Friday Fives – abridge your audiobooks, please for the love of all that is good!

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What is the TL;DR of your favorite book?

First, a translation of my hipster douchebag editor.  TLDR means ‘too long, didn’t read’.  The question is kind of contradictory.  If the book was too long to read, then I didn’t finish it.  So, I can’t call it a favorite.  My greatest struggle was the Great Gatsby.  I know it is a short book, and I tried to read it SO many times.  Thing is, we have the opening and it’s a compelling 20 pages.  Then, nothing happens for about 120 pages.  Then, everything comes unraveled and goes to shit in the last few pages.  I have to confess the only way I finished the story was by watching the movie.

here is what I skip on nearly every autobiography (90% of what I read these days is autobiographies). The first 3 to 5 chapters of every auto-biography.  They inevitably begin with childhood.  Then, you get 30 pages of that back story.  I skip it every time.  Here is a novel approach… put that at the end.  See, right now, I am not interested in your childhood.  I want to know about your successes ad battles and moments that made you great.  Once we have established that, and you and I now have the deep relationship.  NOW… I might be interested in your backstory and formative experiences.

You know how the Oscars start with best supporting actor and actress?  It is a BIG category… and they put it right up front.  Why?  Otherwise, everyone would skip the first 3 hours and just watch the last half of an hour.

Movies have learned this, too.  Generally, they start you in present day and get you hooked with a very compelling narrative.  THEN… and only then, do they weave in the backstory.  Movies do this, but books don’t.  You know how Guns & Roses double album could (and should) have been made just a single great CD?  You know how it sold horribly because it was sold as two separate albums (as opposed to a double disc single release package)?  That is how I feel about a lot of these books.

As for this ‘too long to read’… that goes for a LOT of books.  Never read Moby Dick, or Crime and Punishment, or 100 years of solitude.  I do not doubt these are amazing books.  But, I don’t have a year to set to read (or listen) to them.  I have a great book in the bathroom I am reading, about the top recruiter for the KGB during the cold war.  It’s not about him, it is BY him.  I read maybe a 2 pages a day.  Had I that book on audiobook, I would have been done with it 3 months ago.   Problem is, it isn’t available on audiobook.

Do you listen to Audio books? If so, why?

Always.   Every waking minute.  If I am not driving, I am listening to them in earbuds while doing chores around the house.  I love to read, but don’t have the downtime at home.  What I do have tons of time doing is driving.  I go through about 2 books a month, and it is awesome.  I use audible, which is quite good.  Not great, though, because they don’t have an unlimited option.  You only get 1 book a month.

why?  Because I am always in my car, and I am sick of rock radio playing the same songs every 45 minutes.  My truck antenna broke about 5 years ago, so the radio doesn’t even work.  never bothered to fix it.

To supplement that, though, I also use my library.  They rent audiobooks, virtually.  What I mean by that is I never step foot in a library.  I have an app on my phone (called Overdrive… it’s free) and borrow books through there.  Here is what it looks like on your phone.

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Bonus insider info – you can have multiple library accounts on there.  Plus, you no longer have to live in a district to be a library member.  It’s a state thing.  Perhaps you live in Elbert County, like me.  Their library is 3 bibles, and some old Haynes manuals for 80’s Camaros.   I don’t even think they are online.  BUT… I also have a library card through Douglas County.  This one is money, because Douglas county is RICH.  Specifically, the 7th richest county in America.  It’s just upper middle class white folk, like me.  No drama, and no crime.  So, the city spends their money on things like dope ass libraries.

Now, did I just imply Douglas County is safe because it’s all white?  No, I did not.  You did, however, infer it.  That makes you the racists, asshole!  I rant more about this on my ‘what I am reading’ tab… but you really MUST get into books on tape and podcasts.  Here is some rough numbers I have put together on the topic

How much time do you spend in your car?  I’ll tell you.  The average driver does 12,000 to 15,000 miles a year.  Let’s say because of commuting and traffic you average 30 mph.  If I did my math right, that is 500 hours a year you spend in your car.  The average audio book is between 8 – 10 hours.  Using the high side, for illustrative purposes… that is 62 books you could have listened to last year.  Educate yourself, and entertain yourself.  Stop listening to Clear Channel I heart Radio… it’s the same company, btw.  Clear Channel just changed their name after some pretty visible lawsuits busting them for payola, censorship, market manipulation… bla bla bla, and all six songs they play.

so the question should be framed, why aren’t you consuming books on tape?  Enjoy your drive, learn stuff, be entertained… all at the same time.  Secret bonus – ALWAYS look for a book to be read by its author.

