Friday Fives – its a bird… it’s a plane… its a lawn dart in my eye!

Lawn darts - Imgflip

What product that you loved stopped getting made?

Lawn darts.  Yeah, they are dangerous…so are knives and guns.  This is social Darwinism, folks.  If a kid it going to throw a 5 pound dart up into the sky… and watch it come down on his skull… maybe he isn’t exactly ‘breeding stock’!

What is the last thing you wrote using pen and paper?

Notes, just an hour ago at a shelter manager meeting for the Red Cross.  I take a LOT of notes on pen and paper.

Who is that asshole dentist who does not recommend Colgate toothpaste?

Lawrence T Shotwalter.  That fucking guy.  The guy who hates teef!  Fuck you, Larry!

What is the best thing you’ve added or changed to make your living space more bearable during all of this lockdown?

Home office.  I had a room that was available as a home office, but it was never used as one.  Now that I am work from home a few days a week, I made it really nice in here.

What did you learn because of Covid-19?

That people will choose politics over science.  It’s terrifying that almost half of America takes the president’s word over scientists.  Even if you are pro-Trump, you have to know he is a compulsive liar.  What interests me is I bet he would pass a lie detector on these things.  Like, when he started lying DAY ONE?  Remember he said his inauguration was the best attended ever?  And it was the worst?  And we have photographic proof?  And then when he got called on it, his little henchman said it was ‘alternative facts’?   Yeah… that stuff.  If you asked him about his inauguration, he would probably pass a polygraph saying it was the best ever.

Friday Fives – ridin’ with the king


JayavarmanVII.jpgWhat is the oldest thing you own?

Besides myself?  My personal vessel is 48 years old.  Next to that?  Probably my childhood teddy bear.  He isn’t on display anywhere, because the dogs would eat him.  But, I am about 90% sure where he.  If I think of it, I’ll snap a pic and embed it.  I was never that close with my teddy bear, and I have no real memories of it.  Just glad I still have it.

What is the oldest home you’ve lived in?

Prolly the house I grew up in, likely built in the 60s.  Wanna see it?  Click here.  No darkness, no ghosts, hardly even a bad memory.  Excellent childhood on every level.  Hence why I am not a great artist.  Prince, Madonna, Hendrix, Tom Petty, John Lennon, Paul McCartney… all lost their ‘mums’ when they were young.. and spent their lives making up for it.  My mom is still alive, and I am the happiest man on earth about it.  She is still in Phx.

What is the oldest book you’ve read?

Drumroll…. Big surprise… Alice’s Adventure’s in Wonderland.  That was 1865.  What about the bible?  I never sat and read the bible for personal interest on my free time, despite growing up Catholic.  Don’t judge me!  You didn’t, either.  Like me, and everyone else… the bible was fed to me, and completely unrelateable on every level.  Put god above my parents?  My parents go work every day to raise us.  Then, they come up to feed us.  What does god do in that equation?  Oh… he makes it possible?   Well, that isn’t exactly picking up diapers, though, is it?

What is the oldest electronic device that you still use?

I can tell you the oldest technology I have, and its all weather based.  The actual things are not more than 20 years old, but the technology goes back to when we pretty much lived on ships.  A barometer, and a Galileo thermometer.  So… as for actual devices?  Well, our washer and drier are still kicking, and they are about 20 years old.  I am pretty pleased about that.  Still running, see, because there is no computer anything.  Its all mechanical.

 What is the oldest work of art/architecture that you’ve seen?

Wifey and I have been lucky to travel the world, and I would guess the oldest thing we have seen is Angkor Watt in Cambodia.  I believe it was 1200s, and done mostly big King Jaramayan.  That is likely a WAY bad spelling, but see I didn’t google that.  Its been a few years, but I remember our tour guide well.  He taught us all this while together there for 2 or 3 days.  Ok, let’s google and see how we did with the name and time period.  MAN… I was super close.  It is King Jayavarman

Friday Fives – don’t eat those chips

mandalaWhat vehicle company should a buyer absolutely stay away from?

General Motors/Chevy.  Perpetual bankruptcies, and they still make terrible cars.  Of course, they were known for that… as were all American car companies.  But then Ford started to make good cars.  This is not subjective.  I am going by Consumer Reports, the non profit advocacy gods.  Ford was the first American manufacturer to receive a coveted ‘best buy’ mark on the Ford Focus.  GM still does not have any cars recommended.

And then there is this.  They built themselves to fail.  How do I mean that? When they build their latest HQ, they designed it so it would be re-sellable in the future as a mall.  While I admire that creativity… what does that say to your stock holders?  I wrote about this about a decade ago.  Enjoy.  They just still make cars that aren’t designed or expected to go 200K.  Or, even 100K.

Which company should a buyer look in to?

I would never invest in a car company.  If I did, though, it would probably be Ford.  They have the truck market locked down the last 50 years, and trucks are the most profitable.  Would I buy a Ford truck, though?  No.  I had two.  Constant electrical problems.

If “I’m Batman” is the wrong answer, what’s the question?

Hey there, Mr Batman.  I am Paul, with your PR firm.  Listen, we have been workshopping some new intro ideas for you.  We think ‘I’m Batman’ is a bit played out in the culture.  If you’ll open to page 2, we can start with some ideas my team worked on.  We are just woodshedding here, no pressure.  Go ahead and start with the first suggestion at the top.

What was your favorite show to watch as a kid/ young teen?

Greatest American Hero, and the A Team.  I have watched them both plenty since, and they do not hold up well.  Not just the shitty special effects… that can be forgiven.  It’s the acting of the 80s.  Everyone over acts, every time, in every 80s movie.  It’s as if not a millisecond can happen without unnecessary dialogue jammed in.

All of the toilet paper in the world is replaced with the last thing you took a photograph of.  What is wiping your ass going to be like from now on?

Last night’s forest fire sunset.  Not sure what the implications of that.  If this were poetry, though… it would be transcendent and an opportunity to humble oneself to Gaia.   So, we better call this poetry, or I just end up with a stinky brown hand… again.  Here is the pic I am referring to.  Needless to say, the pic doesn’t do it justice.  Note, there are no filters or manipulation is this photo.

Also note the Rockies look purple.  “for purple mountains majesty above the fruited plane…”.  That song was written in Colorado… about the mountains.  I believe it was crazy little Zebulon Pike who penned that (and who that mountain is now named after… Pike’s Peak).  Correction, Pike did not write that.  But it was written on Pike’s Peak.

sunset home Oct 2020