But we didn’t know it was bad for you!

my mom used to smoke.  I have been known to smoke.  YOU should not smoke!  Why?  Well, first off, it makes you look cool.  On top of that, it also makes you look tough, while impressing the babes.  Lastly, it shows you have no need to conventional societal approval, and you play by your own rules.

My mom caught me smoking once.  Well, like every teenager and EVERY cliche, she found ciggies in a pocket when doing the laundry.  She confronted me, and I pulled the classic cliche ‘holding them for a friend’.  She seemed to buy it.  Until… about a month later.  She was drinking, and (like all of us good people) wanted a ciggie.  She came and asked me for a ciggie.  I feigned ignorance.  She said something to drunken effect of ‘listen, you little shit.  You aren’t in trouble, just give me a cigarette.”  Can’t argue that.

After I gave her a ciggie, she then fed me the classic parental cliche – “when I was your age, we didn’t know smoking was bad for us.”

25 years or so later, I call bullshit!  Ok, maybe they didn’t know they caused cancer directly.  Sure, there were people on TV saying things like ‘8 out of 10 doctors smoke Chesterfields’.  Guess what?  EVERY one of those assholes in in hell now… and I don’t even believe in hell.

Here is why.  You have 1, and only 1, nourishment hole.  It takes in food and water and air.  I simply can’t believe that any reasonable person thought that lighting shit on fire and then sticking same fire down your one and only air hole… was fine.  Come on now, people.

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