Who should definitely NOT be narrating children’s books?

Ozzy.  I have read a couple books by Ozzy.  Almost always, autobiographies are read by their author.  You don’t want Ozzy reading.  He is unintelligent.  As was the late Doctor Hunter S Thompson.  Both have been subjected to subtitles when they are on programs.

WAIT… hold on.  I have an addition and complaint about audiobooks.  Please offer more abridged options.  When I started getting heavy into books on tape, they were universally about 6 to 8 hours.  Now, they range around 20.  I just finished ‘Hellhound on his Trail’ about the assassination Dr King and the subsequent fugitive hunt for James Earl Ray.  I skipped 6 hours of that book, and missed nothing.  The author literally explained what Ray did each and every day he was on the run.  What he read, what he hate.  That was it… for 6 hours.  While I fully get many folks may want that must exposition, why not offer a 6 hour edition?  You already paid for the recording, just cut it down.  Plus, that kind of minutiae… the author couldn’t have known 50 years later.  So, it is just speculation.

I guess if I read listened to Steven King books, I would want them all narrated by James Earle Jones.

What would be some good books for a 12 or 13 year old boy could pickup and then learn to love to read? 

 Glad you asked!  Nothing that school gives you.  Anything that is a ‘newbury award winner’ is a boring and sanitized piece of boringness.  The books I was given made me HATE reading.  Yeah, go ahead and give a 12 year old kid the Scarlet Letter.  There is nothing more a young fertile and bored and horny mind wants to read than 300 pages of Victorian era repression and gender roles in 18 century England.  No one cares.  I have a literature degree and I don’t care.

So… I HATED reading when I was a kid, and yet ended up with a literature degree.  How, and why?  All credit goes to Kermit.  He taught me books can be amazing and violent and thoughtful and sexual and funny.  In high school, he turned me on to Hunter Thompson, Henry Miller, and Jack Kerouac.

Then, he turned me on to Salvador Dali and the Beatles.  Of course, I knew the poppy radio Beatles… sterilized music from my parent’s generation.   Oh no, he said… listen to this.  He fed me Sgt Peppers and the White Album.

Maybe 12 is a bit young, but who cares.  If you want to show books can be great and beautiful and dangerous.  Someone that age is just learning to test the bounds of society.  Let’s show them reading can be great.  With that said:

  • Alice in Wonderland, my favorite book in the whole world
  • Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas- Hunter Thompson
  • On the Road – Jack Kerouac

Now… when they are 16, you can give them some Henry Miller, or Jim Carrol.  But, 12 is too young for that.  The funny thing is this, if these guys weren’t writers, or white… they would all be in jail.  They should be in jail.  This is why I would like to go into jails and do an English program.  Long as I can choose the books.  I would say “the difference between these guys and you… is they wrote about it.  And didn’t get caught.  Reading an Hunter Thompson book is more like reading a rap sheet of felonies.  But if you write about it, well, you aren’t a criminal… you are a cultural hero!

What’s the most disturbing book you’ve ever read?

Gotta go with Alice in Wonderland.  Sure, it is a ‘kids’ book.  But, its also a really fucked up and psychedelic tale.  One of the big reasons of why I LOVE this book is how Alice handles everything.  She never freaks out, and is never mad.  She is always polite, and utterly open to the weirdness that unfolds around her.  Did you know it is not polite to eat animals you have been introduced to?  Alice does, and she handles it beautifully.  She is not a pushover, either.  She takes on the Red Queen, and was he first to ever do so.  She is a modern day heroin and role model for all time.

