The Lono Travel Thai-aries® – Chinese people eat the weirdest shit… and other observations.

When we had started, I asked you to start here. I talked about sweeping generalization, and uninformed opinions. That is pretty much what this story is about. I like to call this “Chinese people eat the weirdest shit’. That is a strong statement, especially from someone who has never been to China. I am, however, very observant. In our travels across Southeast Asia, we went to a ton of markets. To generalize, again, people in Southeast Asia don’t go to supermarkets. They go to markets, which are outdoor, stall based systems. They are generally covered, and take up roughly a parking lot.

None of these things are judgements.  They are observations.

The meat we got in Cambodia had hair on it, still attached. I don’t even know what animal it was. Not sure I wanted to know. We didn’t want to seem discourteous. So, we smiled graciously as we forced down the hairy knuckles of lord knows what.

Look at this.  This was in the Chinese gift shop in Cambodia.  These are octopus flavored thingies.  NOTE:  It is not actual octopus.  It’s corn puffs, I think (think cheetos, here).  It is just octopus flavored.  Also, this bag is HUGE. It was over three feet tall, and came up over my knees.  Why the hell would you buy something that bit and unwieldy in an airport?   Well, I guess this octopus is duty free!  Here is the two things you hear about ALL Chinese food.

octopus treatsFor the purpose of journalistic integrity (which, at the end of the day… is really why you come here) this was also not found in China.  It was in the airport in Cambodia.  In the Chinese gift shop.  Is that enough to peg a quarter of the earth’s population as bunch  giraffe anus eaters?  It’s good enough for me!

Thailand, by comparison, is rich and stable. In Thailand, the local people eat exactly what you eat, and exactly what you think they eat. They are eating Pad Thai, and all that. We aren’t here to talk about that, though. When you look over a Thai person’s shoulders at what they are eating, it looks delicious.  Every time.  We are here to talk about Chinese food, but I thought that ramp up was pertinent. Whenever we got to really strange looking for, it was invariably the Chinese food section. See, Chinese People are not eating sweet and sour chicken. People in Mexico aren’t eating chimichangas.  People in China are, apparently, eating dried giraffe rectums.

  • It’s good luck
  • Children love it

Chinese people are CRAZY about luck. Yes, that is a sweeping generalization, but I dare you to defy me. The funny thing, to me at least, was the weirder food got, the more I would hear those two key phrases. Apparently, they (Chinese) love octopus. I say ‘apparently’ because we didn’t see much octopus, but everything was octopus flavored.

I am going to spare you the pictures from the Chinese market. Well, here is one. This is a bucket of snakes. Live snakes. Not pets. Food. Ok, in closing… one more thing about the Chinese (in Thailand… the Chinese in Thailand. I don’t know dick about China, never been there.) ******

20141104_085301Lastly, look at this.  Take a look at the visual pollution. I thought this was fascinating. I tried to explain it to people, but it was tough to articulate. The pictures tell the story. These two pics were taken less than a mile apart. The top is just a street in Bangkok. The bottom is a street in Bangkok in Chinatown.

20141104_083438Dazzlingly. all of these photos were taken by me on my telephone.  Ain’t technology grand?  Above… not Chinatown.  Below… Chinatown.  These were taken blocks away from each other… both commercial business districts.

20141101_200811Now, leave me alone. I have to get back to my lucky giraffe rectum lollipops.  Really, they grow on you.

** Do we say that? We should!

***** Listen > I know eating snakes isn’t that big of a deal.  In fact, pretty much everyone eats snakes.  Most of the photos I took of the disgusting food just look like amorphous blobs.  Plus, the lighting was always bad.  It wasn’t just gross animals.  Oh no, it was always the grosest part of each animal.  Perhaps they are just feeding their kids the nasty shit they don’t want to eat.  Then, just tell the kids its good and lucky.  I mean… does that work?  If it does, BRILLIANT!

Friday Fives – podcast edition

Do you listen to podcasts? If not, why not.

Oh man, this is great.  I did not pick these question, but this is my wheelhouse.  I am crazy for Podcasts.  Yes, I listen to podcasts daily.  Many.  I think we will attack that more below.

What are your favorite podcasts?

Adam Carolla, Car Talk, This American Life, Fitzdog Radio, WTF, Stuff you Should Know, Mohr Stories.  I listen to all of these every week.  Generally speaking, which ones I listen to depend on the guests.  Except This American Life.  They don’t have guests, and I NEVER miss that show.  It is the best hour of radio and storytelling imaginable.  And, these are all free.  And uncensored.

Any podcasts to ignore?

Sure, probably thousands.  At this point, Podcasts are like magazines.  You can find one for any interest.  Anyone on earth with a computer and an internet connection can have their own podcast.  Do you like knitting blankets for only calico cats using Peruvian wool, but a Persian weave?  Yeah, I bet there is a podcast for that.  Don’t ask me how I know… just trust me.

