On Jeopardy, we would call these questions “Pot Pourrie” *****
If you could ask Donald Trump one single question and get an absolutely straightforward honest answer, what would it be?
Every single word you speak is an outright lie, or a great exaggeration. Is this conscious? Do you believe this stuff at all? What is your fucking deal, man? (with all regards to the Lebowski)
Mr President, does this taste like LSD to you?
What’s a common saying that annoys you?
“it is what it is”. Even I am guilty of using it on occasion. But I knew someone who used it constantly, which I hated. Its total resignation on every level. And you can bet Lebowski’s rug that anyone who says ‘it is what it is’ more than once a week doesn’t vote.
What sequel was better than the original?
Me! Get it? ‘cause I am the youngest? No? Ok. How about this, and maybe its not even a sequel… the Johnny Depp version of Alice in Wonderland. This has NOTHING to do with him or his character and he was WAY WAY WAY over featured. The movie itself was a super cool idea I have never seen. The premise was what happens if/when Alice goes BACK there years later. Remember in the original story, she is a child of single digits. Now she is like 30 and goes back. Is everyone still there? Have they changed? Has anything changed? Will they remember her? Because this is my favorite book in the world, I dig the idea of playing with timelines.
Who was the last person you hugged? How long ago was that?
Besides my wife and dogs and horses? Yes, I hug them all. It would likely have been Sally O’Malley. Note, her name isn’t Sally O’Malley, I just call her that because it rings. Sally is my neighbor, and one of my favorite people in the world. She is also an amazing potter. Go ahead and check out her website. Look kinda familiar, the website? Yeah, I built it for her. I would do anything for her.
Who is the least problematic and universally beloved celebrity, in your opinion?
Neil Young. Because he really doesn’t give a fuck. Now, if you only wanted to talk universally beloved celeb we have Tom Hanks. Who does not love Tom Hanks? Sara Lee, that’s who! That bitch is only looking out for herself. But is he really the least problematic? No sir. Quite the opposite. He is so squeaky clean that even a parking ticket would blow our minds. In that sense, this question should be split in two. The least problematic… meaning the person you don’t EVER have to worry about… is Neil Young. Remember all that ‘honey badger doesn’t give a fuck’ fun? That is Neil. I have pointed this out before, but it bears repeating. There are MANY actors or artists who say they don’t care, and only follow their muse/music. And people will ascribe that attribute to many celebs or artists. I am sure people say that about Axl… that he just doesn’t give a fuck. All untrue. In my very educated perspective, there are only two musical artists who truly truly truly did only what they thought was right or fun. Prince, and Neil Young. Basically, we need Tom Hanks and Neil Young in a cage match -re-match. The original one? That footage never aired due to a lot of blood, and even more lawsuits. Neil Young once quit CSNY. On a flight, to a nationally televised gig. Just ‘wasn’t feeling it’. Supreme dick move? You betcha! and he has a lifetime of those. When he does it, though, its not a power play. Neil once didn’t like his recording contract, so he delivered the most unlistenable dreck he could conceive of to David Geffen… who (somewhat rightfully) sued his ass. Similarly, do you know why Prince changed his name to that symbol? Not to be an arty self absorbed cross-gender freak show (though I am sure that aspect was a bonus to him)… it was a business move. His record company wouldn’t release his music. So he said he would go elsewhere. They (Warner Brothers) said “You can’t, we own your name!” Legally, it turns out they were right. Thing is, Prince’s real name is ‘Prince’. It is also why during this time he wrote ‘Slave’ on his cheek for every pubic public appearance.
sorry, I really dodged that question and went off on a totally unnecessary rant. The answer is clearly Tom Hanks… with a loving close second to Brian Cranston.
**** don’t you want to see Darrel Hammond as Sean Connery read that to Will Ferrell’s Alex Trebek – I’ll take poop pie for $500