That being said, I don’t read horror or thrillers.  But, an honorary good mention goes to ‘June 1941 -Hitler and Stalin’.   This story concentrates on the last few days before Hitler invades Russia in WW2.  Stalin WILDLY mis-judged Hitler.  Stalin’s plan was that he and Hitler would carve up the earth after the war.  Stalin assumed he and Hitler were totally good.  He had ZERO fear (or preparation, it turns out) to defend against Germany.  Stalin’s generals and spies warned him that Germany was amassing at the Russian border for an attack.  Even up to the night before, when the attack was imminent, Stalin that it would just a show for England and the allies.  That is what a raging narcissist Stalin was.  He thought ‘no one would dare attack us.  I am Stalin.’  It’s a pretty good story of megalomania.

It turned out to be a very good thing, though.  By attacking Russia, Germany completely over extended themselves.  There is just too much land to fight.  Plus, doofus Hitler attacked in Winter.  His army was not prepared for the bitter ice cold.  In short, it’s why Hitler was unable to take over the Earth.  Had he made a pact with Stalin, as Stalin assumed he would… it probably would have worked.

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Let’s play catch throw

What’s better than that?  A stock photo of a father and son playing throw.  You were thinking ‘catch’, weren’t you?  Turns out your memories were wrong.  You were never playing catch, you were playing ‘throw’.  Besides, I am pretty sure the NFL or Gene Simmons own the word ‘catch’.

How do I know you weren’t playing ‘catch’?  Or… how do I know what the difference is?  Well… when your pops threw you the ball, you thought that part was over when the ball was in your hands, didn’t you?  In the old parlance, you thought that you had ‘caught’ it.  You magnificent naïve bastard.

Once you had the ball in your hand… once you ‘caught’ it… did you

  • Turn upfield?
  • Demonstrate possession?
  • Commit a further act of football?
  • Turn into an active runner?
  • Have the ball clearly long enough to become an active runner?

all you had was the ball in your hands.  That is a step, it is step 1 of 342 steps required to make a catch® in the NFL.   Since we truly don’t know what a catch is… what shall we call such a play in its infancy?  Like… what do we call a catch before the lawyers come in and adjudicated its catchiness?  To simplify, let’s call it a ‘grab’.  Someone threw you the ball, its in your hands… it’s a ‘grab’ (for this discussion only)

Now, let’s break it down… each one of the above.  Did you ‘turn upfield’?  What the hell does that mean?  It means after you took the ball, did you turn and begin running toward your endzone?

Did you Demonstrate possession?  Do you have any historic, dated, selfies of you and the ball?  Do you have receipts throwing at least three consecutive payments on said football?  Did you run up to the ref, bonk him in the nose gently with the football, and then run off?  Sure, the latter will get you kicked out of the game.  However… loophole… for them to accuse you of assault, they have to admit you possessed the ball.  Lastly, is your name in the stitching?

Did you commit a ‘further act of football‘?  I shit you not, that was the legal verbiage.

Then it wasn’t a catch, dummy.  There are just SOME of the rules of ‘what constitutes a catch’.  When you got home that night, did you put the football away?  That clearly demonstrates lack of control.

You disgust me.  Don’t even bother getting a flu shot this year, you couldn’t even catch a cold!   Now, let’s get out there and play some throw

Friday Fives – onion style

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Do you mostly prepare your meals at home or do you eat out more? 

We rarely eat out.  Would rather relax at home, plus we both like cooking.  I really like cooking, she kinda likes it.  BUT… we kinda cheat.  We use Blue Apron, and we LOVE it.  Here is why.  We want to eat at home, and be together, and I want to cook.  However, we both work SO much, that even going to the store just isn’t practical.  My 8 hour job used to keep me away from home for 12 hours.  The commute was brutal (admittedly, our fault for moving 20 miles out of town.  Still worth it, though) We live way out in the sticks.  Blue Apron sends us the groceries and recipes.  Always delicious, and they always look at least as good as the picture.

When you are super busy, even planning healthy and yummy meals is just a time suck.  Blue Apron does that for us.  This is not a paid endorsement, but I heartily endorse them.  Meals cost exactly $10 per person.  That covers shipping and everything.

Is there a time of day when you are more likely to buy food already prepared?

Lunch.  I don’t want to think, and I can’t cook (I am at work).  I just want to eat, so I can get back to work.  Plus, my lunch break is only 30 minutes.

What is your average weekly grocery bill (for how many people)? What is your total restaurant/fast food bill for an average week?