For the most part, all the podcasts mentioned above are entertainment.  If you are looking for thinky, cerebral stuff, try ‘RadioLab‘.  These guys are great, it’s just a little too dry for my tastes.  Another great one?  Ted talks.   Do you know about Ted talks?  Well, click here and learn.  They too have an awesome and free podcasts of these talks.

Will the podcast world take over radio?

For me, it absolutely has.  I gave up on rock radio about ten years ago.  I just couldn’t listen to the same shit over and over again.  So, I listened to my cd’s or books on tape.   Once podcasts came around, I was hooked.  I have a 35 minute drive each way to work.  This is valuable time.  Too valuable to spend listening to music, even though I have a seriously bad ass stereo system.

Two years ago, I busted my radio antenna and still haven’t fixed it.  You get content completely uncensored by any corporations.  Would you like a podcast about a guy who says “fuck my dog” over and over again for an hour every week?  That probably exists, and it’s legal.

Who/What subject would make a good podcast?

Interesting people talking freely.  It is that simple, and that is what is most compelling to me.  Would you like to have Adam Carolla and Seth McFarland chatting in your living room?  Telling jokes and downing booze?  Discussing just whatever comes to mind?  That is a podcast.  It makes my drive super enjoyable.  I don’t know why I love good conversation so much, but I really do value it.  It isn’t just that it is uncensored… it is the length of time.  You can’t get to know someone from 3 minutes on Conan.  Listening to them for an hour, though, gives you a much better feel for these people.

If you told 16 year old me “Hey, when you are 40, you will have a big ass truck with an amazing stereo system.  You will have access to every piece of music you own in that truck.  You will also drive a few hundred miles a week.  Also, you will only use this amazing stereo to listen to talk radio.” – well I would be an upset 16 year old.

Should I listen to a podcast?  What’s so great?

The beauty of podcasts is not just the entertainment, which is considerable, it is that I learn at the same time.  Not too mention, they are free and easy.  Here is how easy.  If you are Apple, use iTunes, if you are Android use any free app.  The podcasts are delivered to your phone automatically, and updated automatically.  You don’t have to do anything.  You can also see who the guest is on each show.  For Carolla, This American Life, and Car Talk, I listen regardless.  For Jay Mohr (Mohr Stories), Greg Fitzsimmons (Fitzdog radio) and Mark Maron (WTF) I only listen if I am interested in the guest.

There are other notable ones, too.  Just about every NPR show is available via podcast.  Sound boring?  Then you are dumb.  How about Teri Gross chatting with Tom Waits for an hour.  Anything better than that?  No sir.

NPR (national public radio) calls these ‘driveway moments’.  It means you are listening to a piece on your drive home.  You get home, but the story isn’t over.  It is so compelling you sit in your driveway to finish the story.  It is a very real phenomenon for aging rockers like myself who listen to talk radio on their $1200 radio.

Well, the podcast is even better… because you can simply pause the story until you are back in the car.  You don’t even need the internet to listen to the podcasts.  You need it to get them, but you can download them at home and have them queued up to listen to on your next drive, even if you won’t be in cell phone coverage.

The content ranges dramatically.  For example, Carolla’s show (the most downloaded podcast officially per Guinness book) is very formatted.  He has intros, guests, bits, a news segment… it is just like a one hour talk show, but with no commercials and no editors and no standards and practices legal team telling you not to do rape jokes.

Where do I begin?

Car Talk is just what it sounds like.  It is a radio call in show where two brilliant and hilarious old Italian guys diagnose car problems over the phone.  They have been on the air on NPR for 20 years, but recently the technology made it also available to podcasts.  I can’t say enough good things about Car Talk.  You learn a ton about cars, and it is incredibly entertaining.

For a starter kit, do this.  Find this episode of “This American Life”.  This specific favorite of mine is called ‘the greatest answering machine message of all time’.  That is a hell of a teaser, isn’t it?  Well, it pays off.  This was a legendary voice mail that circulated around a college campus for years.  This was back when they were on those micro-cassettes.  So, the staff hears the story.  They track down the message for us, and play it.  It really is that great.  Then, because they are all journalists at This American Life, they track down all the principal figures in the story.  Who left the message, who it was left for, and the story about it.

It makes the best 20 minutes of radio you can imagine. Though the link shows the program is an hour, you only need to listen to the first 20 minutes. Here is a link.

Sorry, that got too long and rambly.  As you can see, though, I am very passionate about podcasts.  So, when I got these questions from my editor this afternoon, I got all bubbly.

* in closing, Podcasts are being threatened.  There is a group of patent trolls who are extorting all the big podcasters and demanding a cut.  A group of businessmen bought some obsolete patent about sequencing radio programs, or something like that.  They wrote Adam Carolla a letter demanding 3 million bucks.  Carolla, quite wonderfully, told them to suck it.  Now he is raising funds for all his legal defense.  This is literally to protect the future of all podcasts.  You can help here.

** I don’t point out I have a $1200 stereo to tell you I am better than you and have nicer stuff (even though I am, and I do :)) – I point it out because since all I do is listen to variations on talk radio, any $40 stereo from Wal Mart would do the trick.  My subwoofer gets no work out these days, it’s quite sad.