What do people do after an orgy?

I was kinda hoping you would know.  I sadly have no idea.  Not even a funny joke… like “I take your sister and your mom back home”.  Ok, I am actually pretty pleased with that joke.  I don’t have any experience here, not even a threesome for me.  I did score a pair of sisters, but not the same night.  I’d say that’s the most interesting sex story I have.  Lemme tell you, college was GREAT for sex!!! We all know wonderful and strong adults who have gone to school as adults to get degrees.  They do this while balancing jobs and kids and such.  It’s a shame they didn’t get the college experience.  To me, my college years had nothing to do with education (though I did accidentally get one).  it was about being away from home, being on your own… and SO much sex.  A girl doesn’t want to give it away in high school, or let it be known… she would be branded a ‘slut’.  But once they hit college, they are women, and on their own.  

Sorry I’m so lame on the wild sex stories, though.

What’s your go-to when you run out of toilet paper?

kleenex/puffs.  Because of whatever sinus things I have, I have a puffs plus in my pocket at all times.  If you have ever seen me, or ever see me in the future… anywhere… I have a tissues in my pocket.  BUT SINCE YOU ASKED… I recently had a very real struggle of this issue.  I mean, it happened THIS week.  Was at a gas station while out running errands, far from home.  Had to poo, bad.  In the middle of the deed, it appears there is no TP left.  I’m not in a condition to step out and grab some napkins.  This is another area where always having a tissue on my helps.  But this day I did not.

I was stuck, I needed to clean, there was positively no TP, or anything to wipe with.  I needed to wipe, it wasn’t exactly a clean break.  I considered taking off my boxers, wiping with those, and then throwing them away.  I keep an extra pair of clean boxers in my truck at all times for things like this.  I’m desperate now.  There is the garbage over there, maybe that will have something I can use to wipe.  Don’t say ‘gross’, or ‘I would never do that’.  Trust me.  I’ve been in Thailand where I had to shit in a hole and wipe my ass with my hand and a bucket of water nearby.  You learn to improvise.  So, I looked in the trash and saw a ton of TP that looked like it hadn’t been used.  Prolly someone used it to line the seat.  I used it, it was clean and worked perfectly.  Crisis averted.  There was a line of people waiting to use the bathroom after me.  I let them know there was no TP, and I told the lady at the counter.  

What are you most insecure about your body and why?

Same as yours, as everyone’s… my belly.  I am about 15 pounds lighter than I was about 2 or 3 years ago, but still have a belly.

 What is a newish lifehack you have discovered  that has changed your life?

Wait…  didn’t this start off about orgies?  Here is a lifehack that is newish I am looking for… someone get me into an orgy, already!

What’s the most misunderstood book that has affected your life?

Dianetics.  Just kidding, but I do have a copy of it.  It’s absurd, it (and he) started as a science fiction book.  He wrote a LOT of science fiction. But then later decided to monetize it and make it all a religion.  I’ve read a ton of books by ex Scientologists… including 2 different books from David Miscavige’s own family.  He is the current leader of Scientology every since L Ron left his mortal thetans behind.  His own family has NOTHING good to say about him.  Ask his dad, or his sister.  Both of whom had to escape.  Not leave… but escape!  One does not leave Scientology.  Oh no.  I vaguely recall reading the dad’s escape story… full prison break.  The compound had razor wire, armed guards, watchtowers… the works.  He snuck out in a trunk, I believe. For further reading about the very scary organization – who is actually listed a real and protected and tax exempt religion – I recommend this site. 

Oh, and people are STILL looking for Shelly, it’s been about 25 years since anyone has seen her.  But I am very very passionate about books, so let’s get serious about books and movements and cool literature.

Of course there is Alice in Wonderland, about opening your mind and accepting weird things and moving forward and always being polite.  But I’ve been ranting about the joys of that book for 30 years.  Here is a new book I read a year or two ago, and it’s the ‘Big Fish’ of books.  Damn, that is the name.. Something like the Wolf and the Coyote and the Little Boy.***  You can read it in an hour.  It made me cry.  Ever since then, I keep an extra copy of this book to go through someone who is having a really rough time.  They made a movie out of it, a cartoon I think.  I refuse to see it because the book is SO incredibly and magically perfect that I won’t sully its impact by watching someone else’s interpretation.

 

*** editors note to self, it’s called ‘The Boy, the Mole, the Fox, and the Horse’.