Friday Fives – what’s the real value?

What do you feel like you’re missing out on?

Friendships.  I miss my friends.  I miss all my Extel® crew***.  This is a function of two things… I am working a lot, and work odd hours.  The other thing, we moved out to the country.   Where once everything was 20 minutes away, it is now an hour away.  I love my life, and I love living out in ‘the sticks’, but it has taken a toll on friendships.  These days, we just hang out with our neighbors.  That being said, I fucking love our neighbors.  The people who live around us are such a cool community and we have all gotten really close.

What are some interesting life hacks for saving money?

When you have amazon prime, and free 2 day shipping, and a credit card already stored in the system… stay AWAY from amazon.com – nothing good comes from that level of convenience.  Almost anything you want, push a button, it will be here tomorrow.  No Bueno.

Here is another one – Spotify.  I used to buy CDs.  Sometimes, I might only listen to it once.  I don’t need to do that anymore.  With spotify, every album is right there.  I know I am late to the party, I just got it very recently… but I wish I bought it 10 years ago.  Wait, how long has it been around?  I used to be bullish on Pandora, and it is still nice for variety, but it can’t give you the music you want.  Seriously.  I have a Pearl Jam station… it plays everyone BUT Pearl Jam.  Apparently, due to licensing stuff, they can only play one song an hour from any one band.  Instead, they give you bands like Pearl Jam.  “you love Pearl Jam, so you will love Soundgarden.  Here is a TON of fucking Soundgarden, you fat fuck!”   the thing is… they are right, I do love Soundgarden.  Guess what, though, I don’t want to hear Soundgarden… I have a fucking Soundgarden station (that only plays Pearl Jam, mind you.)  I don’t want to hear bands LIKE Pearl Jam.  I want to hear Pearl Jam!

Phew… wow, that got a little ugly.  Guess I have been sitting on those feelings for about 5 years now.

What’s the worst purchase you ever made?

Nothing comes to mind.  I had a couple big Ford diesel trucks that were pretty much constant electrical problems.  It’s a shame, they were cool and fun trucks… but constant problems.  In fact… that reminds me of a great story that needs to be a commercial.  After 2 troublesome Fords, I bought a Toyota truck and everything was fine.  Back when I had the Fords (had 2 back to back) I was at the auto parts store every single weekend.  I knew the guys by name, and they knew me.  Once I got the Toyota, I never needed anything.  Seriously… everything just worked.  So, I went in one weekend after being gone for like a year.  They said “Mr Lang, where have you been?”  I said “Sorry guys, I got a Toyota.”  They looked at each other and shrugged.   THAT should be a Toyota commercial.

***That was my real name up there.  Someone please edit that out.

You are the editor, idiot.  Just go delete it – ed

What’s the best purchase you ever made?

Our little 5 acre piece of paradise.  We got horses and dogs and cats and fish and a view of the whole Rocky Mountain Range and a hot tub on the back porch to watch it all.   And… the coolest neighbors in the world!  Don’t worry, I am not buttering them up.  Lets be honest, none of them read this.  I think they even get their weather from Rush Limbaugh.  I still love them, though.  In case you think it is a stereotype that people who live on dirt roads are all gun nuts… it is 100% true.  I don’t know a single neighbor who has less than 10 guns.  Except Sally.  Go see Sally, she is a pottery genius, and my wonderful friend.  Here is her site, I built it for her.

What products/services are extremely overpriced but we pay for anyway?

Not me, but everyone else… tv.  The average cable bill is $120 a month after fees.  That is insane.  Here is what we have.  A $30 HD antenna from Costco.  Gets me all the local channels and then some for free.  In HD.  It’s amazing… no thicker than a piece of paper.  And we have Netflix, at about $10 a month.  That means my tv bill in one year is what cable/satellite people pay per month.  Also, in the bedrooms where the antenna doesn’t work (has to be line of site, and we live on top of a hill luckily) I bought Roku boxes.  That is a one time cost of about $50 each that gets every room Netflix and Hulu and Amazon.  Oh, we have amazon, too.  It’s Amazon prime, for the free shipping… but has a good collection of free tv and movies.  We also have Hulu, but that doesn’t count.  We are using Ashley’s account.  I gave her my Netflix password and she gave us her Hulu.

 

Note to editor – please take Ashley’s name out, or at least change it.

Why?  She doesn’t read this.  Well… maybe she does.  I guess we are about to find out.  😊

 

*** Extel – see what I did there?  We all worked for Nextel, but they are out of business.  We are ex-Nextel employees.  We are ‘Extel® ‘.  I need to patent that shit!

Pandora, Nickelback, and not exactly telling my wife everything

America ,

I am for equality and love and choice.  I am a Democrat, these are my core principles.  I wish I could tell you that I also don’t believe in judging…  except clearly that is not the case.

Anyhow, I wanted to share a moral fable with you.  It’s a story of love, trust, marriage, and subversion.

