Friday Fives – revisionist statistician edition

1.  What is something that no one looks cool doing?

Having sex.  At least, not the guys.  At least, not me. and I definitely don’t look cool having sex with guys.

2.  What is the most useful fact you know?

How to say ‘I have monkeys in my trousers’ in several languages.  Seriously

3.  What is something that you can spend a lot of money on but is just as good or maybe better if you go the cheap route?

Well, I’ll tell ya this first, and foremost.  One of the biggest truisms I have discovered in my 40 plus years on Earth – you get what you pay for.  If everyone else paid $100 for something, and you paid $25.  You didn’t get a ‘deal’.  You got a piece of shit.  Every time.  He paid $80 for dinner, and you paid $6?  Yeah, his was better.  Shoes, jackets, food, hookers, cars… you name it.  Be suspicious of anything that is too good a deal.  Here is another real life example. I was just in Asia the last few weeks.  I went to the market in Bangkok and I saw ‘Beats’ headphones.  This model costs $300 in the US.  I was thinking maybe I could get them for as much as half off… $150.  Guess how much they were?  $35.  That isn’t a deal, that is a counterfeit… AND a piece of shit.  I pulled out a pair and listened to them.  They sounded like $35 headphones.  On the upside, if you are shallow, they absolutely did look like the $300 headphones.

The one thing that doesn’t seem to follow ANY pricing logic is airfare.  Sitting on a plane to San Diego, maybe you paid $200.  The guy next to you could have paid $800, or $43.

Oooh, one more example.  Do NOT ever buy the cheap generic saran wrap.  I don’t care what market you are in, or what or who makes the generic knock off.  Save yourself the heartache and frustration and spend the extra $1 on the real shit.

4.  What’s the most mind blowing fact that you just made up?

that 5 of our every 4 Americans are overpaying for airfare.

5.  If your belly button were an actual button,  what would it do when pressed?

It starts a small structure fire to a building in Detroit.  This is not, btw, hypothetical.  No, it’s not an actual button, either, but it does start structure fires in Detroit.  Actual button?  That is some imagination you have, buster.

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Friday Fives – music at the movies

What was the first DVD you ever purchased?

Now that I remember well. I bought this DVD before I owned a DVD player. It was the greatest and dumbest and most perfect movie ever: Spinal Tap

Do you still watch it?

Oh yes, I put it on in the background when I am cleaning. Just like Princess Bride, it gets better with each screening. Did you know that whole movie was improvised? I am talking about Spinal Tap, not Princess Bride. In addition, those songs were all written by those guys. The recordings are them on guitar and vocals as well.   Not that is commitment to a role.  Also, like Princess Bride, I know every word to the movie.  Watching either of those movies with me isn’t much fun.  Inconceivable, I know!

Oh, and then… the fake satire movie novelty original music. It wasn’t tied to a movie or anything. They (Michael McKean, Chris Guest, and Harry Shearer) just found after making the movie they really enjoyed each other and making music. After their second CD, they went on tour. So, at this point, Spinal Tap is a real life band… putting out original CDs and touring.

Not only was the whole movie improvised (Chris Guest is the genius behind all that, and several other movies) but when the actors did press, they only did it in character. They were just winging it, constantly. I was lucky enough to see them play live a few years ago. They did a Spinal Tap Unplugged tour. It was amazing. They not only played their hit Spinal Tap songs, but they played songs from their other amazing and improvised music movie – A Mighty Wind. They released a DVD and CD of this tour.

Keep in mind these guys are doing this truly for the love of the music. Harry Shearer is the voice of about a third of the Simpsons, including Mr Burns and Smithers. After 25 years, he is not only a millionaire, he could be a billionaire.  The actors are likely getting about 10 million a year.  Best part about voice over work, no one knows your face.  Bart Simpson is likely one of the most recognized icons on earth, yet Nancy Cartwright could be sitting 5 feet from you and you wouldn’t know it.

If you could only save five DVDs from a house fire, what would they be?

Well, music DVDs, of course. Even though they are all likely totally replaceable, I mostly just buy music concert DVDs, because I can watch them over and over again.  I very rarely feel that way about movies.

Lesse, how about these. These are amazing performances, and you should own them as well:

• U2 – Elevation live in Boston
• Simon and Garfunkle – Live in Central Park
• Bob Dylan – Don’t Look Back (remastered box set)
• America – a Tribute to Heroes (out of print now)
• Smashing Pumpkins – Vieuphoria
• Grateful Dead – Trucking up to Buffalo (bonus, I was at this show)
• Eric Clapton – Crossroads 2004 Festival  > Dallas (bonus, I was at this show, too)

*** Yes, I understand that was more than five.  What are you, a cop all the sudden?

Have you purchased any Blu Ray discs or do you just rent now?

Oh yes, I only buy Blu Ray now. However, I didn’t go back and re-buy my collection to upgrade from DVD to Blu Ray. When I got my Blu Ray player, though, at that point I began only buying Blu Ray going forward. The best thing about my Blu Ray player is that it is SO much more. It has the wireless internet stuff. So, it is also my Roku box, my Pandora music player, my Amazon pay per view movie player… all of that. Best $99 I have ever spent.

What is the jewel of your disc collection?

I have some really cool bootleg Todd Snider DVD shows, from this wonderful guy. Todd Snider is awesome. Here, just watch this. If you buy a CD of his, make SURE it is a live one. He is seriously more famous for telling his stories as he is for his songs.

 

Friday Fives – a suggestible edition

Recommend one:

1. Book

Easy – Alice in Wonderland. Deeper choice – Lamb, the Gospel according to Biff * detailed reviews of both in the ‘what I am reading‘ section.  Do a control F, there is likely about 5 different books on Alice on there from the last 6 or 7 years.

2. Hobby, personal pursuit

Easy – guitar      deeper choice – learning to sing at age 42

3. Song

Easy – Tangled up in Blue   deeper choice – Lake Marie (John Prine)  Deeper still?  Too soon to Tell – Todd Snider

4. Web Site

Easy – Fark.com     deeper choice – the Oatmeal

5. Something of your choosing (ie- author, video game, food, movie, etc).

Easy – fantasy football.  It gives me a reason to watch every football game.  I am in two leagues right now. One is college buddies and the other is just family.  The college one has Peyton Manning for my QB.  however, in my family one, I am playing against my nephew this weekend and HE has Peyton Manning.  So, I will be a bit conflicted this weekend.

deeper choice – home brewing.  It’s fun, and very satisfying.  It’s empowering getting drunk off your own stew.  Plus, it feels like you are getting one over on the ‘man’.  Plus, I get to hear this for almost every pint poured:  you made this?  It’s amazing!