Food bill?  Geesh, I don’t know.  Blue Apron is $10 a meal.  They send us 3 meals every week, designed for 2 people.  The rest of what we spend?  Too much of a variable.  Plus, we are lucky enough that we don’t have to count those pennies.  It’s why we work so damn much.

What is your favorite meal to prepare at home?

Anything on the stove with onions.  Chicken or beef.  You simply can NOT have enough onions.  I not only chop fresh onions for every meal, I always use onion powder as well.  Bonus irrelevant point… I always chop fresh onions… by hand.  I use NO gadchets or shortcuts.  I love chopping food.  I have a food processor, and never touch it.  Wanna know a trick for chopping onions and not crying?  There is none.  Stop being such a pussy.

Ok, amendment.  I have read that a sharp knive is better.  I use good knives, and I sharpen them every single time I use them… before AND after.  Well, I don’t sharpen, I hone.  Buy some decent knives (spend a $100 or a bit more, but not a Thousand) and treat them well.  They will last you forever.  My knives are at least 10 or 15 years old.  Keep them clean, always keep them sharp, and never ever put them in the fucking washing machine.   EVER.  I don’t care what the commercial says you can do.  And why are you buying knives from a commercial?

What is your favorite meal to order in a restaurant?

Filet mignon.  Nothing compares to it, and I don’t trust myself to do it right at home.

Red for Ed – I support the AZ Teacher’s Strike

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The Arizona teachers are set to strike.  It’s a wonderful thing, and long overdue.  Not just being the worst paid teacher’s in the country, but going without raises for YEARS.  I have a buddy who teaches down there, and he just has been telling me 17 years of horror stories.

Let’s hit some fundamentals before I go full on rant.  Why doesn’t Arizona fund education?  Here is a short, and only mildly informed, explanation.  You likely know that AZ is a big state for retirees.   The retirees are often on a fixed income.  They aren’t in school anymore, and neither are their kids anymore.  The idea of funding education when they literally have to count every penny is absurd to them.

And the politicians pander to the order demographic HARD?  Why?   Old people vote, and young people don’t.  Sure, it’s a sweeping generalization, but it’s also incredibly true.  You should know by now, dear reader, sweeping generalizations are my jam!  I still remember the destruction of the education system from when I lived there.  My pal, who shall remain nameless due to the vindictiveness of the right, explained to me the last ‘raise’ the were offered.  It was 4% over the next 5 years. Generally speaking, inflation rises at about 1% a year.  This is why we use terms like “that house cost $75K… but in 1980 dollars”. This means that today, same house would cost $200K.  this is why gas was 75 cents a gallon… 30 years ago.  In corporate America, where I have resided for 20 plus years… the average annual raise is 3%.  This has been at every company I worked at.

Ok, back to the mess, and how badly Arizona is handling it.  When word got back to the lifeless souls who don’t believe in public funded education anymore (ahem… Betsy Devos)… here is how they replied.

“Teachers themselves could face consequences in this right-to-work state, where unions do not collectively bargain with school districts and representation is not mandatory. The Arizona Education Association has warned its 20,000 members about a 1971 Arizona attorney general opinion saying a statewide strike would be illegal under common law and participants could lose their teaching credentials.”

that isn’t exactly what we call a veiled threat.  It’s a threat.  We will not only fire your asses, but we will make sure you never teach (for minimum wage) again.

Here is how I would have handled it.  I really enjoy writing these, and someone should hire me to do it.  Here is what they could have, and should have, said.

Teachers.  We understand this is a hard time, and we understand you deserve more money to do the work you do.  No one questions that, even at the highest levels of government.  Know that you teachers are literally the most important resource out state has.  I think can all admit that we have let you know.  The state legislature has made it difficult for us to do our jobs, and made it even worse for you.  But blew it.  We owe you a lot, and I am personally going to see that you get it.  I know you know all of this, but here is where it gets personal.

We need you.  We need teachers and buildings and books.  We need to do that better, and sooner.  And we will.  Personally, I am going to take NO pay for the next 90 days as a gesture of solidarity.  If you walk out, though… which is 100% your right, we lose our bargaining power with the legislature and voters.  The only way to fix this is from the inside, and with your help and support.  The most powerful message we can send to the capital, and to the voters is to stick this thing out and give us the chance to make it right.

