The Christian Right & the KKK

Here, for the sake of full disclosure… start here.  I wrote this 8 years ago, and it becomes more accurate every day.

I always had a suspicion that Republicans were racists, and the Christian Right was behind the whole mess.  Frankly, it is a pretty obvious stereotypes.  I wanted to be better than that.  Plus,  I just never had any overt proof that the Christian Right is linked with the GOP and the KKK.  Until today, that is.

Now, the link between the ‘Christian Right’ and the KKK is laid out below, carefully.  However, you may ask what does that have to do with the GOP.  The GOP (Republican party) is very close with the Christian right.  They take orders from them.  Why?  Because the Christian right vote heavy, and they vote in lock step.  It is a big voting block that you need as a Republican.  It’s like how Dems go after minorities and unions.  Same thing.

First, allow me to clarify how I use the term ‘Christian Right’.  I am not referring to people who go to church, or love god, or read the bible.  I am referring to the dangerously anti-Christian groups of Colorado Springs that influence and write legislature.  Specifically, I am talking about Rev James Dobson and his ‘Focus on the Family’ team.

You may recognize the group ‘Focus on the Family’.  They are the group that produced Rev Haggard.  Haggard is the guy who spent his time telling kids they were going to hell if they were gay.  That was his full time job at the church… fixing gay.  They did a whole documentary on it, see here.  This guy didn’t fix gay, he just pushed suicides in young gay men.  That was until he was caught in a gay sex scandal himself.  You know, I don’t mind that he was gay.  That isn’t my business.  What IS my business is that this evil, hurtful person drove kids to suicide for being gay themselves.  Nice crew, huh?  That isn’t even what we are writing about today.  We are just establishing character of the Christian Right.  You may say “but these guys don’t represent the entire Christian community”, and I say “Bullshit!  Yes they do“.  These are the ones writing policy, picking candidates, and funding legislation in the United States.  It is all based here out of Colorado Springs.

Anyhow, the Christian Right is growing, and so is the KKK.  Coincidence?  Nope!  Is this just a lefty theory put together by a  vengeful Democrat?  Nope.  the KKK said it themselves.  Business is great in the hate business, because there is a black guy in the White House.

“Membership is booming in Colorado,” said Cole Thornton, Imperial Grand Wizard of the United Northern and Southern Knights of the KKK, which claims to be the largest KKK offshoot in the United States and is active in Colorado.

Mark Potok, SPLC’s spokesman, said, “the truth is that the radical right in the U.S. has grown enormously in the last 10 years, particularly since Obama’s election in 2008.”

So, am I saying everyone who is a Republican or Christian is a racist?  I would not say that, because I am open minded.  However, YOUR dipshit President DID say that.  Remember this gem, about Islam?  “you are either with us, or against us“.  Well, using the the syllogism of your leader, you are part and parcel of racism and hate in America. I am just saying it appears you are all on the same team, and wearing the same uniform.  Good work, righties.  Note, this is NOT a damnation of Christians.  This is a damnation of a specific militant wing of the Christian party working to control US policy.

Note, I am not even getting into the whole Vatican/Catholic priest rape cover up stuff.  This is specific to the racism of the right.

* btw, this is a perfect segueway for my thoughts on the ‘Tea Party’.  The Tea Party are racist dispshits who should all kill themselves.  Why?  Because in the last 50 years, the deficit has been raised the highest in history by Republican Presidents.  It started with Reagan, and each succeeding Republican President raised the debt ceiling higher than anyone in history had.  Each and every Republican president raised the debt ceiling. No one said a word. I had never even heard of the term ‘debt ceiling’ until President Obama, and I follow politics very closely. Not until Obama raised the debt ceiling yet again was it known to me.  See, he had to pay off two completely unfunded wars.  No president in history had cut taxes during war time.  See, wars are incredibly expensive.  Only then to pay off Presiden’t Bush’ war debt did the Tea Party rear it’s head.  Bush Jr raised the debt ceiling 8 times.  Reagan, the guy all you righties worship, raised the debt ceiling 12 times.  Yet, when this President tried it ONCE… you all flipped.  That is a double standard, and it makes every single one of you tea party asshats racist.

Allow me to clarify why I think you should kill yourself.  I do not think so because you want limited government.  That is a great cause and idea.  I don’t think you should kill yourself because you are fighting for accountability in govt spending.  What you are fighting for, on paper at least, is awesome.  My issue with you is that stuff above isn’t really what you are fighting for.  Nope.  You are fighting all of this because it is a black guy.  How is it never once did you speak up during Bush’s quarterly deficit jumps?  How come no one ever asked “how are we going to pay for these two world wars: Afghanistan and Iraq?”.  How come no one said “isn’t it weird and ironic that communist China has bankrolled our two wars for Democracy?” 

Nope.  You were silent, which makes you complicit.  Evil flourishes when good men do nothing.  You, Tea Party, did nothing.  That makes you racist, hypocritical, disingenous fucktards who should kill themselves.

You know what, the President could pass a bill saying puppies are rad, and Boehner would fight it with every fiber of his being.  That isn’t public service, or even politics.  That is obstructionism.  It is why the GOP has STILL blocked the health care bill designed specifically to assist first responders form 9/11, who are all turning up with cancer now.

** in closing, remember this.   A wise man once said “religion is like your genitalia.  You shouldn’t have it out in public, and you shouldn’t shove it down your children’s throats”

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I am already reconsidering this piece

Ok, y’all, it’s time to talk about the Senator Craig sex scandal. In brief, this creepy old senator dude from Idaho (or Iowa… one of those states) got busted soliciting gay bathroom sex at the airport. Awesome! Good leadership, Senator. Apparently this isn’t his first foray into trouble. He was implicated back in the early 80’s in s Congressional sex and cocaine scandal. Whatever. What dude wants to do on his time in his house is his business. Problem here is this: dude is married. see, you thought gay sex was frowned upon by the GOP… wait until your wife finds out.