It starts with Pandora.  I LOVE Pandora.  I use it daily.  I think they are a great company and I want them to succeed.  I know there are now about 11 similar services.  My Pandora is all set and customized, so I don’t to hear about slacker and sticther and beats etc etc etc.  I even pay  for Pandora.  It’s like $40 a year.  SO worth it… and I want them to be profitable.  I want the artists to get paid.

So, because I pay, I have basically unlimited channels.  I use about 15, and I gave the wifey the passwords so she could make her own stations.  That is how loving and compassionate I am.  She can listen to whatever she wants.  What do I care?  I certainly don’t expect her to listen to Dylan all day.  Hell, I don’t expect ANYONE to listen to that much Dylan except myself.

First problem is this, she doesn’t ‘feed and water’ her stations.  This is a biggie, and a big problem.  You don’t just put Pandora on and listen.  No.  NEVER.  If I find you also doing this, I will have your radio taken away.  Pandora demands easy maintenance.  For the first year, it is simple.  EVERY SONG you hear you need to thump up or down.  Trust me, this pays mad dividends down the road.  Think of it, in every possible sense, as the break in period for your car.  That first 1,000 miles you have to take very specific care.  This is how you get 300K miles out of a car.  Or, if you have a GM, up to 300 miles.

It’s why you had to go to school.  It sucked at the time, right?   But, it literally pays 60 years of dividends.  This is why you MUST feed and water your Pandora.

This comes to my problem, and my dirty secret.  I don’t manage my wifey’s stations.  It isn’t my business.  Just like her email, or that Maroon 5 channel she has.

She recently showed me a dope ass station she built.  It was a journey station. So, there is Boston in there, ac/dc, Led Zepp… it is just a great station.  I guess this shows my age a bit.  I liked it so much I have been listening at work.

That is when I crossed the line, and I need your advice.  I made a move, on her station, which is not my business.  Unless she is reading this, she still doesn’t know.

It is like if she finds ciggies on me, she throws them out, for my own good.  That is kinda how I see this.  On her Journey station, Nickelback came up.  For the good of EVERYONE, I had to thumb it down.  I am not proud of this, but I did what needed to be done for own good.  Remember when your parents would say things like “I don’t give a shit if this is your bedroom.  As long as you live under my room you live by my rules!”  It’s a much more loving version of that, right?

So, was I wrong?  Just kidding, of course not you asshole.  Let’s be cool and maybe not mention to her.

 

Friday Fives – work edition

1.  How is your day so far? 

good, thanks for asking.  Busy, but no more so than any other work day.  I took lunch and went to play guitars at Guitar Center.  That always cheers me up and kills time.  It’s Friday as you read this, but its not my Friday.  I work Saturdays.

2.  Let’s talk about cursing.  Do you curse? What’s your favorite curse word/phrase? 

Yes I do.  I am not proud of it, and always working to improve that aspect.  My favorite curse words are two I invented.  The first one is ‘goddamnitsomuch’.  It is just satisfying.  Now I have Sam and Renee using it too, which tickles me to no end.  The other one is ‘dunk’.  I invented it for practical reasons, and I will not tell you what it means.  It is something I can scream in traffic or polite company and no one knows my horrible vile thoughts.

3.  Job speak. Recently, we asked how to describe your job to a 5 year old. Now, what is your job and how can others make it easier? 

I help people who have problems with their telephones.  If my job was easier, they wouldn’t need me.  So, I do not seek for that to happen.  But, again, thank you for asking.  Very considerate of you.

I have a desk job.  I call myself a ‘cubicle monkey’.  I know so many people who say “I could never ever be chained to a desk all day.  That is too depressing!”.  I fully see why people would think that, but I don’t mind at all.  It is always warm and safe and dry.  I have a really nice comfy chair, and access to all the coffee I can drink.  I listen to my pandora and help people out.  That is not a bad way to pass the days.  I sure hope not, since I have been here for 16 years.  The company is very good to me.

4.  What is the most f@#-up thing to happen at your office/job? 

probably not much different from what everyone deals with at work.  They say “it’s only work if you’d rather be somewhere else”.  While I would generally rather be at home watching action movies, I am not unhappy at work.  I enjoy going to work.  I don’t enjoy getting out of bed, but I love my drive it.  It’s 35 minutes I use to listen to books on tape about history.  plus, I live out in the country, so my drive to work is rolling hills, no traffic, and watching out for deer.

When people find out where I live (which is out by Elizabeth), they wonder how I can handle such a drive.  Then I probe them and find out their drive is the same.  It’s 30 minutes.  BUT… their time is spent in traffic on i-25 looking at tail lights.  I easily manager an average speed of 45 mph the whole way.

5.  What is the dumbest customer complaint you have heard?

a customer today posted he lost his million dollar company because of bad phone service.  he said we were irresponsible, and cost all those people their jobs.  I was befuddled.  if you have a million dollar business… or even a $75 business… wouldn’t you have a couple $25 a month land lines?