Of course, that is all bullshit, and no one would have the balls to say it.  If I were in charge (and I am available for public service) that would be my press release.  Instead, these assholes said “we fucking dare you cowards to walk out.  And if you do, we will fuck your life up so hard you will NEVER teach again.”   Gee, you mean you are going to forever take away my right to work for 28K a year?

A quick google search says

The median annual Public School Teacher salary in Phoenix, AZ is $54,761, as of March 29, 2018, with a range usually between $47,805$63,221 not including bonus and benefit information and other factors that impact base pay.

Yeah, if that’s true, then Volkswagons really do get 32 MPG and only emit smiles out of their tailpipes.

I can tell you for a fact that isn’t true.  I have teachers on the inside there.   Here is one specific and very real example.  I know someone who had a masters of education, and after 17 years of teaching, he was at 47K.   with a MASTERS.  I literally made more than that on unemployment the last time I was laid off.  I am a call center guy, so I am kinda an expert at getting laid off and outsourced.   Of course, the schools expect you to get a masters.   Sure, I’ll spend another 100K of debt to one day make as much as a shift leader at Burger King.

How does AZ compare to other states?

When all state salaries are adjusted in this way, Arizona ranks 50th in the nation for elementary teacher salaries, and 49th for high school teacher salaries. Oklahoma ranked 50th for high school teachers. 

And that data comes from the Arizona Republic.   Arizona’s primary newspaper, and leading right wing pander mongers

The data quoted by Hart is an accurate reflection of where Arizona teacher pay stands relative to other states. When the median pay for elementary school teachers — not including special education — in each state is adjusted for the cost of living, Arizona ranks 50th nationwide.

Arizona is no different. In 2015, the state spent $3,573 per K-12 pupil and $23,441 per inmate.

Why do I care, and what business is it of mine?  I don’t even have kids.  and I no longer live in AZ.   Well, this bullshit was a VERY big part of why I left Arizona.  Remember, this is the land of Sherriff Joe… who got re-elected every term, despite being indicted and charged by both local and Federal agencies.  He’d be in jail if Trump hadn’t pardoned him.  And is Sheriff Joe sufficient shamed?  No.  He is running for Governor.  Since 3 of the last 4 AZ governors ended up being booted from office for criminal convictions… sheriff Joe’s odds look pretty good.

Because ‘a rising tide’ lifts all boats.  If kids get a better education, they can get better jobs.  This means they can pay more in taxes… the kind of taxes that pay for benefits for older and retired Arizonans.  A better educated kid is less likely to cause crime.

Though we have no kids, my wife and I have NEVER once voted down ANY initiative that asks for school money.  Never have, never will.

As for the great threat of firing all their asses… the subtext of that is this.

“don’t strike, you will may be forced to go teach in another state that pays better.   Every single state pays better.  You can not possibly lose.

Call to action – what can you do to help?  Well, first vote out every single Republican in office.  Then support these wonderful folks.  This is kind of the official org of the movement – ‘Red for Ed’.   Here they are on Facebook, and here they are on Twitter – tag your comments with #RedforEd   Here is the info for the Governor’s office.  Here is his webpage where you can contact him.  You need not even be AZ citizen.

Friday Fives – fill in the blanks

as always, from my wonderful editor.

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I’m mad about  _____people who don’t use turn signals.  Not a ticket.  Should have car taken away.  Also, people who don’t have their lights on in really bad weather.  I am especially looking at you… people in white sedans driving in white out conditions with no lights.  You are invisible.

 

I’m sad about  ______ the state of the presidency.  How newer and worse scandals appear every day and he seems to skate every time.  He said during a rally, “I could walk down 5th avenue in New York City and shoot someone… and it would get me more votes.”  First off, who the fuck talks light that… especially running for president.  Secondly?  He is right.

