Friday Fives – grownup-ness edition

What was your worst attempt at hitting on someone that actually worked?

Lets say I had a great move or line.  Let’s say it’s so great it helped me bag the love of my life.  Now why I would give that away?

What is the most shitty thing about becoming an adult?

The in-escapability of work.  You have to work.  Always, for the rest of your life.  It’s not that I don’t like work, or that I am looking for a way out.  Sometimes, though, it just feels like a trap.

Especially since I have an awesome life.  Great job, great home, great car.  Truly, I live the American dream.  All that came from work, and to keep it means I will work every day for the rest of my life.

However, all of this has taught me the value of work.  I used to work as a fraud investigator.  You would be amazed how hard people work to not work.  Meaning, I watching criminals who were incredibly smart and worked incredibly hard to work around the social contract to make money… to never have to ‘work’.  Yet, these people are working crazy hard… AND having to look over their shoulders and will eventually lose it all.  If these guys worked half as hard at a legitimate job, they could have been very successful.

Conan and Andy have a bit: What is a sentence never spoken before.  What could you contribute?

Well, Apple, you sure made that process easy and transparent

You just won $200 million in the lottery.  Now what?

Lawyer up.

What’s an irrational fear you’ve had since childhood that you still haven’t grown out of as an adult?

I think all my fears are rational.  Well, spiders.  I fear and dislike spiders more than is probably necessary.

Friday Fives – work edition

1.  How is your day so far? 

good, thanks for asking.  Busy, but no more so than any other work day.  I took lunch and went to play guitars at Guitar Center.  That always cheers me up and kills time.  It’s Friday as you read this, but its not my Friday.  I work Saturdays.

2.  Let’s talk about cursing.  Do you curse? What’s your favorite curse word/phrase? 

Yes I do.  I am not proud of it, and always working to improve that aspect.  My favorite curse words are two I invented.  The first one is ‘goddamnitsomuch’.  It is just satisfying.  Now I have Sam and Renee using it too, which tickles me to no end.  The other one is ‘dunk’.  I invented it for practical reasons, and I will not tell you what it means.  It is something I can scream in traffic or polite company and no one knows my horrible vile thoughts.

3.  Job speak. Recently, we asked how to describe your job to a 5 year old. Now, what is your job and how can others make it easier? 

I help people who have problems with their telephones.  If my job was easier, they wouldn’t need me.  So, I do not seek for that to happen.  But, again, thank you for asking.  Very considerate of you.

I have a desk job.  I call myself a ‘cubicle monkey’.  I know so many people who say “I could never ever be chained to a desk all day.  That is too depressing!”.  I fully see why people would think that, but I don’t mind at all.  It is always warm and safe and dry.  I have a really nice comfy chair, and access to all the coffee I can drink.  I listen to my pandora and help people out.  That is not a bad way to pass the days.  I sure hope not, since I have been here for 16 years.  The company is very good to me.

4.  What is the most f@#-up thing to happen at your office/job? 

probably not much different from what everyone deals with at work.  They say “it’s only work if you’d rather be somewhere else”.  While I would generally rather be at home watching action movies, I am not unhappy at work.  I enjoy going to work.  I don’t enjoy getting out of bed, but I love my drive it.  It’s 35 minutes I use to listen to books on tape about history.  plus, I live out in the country, so my drive to work is rolling hills, no traffic, and watching out for deer.

When people find out where I live (which is out by Elizabeth), they wonder how I can handle such a drive.  Then I probe them and find out their drive is the same.  It’s 30 minutes.  BUT… their time is spent in traffic on i-25 looking at tail lights.  I easily manager an average speed of 45 mph the whole way.

5.  What is the dumbest customer complaint you have heard?

a customer today posted he lost his million dollar company because of bad phone service.  he said we were irresponsible, and cost all those people their jobs.  I was befuddled.  if you have a million dollar business… or even a $75 business… wouldn’t you have a couple $25 a month land lines?