Friday Fives

1.  When do you get up?

as late as possible.  can’t stand mornings.  don’t even care for you asking me that question.  On school days, the alarm goes off at 7 and I am moving around 7:45 am.  On weekends, around ten-ish if I can.

2.  Do you pout and preen like cheap tarts in a red light street?

outstanding Police reference, first and foremost.  The Police was my very first rock concert… when I was ten.  I am fine with each and every red light.  After about 4 in a row, though, I start to get victimy.
3.  Does it taste like chicken?

what?  I know what you want.  You want me to make a ‘your mother’ joke, am I am simply above it.  Grow up, seriously.

4.  This is a colon : and this is a semi-colon ; – what’s next?

you know, I have always struggled with this.  I have a friggin’ English degree, and I just finally learned it a few years ago.  Here is the deal; anything after the semi-colon should be something that stands on its own as a sentence.  A colon (:) is generally used for lists.  At list, by me.
5.  What do you keep in your picinick basket, boo boo?

your mother, and a bottle of wine.


Friday Fives

Friday hodge podge.


Where is your favorite place to eat breakfast.

I don’t like breakfast.   I don’t even like the question.  Just the very mention of mornings frankly angers me.  I will tell you this, it would involve bacon.

What is your favorite place to get stinkin’ drunk

besides safe at home > My brothers bar.  One of America’s most famous and old and literary bars.  Yet, you have to know where it is.  It has no signs of any kind.   I know that sounds dramatic, but if you are in… you know.  * that picture above.  Taken from my blackberry about a month ago for no good reason.  Fortunately, I had it sitting there, so it segued quite nicely… don’t you think?

‘t What do you do to ask for forgiveness (see above)

buy flowers, and be sincere about not doing it again.  most importantly… not doing it again.  I have been married for 12 plus years, I am good at this stuff.

What is your absolute, must have on hand condiment?

your mother

Do you follow celebrity gossip?  Who gets your attention.

first off, I am above all of this.  I don’t participate in your bullshit bourgeois patriarchal celebrity culture.  Second, I never miss TMZ and I read the enquirer every week in the bath.  Yeah, I know.  I suck.  On an unrelated note, doesn’t Harvey look great for being 58?  Seriously, it’s kinda creepy how old he is.  Mostly, I wonder why Woody Harrelson goes apeshit around all paparazzi.  Isn’t weed supposed to mellow you out?

I’m a lawyer!

Friday Fives

Do you read the comics ?  What is your favorite?

 Currently?   No.  If I do, I never miss John McPherson’s ‘Close to Home’.   However, I am old complainey guy when it comes to comics.  The golden age is gone.  Calvin & Hobbes, Bloom County, the Far Side… all gone.   What do we have left, Mary Worth?

Do you have a favorite concert video?


Oh man, lots.  That is actually all I buy on DVD.  The best sound is the Rush in Rio set, the best performance is the acoustic set on the Led Zeppelin set, and for all around greatness, U2’s Elevation.  My favorite bands are Pearl Jam and Smashing Pumpkins, but neither has a definitive live experience DVD.   Oh, and there are a few awesome Grateful Dead ones.  Also, some totally shitty Grateful Dead one’s.   ‘Truckin’ up to Buffalo’ is the best overall, for both setlist… and audio quality.

 I am sipping on a nice California Sangiovese.  Do you have a good wine story?


Not really.  The wife and I did the whole wine country tour… before ‘Sideways’.  It was great.  Hoppin’ around Northern California drinking free wine and talking to all these mom and pop businesses finally living their passion.  That was a great experience.

It’s baseball season and this year I am obsessed with Rockies telecasts.  Do you have a interest that ought to be a national past time?


Well, anything is better than watching baseball.  Having my scrotum waxed is more entertaining than watching baseball on TV.  So, what is my passion?  NFL.

When was the last time you played Scrabble or another board game?


Mexico.  We have a little travel scrabble set that zips up into a tiny little suitcase that we take when we fly.  So, we sat on the beach a lot drinking Coronas and playing scrabble.  She usually beats me.