I’m numb to  ______ most of the news of the criminality of the current presidency.  I realize the really bad news will NEVER trickle down to the people who need to know it… those who voted for him.  They will be told, and believe, that everything is fine and that they are now winning at life

I’m looking forward to _______ the midterms, when he loses controls of congress and the senate.  We can begin to slowly Mitch McConnell everything he does.  Mitch McConnell?  FUCK that guy.  He is a congressman who spent 8 years blocking everything Obama did… out of principle.  He is the one who has worked his life off to block everything about the affordable health care act, but never ONCE offered a solution or improvement.  Just bitched about what was in place.  He is a monster who hates democracy and doesn’t deserve to serve… or even live.  He may be the biggest piece of shit in the history of Congress, with due respect to Strom Thurmond.

Just look at this guy.  This isn’t photoshopped.  When you think of the GOP being the iold guard of rich white people trying to keep everyone down… this is that face.

I always stop to look when ______ there is a public safety situation.  That’s my jam.  I am no courageous first responder.  But I am Emergency County operations team, Red Cross, CERT certified, and a ton of other stuff.  All volunteer stuff, around my regular corporate office job.

Friday Fives – whip out your discs edition

Joyous Spin by Linda S. Gribko | Nature Mandala | Spiritual Art | Meditation Art | Greeting Card  | Green Mandala | Energy of Exuberance and Celebration | Mandala Art | Mandala Card | Mandala Greeting Card

What 5 albums define your choice in music?  Discuss

Blood on the Tracks – Bob Dylan (1975)

Steely Dan – Aja (1977)

Metallica – Kill em All (1983)

Guns & Roses – Appetite for Destruction (1985)

Smashing Pumpkins – Siamese Dream (1993)

Grateful Dead – One from the Vault (1975)

I feel I have discussed these albums near death, already.  Especially the Dylan.  They are all brilliant to perfection.  Sorta like Alice In Wonderland… the answers are everywhere hidden like puzzles.  That was short, though.  Feels like a cop out.   So, here is some more content, stolen (as I oft do) from Live Journal.

 

What is the most important lesson you have learned from your love life?

You want me to talk about my sex life?  Sorry, repressed American male, here.  No dish for you.  I can tell you I have been married for over 20 years.  I am lucky, loved, and in love.  Plus, I saw her boobs once.  It was pretty sweet!  That’s all you get, pervs!

For love, I am an optimist.  I have seen it, I have it, it’s wonderful.  For people, though… I am no so optimistic.  I don’t much believe in integrity out there.  I fear apathy wins the day at every time.  Here is your proof, oft recited by me.  Over 90% of Americans disapprove of the ‘work’ Congress does.  Yet, they are re-elected every two years at a rate of over 92%.   How the fuck can you CARE to bitch about our democracy when you put them same fuckers in there over and over?   If you feel Congress sucks, it is 100% YOUR fault.  Stop re-electing these guys.  Do not assume everyone in Congress is a criminal drop when you are the one who keeps re-hiring them?  Congress isn’t the problem, you are.

 you see a long lost ex walking down the street. Are you more likely to approach him/her or just keep walking?

Having been with the wifey for about 22 years, I don’t have a stack of lovers in my back pocket running the earth.  For the most part, though, I would absolutely greet them and catch up.  Unless I was with my wife, of course.  I am not a damn fool!

Do you believe in the idea of a soul mate?

Not sure.  If there is such a thing, I sure have it.  How about dem apples?

Care to share any relationship stories?

Nothing I can think of off hand.  Tell you what I have learned.  All marriages are about the same.  I have traveled the world and know all my friends well.  The dynamics between men and women in a relationship feel absolutely timeless… regardless of culture or age or time in history.  It assumes me to no end.

 

stop releasing 911 calls, damnit! a three parter

Mind, a UK mental health charity, has noticed a sharp increase in those calling their infoline for help. The amount of people ringing with 'complex and acute' problems had increased more specifically

911 calls should not be released to the public.  Even if this involves a death.  The public does not need to know.  That is for law enforcement, and family.  I think it is a gross invasion of privacy (say it like the Brits… its more fun.  Pri-va-see… accent on first syllable).  Not to mention a violation of their HIPPA rights.