I gotta imagine that is what landed him strollin’ for colon in the men’s room. See, my wife never lets me have crazy gay sex with strangers in my house, either.

It gets better, so stay with me. When the senator got arrested, the officer said it was simply a citation. The officer told the senator the media would not be called, so he should just plead guilty to make this go away. So, he did. This was last year.

A few weeks ago, his local newspaper found this out and released the story. The senator’s response was two fold; he held a press conference to announce:

1. he wasn’t gay

2. he was reconsidering his guilty plea

I love it when people have press conferences announcing how gay they aren’t. That sure worked for Ted Haggard and Mike Piazza. By the way, he didn’t get arrested for being gay. Being gay isn’t illegal, even for Republicans.  THIS, America, is how you have a press conference.  Make sure you stay to the end, it’s only 3 minutes long.

So, dude says he was innocent and should not have plead guilty. Then, his entire party (the one’s who hates gays) turned their back on him and told him to resign. On Saturday, he did.

See, we have all been accused of things we didn’t do. I am still angry that 20 years ago when I worked at Jack in the Box they accused me of taking $60 from the register. I never did that. Never. Sure, I stole food… but never touched the cash. My manager asked me to “just confess” and I wouldn’t be fired. I refused to confess. If I were accused to seeking gay sex, I mean crazy weird illegal airport gay sex… and I was innocent > I would fight the shit out of that.

Then, the GOP had an epiphany. Absolutely no Idahoan with half a brain would vote Republican to replace this guy. So, they begged him to stay… after he resigned. So, now the senator has decided to reconsider his resignation. Really, the only thing he should have reconsidered was trying to get laid in the airport bathroom with an undercover cop. George Michael was not able for comment on this piece, but is positively giggling somewhere.

** totally awesome update > Thursday 5:18 pm.

Apparently reading this blog, Senator Craig’s folks released this statement. “he was going to retire, anyway.” That is so perfectly childish. it’s like if you get fired from a job (which he kinda did) and you reply to the boss on the way out “I was gonna quit anyway!”… and that somehow that redeems your shame and self worth.

100% Heterosexual, I swear

Today, Reverend Ted Haggard held a press conference to tell the world that he is 100% heterosexual. Apparently, he thought you should know, and he thought you would care. He has been in ‘treatment’ now for three weeks and he is all better. He is no longer thinking of smearing butter on male prostitutes, then layering them gently with cinnamon and confectioners sugar to lick them clean off the deck off a yacht in international waters. Nope. He is totally all better.

He will no longer be meeting with male prostitutes to not do meth together. No sir. He is not wearing a banana hammock full of sedatives and cocaine to church anymore, because could be construed gay. In fact, he is probably not plowing the hershey highway this very second as I write this, because of how gay he isn’t. He probably didn’t even just take a load to the face from a homeless bum behind the church for $25, while still in his priest’s robe.

You know what? That was tasteless and inappropriate and I apologize. The purpose of this piece is to mock Haggard, not gays. In fact, using the Ward Churchill methodology*, I am gay myself.

Nope, that stuff is behind him (I said behind… tee hee) after three trying weeks of ‘therapy’. It is official, he is not gay. Remember that scene in the movie ’40 Year Old Virgin’ where the two guys riff about ‘you know how I know you are gay’? Let me tell you one sure way to tell if someone is gay: If they hold a press conference to explain that they aren’t. For example, some years ago baseball star Mike Piazza held a news conference strictly to explain he wasn’t gay. I don’t know anything about Mike Piazza… except this… dude is probably gay.

See, with over 90% of the population being not gay, being ‘straight’ is implied. It is assumed you are not gay unless: you get caught having sex with men (like Rev Haggard) or you have a press conference to tell everyone how not gay you are (like Rev Haggard).

You see, Ted, no one cares if you are gay. It really isn’t our business. The reason why we want you to suffer greatly is because you spent your life telling gay people they would die in a lake of fire. Guess what, Ted, if that were true… you better have some fireproof swim trunks. Having a press conference doesn’t make anyone any more or less gay… it just tells everyone not to believe you.

* Ward Churchill methodology –see, when Ward Churchill got nailed for abuse, plagiarism, slander, threatening his ex wife’s family with murder, and libel (amongst other things) he demanded to be respected because he was a Native American. In fact, the only thing Churchill hasn’t got caught doing is this story on child porn. Let’s just type this sentence out so it becomes google searchable > Ted Haggard & Ward Churchill in child porn scandal.

Neither of them were involved in that. He explained the reason why he wrote an essay that justified every single murder on Sept 11th, 2001 was because he understood genocide. He claimed he was a victim of the man because he was a Native American.

Turned out, he isn’t really even that. He is like 1/126th American Indian. He is a douchebag. His American Indian status is so fictional that even the native American community does not accept him. He was not accepted into AIM, in fact. If that makes him a Native American, then surely I am 1/126th gay. I mean, who doesn’t think about Johnny Depp every night just before they drop off to sleep? Not me, because that would be gay! Ok, maybe a little.

In closing, Ted Haggard is one of the worst people alive.  Not because he is gay.  That has almost nothing to do with this, really.  Also, its none of my business.  I don’t give a shit if he is gay… or if you are gay  (and you are most certainly gay!)  It’s because his life’s work to date is convincing young gay kids they are going to hell.  This is what drives the horrible and disproportionately high rate of suicide by young gay males.  He tells them to pray the gay away.  When that doesn’t work (and it doesn’t work), they are left feeling ashamed and rejected by god and society.  He may as well hand them the rope.  Actually, I can’t prove he doesn’t do that, already.