye’  Watch as an amazing teacher DEMONSTRATES why racism is dumb, and wrong.  I don’t think the stuff we teach today teaches respect.  It’s more designed to teach you how to not get caught… or how not to get your company sued.  But why it’s wrong, and stupid, and cruel to be sexist or racist… they don’t seem to care.

 

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Friday Fives – more music because my editor is a lazy bastard

I can say that, right?  I mean… it’s with love.  Plus, it’s about music.  I can hold forth all day long about music… but you poor sucks already know that, don’t you?

Who is the worst band you’ve ever seen live and why?

Flaming Lips at Red Rocks.  They were opening for someone, I don’t remember.  I was initially very excited to see them.  Wayne Coyne is famous for his great live shows.  Red Rocks is also a magical place that has coaxed amazing performances out of mediocre bands… like Radiohead.  The Flaming Lips were horrible.  I finally realized they are built on kitsch and novelty.  They are not good songwriters, they are not good musicians, and Wayne Coyne is not a good singer.  10 or 15 minutes into their set I have to leave. I went up top to drink and look at the amazing view.

See, if you go up top, the sound is horrible… which is best for the Lips.  It means it is also the quietest up there.  Red Rocks doesn’t put speakers anywhere but the base of a stage.  Normally, this would be fine… were you not on the side of the mountain.  If you are not in the first 30 rows, the sound is terrible.  This is especially true when the wind whips around, which it tends to do on the side of a mountain.

but why were they so bad?  The music just wasn’t compelling on any level.  Not catchy, nor thoughtful.  You know those kids songs Charlie Sheen’s character wrote on 2 and a half men?  It was stuff like ‘who cut the cheese?’.  Yeah, that is Flaming Lips catalog.  Anyone who likes Flaming Lips is a hipster douchebag!  Trust me, it takes one to know one.

But… any concert at Red Rocks can’t be that bad, right?  It’s like how they say a bad day fishing is better than the best day at work?  Well, they weren’t at this show.  To close, Will Rogers never met this band.

Who is the best band you’ve seen live, and why?

Oh golly, I have see a LOT of bands, and a LOT of great bands.  It is almost impossible to pick 1.  So, I’ll pick two.  This answer goes out to Cody in Utah, a month late.  Sorry on that, bud.  James Taylor and Barenaked Ladies.

James Taylor I have been seeing since high school, possibly longer.  For one, and maybe this is a given, he sounds perfect… every time.  80s, 90s, 2000s, 2010s… every decade I have seen him he was amazing and crystal clear.  Every show gets the obvious hits.  Here is what people don’t know who haven’t seen him; he is hilarious.  He is a seriously funny and engaging guy.  I have seen comedians live, many of the great ones:  Richard Lewis, Mitch Hedberg, Lewis Black, and Brian Regan.  I have laughed that hard at every single James Taylor show.

Barenaked Ladies have always killed it live.  First time I saw them, it was the ‘Rock Spectacle’ tour, which was a very early greatest hits tour… of sorts.  I wasn’t a big fan, but I Gordon.  The internet wasn’t everywhere yet, so I hadn’t seen clips or read reviews.  After that show, I was amazed.  As everyone knows now, they are amazing live.  Funny and sweet and musical and surprisingly improvisational.

Every show becomes a very unique experience.  It becomes about your city, and current events.  I have seen them 3 or 4 times, and every show was better than the last.  I should have to mention this was all back when Steven Page was with them.  I can tell you every person who has ever seen BNL at any era with Steven Page will tell you it was the best concert they have ever seen.  I agree.

What band has your go to perfect album?

Again, SO many.  How about three?  Led Zeppelin’s Physical Graffiti,  Guns & Roses Appetite for Destruction, and Smashing Pumpkins Siamese Dream.

What are the best comebacks you know?

The question implies a witty rejoinder, a la ‘the jerk store called’.  In the spirit of the questions leading up to this, I will assume it is a poorly worded question about career comebacks in music.

I have been seeing bands for 30 years now (it starts with the Police in 1983 and Rush in 1985… and keeps going).  One day, ask me about the golden girl I saw at the Rush, and how that kinda changed my life. Hint, it involves boobs and a 13 year old boy. A lot of the acts I have seen were regarded as ‘comebacks’, but never left.  I saw Pearl Jam in 1997, and the critics were calling it their ‘comeback’ tour.  They never went anywhere, never broke up, and never stopped making music.  Same has been said for seeing Page & Plant together, James Taylor, and Paul Simon.  To qualify, we have to count a band who fully broke up before I saw them.  I think these guys broke up a lot.  Heck, they just re-broke up again last fall.  This time, I think it’s for good.  Greg must be in his 70s.

The Allman Brothers.  I first saw them in the late 80s.  They had already been broken up and reunited several times by then.  Over the years, I saw them more than any other band, except maybe the Grateful Dead.  I have seen both bands around 20 times.

When I count the Dead above, I am talking about with Jerry Garcia.  Since his passing, I have seen another 20 shows of their very many offshoot bands.  Also saw Bobby and Jerry solo while Jerry was alive.  Still go see Bobby every year.  Going to see him this summer, too.

The Allmans are a unique class of band that got better with age.  They are also a band that thrives live.  I say the same about Iron Maiden.  They not only get better, they get more popular.  Iron Maiden is amazing, and one of two bands I NEVER miss when they come to town (the other is Pearl Jam).  Sorry, since we are talking about great live bands, I had to get in a plug for Iron Maiden.

The radio is on and you are driving down the road, a song comes on. At what moment did you realize “Damn.. I’m getting old”?

HA… I remember the exact moment.  Wifey and I were driving through Northern Arizona on our bi annual trek to see movies.  We were in a car that likely only had a cassette deck, and we were sick of our tapes.  Maybe it was CDs, who knows?  We were searching the radio for anything.  Of course, when you are in the middle of nowhere, you only get county and bible shit.  Why is that?

FINALLY we find a good station.  Prince was on, from his Purple Rain heyday.  We were so pleased with ourselves until the dj came on.  “you’re listening to Northern Arizona’s golden oldies.”.  we listened for another hour.  We knew, and loved, every song.  We were OLD, man.  I swear we were only in our early 30s, if even that.  We are early 40s, now.

* for the record, Wayne did this.  It was cool and all, but clearly a distraction from shitty music.  Prince never had to do this.  Also, he was afraid to get passed back/up.  Reasonable, since Red Rocks is built into the side of a mountain.  Still, though, that woulda been cool.