It’s going to get someone killed, if it hasn’t already.  I am thinking of people in the public eye.  Let’s say they are having an overdose.  Let’s say an assistant has to call 911.  It happens… a lot.  The assistant knows that call will be released.  So, maybe they are going to say ‘she collapsed, I think it is exhaustion’ as you look at the starlet with a needle in her arm.  Well, the response to that call will be wildly different than ‘possible overdose’.  I say exhaustion because that is a BIG hit with the celebs.  All the time stars suffer from ‘exhaustion’.   Remember Martin Lawrence running around naked in traffic?  They called that exhaustion.

“the doctor has found Mr. Lawrence to be suffering from a case of complete exhaustion and dehydration,” the statement said.

Luckily, and amusingly, Martin Lawrence addressed this himself.  Years later, he was doing a stand up special and mused “I was a high as fuck.  That’s what it was.”   Don’t worry, Martin… we knew.

What happened to him, though, isn’t our business.  Of course, I too am curious and as amused as anyone.  What happened to him, even though it was public, is between him and his family and some doctors and (very) likely the police.

In closing, this is going to get someone killed.  When that inevitably happens, they will change the laws.  Until then, I told you so.

Pt two

why do we get to find out how someone died?  Again, I am thinking of celebs.  When one dies, everything is released to the public.  When Tom Petty died, I knew exactly what it was.  EXACTLY.  Here is what I wrote to a friend.  The day he died, I wrote this to a friend.  Here, I am giving you everything (ironically, as I write about privacy).

From: Kevin of Parker <iamcorrect@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, Oct 3, 2017 at 8:28 PM
Subject: mark my words

they will run a tox screen on Tom Petty.  Heroin/ or a heroin analog/ will come back in his blood.

sadly, I am an expert in this stuff.

First off, that is my real name and email address.  I don’t even put my last name on my email, and neither should you.  Everyting indented is verbatim what I sent.  The story didn’t come out for a about 6 months… but I was correctHere is the proof, in case you missed the recent headline.  To show you exactly how much I know about the human condition of rock stars and how they die… I wrote this half an hour later.

From: Kevin of Parker <iamcorrect@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, Oct 3, 2017 at 9:01 PM
Subject: Re: mark my words

In fact, here is exactly how it will go… exactly as it has gone too many times

Just got home from a brutal tour.  Tired, in pain, and needing to shake the road and rest for a bit.  Was a heroin addict, but is mostly clean now.  He figured if he just took a little bit… just enough to ‘take the edge off’, he would be fine.  Have a good rest and a 12 hour sleep and get back to real life tomorrow.

Happened to Jimi Hendrix, Bradley Nowell (sublime), Dave Brockie (from Gwar), and Janis Joplin.

“just enough to take the edge off”.  I wouldn’t be surprised if those were the last words he said to his wife.

Why do I tell you that?  Well… I guess just to brag about my sad gift. Also, though, it helps make a point.  Had he lived, we wouldn’t have known about it.  HIPPA and his rights to privacy dictate that this was between him and doctor.   Since he died, though, its public. It shouldn’t be.  Mind your own business!

Pt three

                     jesus, man… call the police FIRST

if I go down, please call the police.  Not TMZ, not a radio station, and definitely not Mary Kate Olson.  When Kurt Cobain was found dead, the first call was to the radio station.  Yeah, the guy who found him called the radio station and chatted with them for a bit.  As a result, his own family heard about it from the radio… not from someone who is trained to have these discussions.

When the maid found Heath Ledger unconscious, she called Mary Kate Olson (or… maybe the other one.  What’s the difference?) like 9 times.  When she finally reached Mary Kate, she asked what should she do?  Mary Kate, to her serious credit, said ‘call an ambulance, NOW!’   At least with Cobain, it was clear he was dead.  Maybe that 3 minutes wasted calling Mary Kate could have saved dude’s life.  Maybe she was afraid to call knowing it was likely an OD.

When any other celeb dies… the first call goes to TMZ.  What is wrong with people?  I don’t even much care if you call TMZ… but call them SECOND.

Btw, has anyone else noticed that TMZ is probably the most reliable news source out there?  Seriously.  When I hear a celeb died, I don’t go to CNN (like I would have 5 or more years ago)… I go to TMZ.  They will have all the scoop.  Again, I don’t think it is right that they broadcast this sensitive info… but they are just doing their job.  Until laws are in place to protect privacy.  Not that anyone would call TMZ about me, but I think you get my point.