Friday Fives

1. Do you have the 411

I used to think I did.

2. What’s your twenty?

home on the couch watching Louie CK’s brilliant show.  btw, that is CB speak above.  I know that.  Growing up, my Dad had a CB in our van.  So, when we went on road trips and camping, we would listen to the truckers talk.  Plus, you find out where the cops are.  Also, his friends had CBs, so they could communicate while we traveled.  You take that for granted now with cell phones, but communicating with a caravan was a lot tougher before phones.

3. What’s the most outrageous thing you’ve ever made anyone believe?

That I was on the Harvard skulling (rowing) team.  This is a great, and true story.  I was at my cousin Bobo’s wedding, and we were all liquored up having a great time.  Some guy came up and we made small talk.  He asked where I went to school (because back East, this is how people shake hands.  It’s a big deal).  Knowing he would not be impressed by ‘Northern Arizona University’, I said I was the rowing captain for Harvard.  Problem was this:  he was a professional rower, too.  I shit you not!  Being me, I didn’t have the sense to cop to the fact I was lying.  So, I made small talk with him as two professional rowers.  What I did was use his words, that were obviously specific lexicon, and repeat them back in a general way.  Like, he would say “we were kerplopping 4 hours at day in the morning.”  Not even knowing what ‘kerplopping’ was, I would say back “we kerplopped 2 hours in the morning, then I would have my guys carb load for easy energy”.   We kept drinking together, a lot.  So, to be honest, I don’t remember the end of that conversation.  He is probably somewhere telling a similar story on his blog about this drunk jackass he talked to who thought he was Art Vandalay

4. If you have an itch do you scratch it?

you are goddamn right I do.  You calling me a pussy?

5. As an adult, have you ever played truth or dare?

absolutely not.  I have no interest in that.  I am totally cool with the truth idea, but the dare scares me.

Podcasting – the last frontier

I have a new addiction, Podcasts.  I feel this is the last untouched forum of both expression and entertainment.  I also know someone will ruin this.  So, I want to document and capture it’s awesomeness before we lose it.  The reason why I love podasts, and listen to at least one a day, is they are ungoverned and unregulated… for now.

At least with what I listen to, they are the province of comedians.  Adam Carolla just received the ‘guniness book of world records’ for most downloads.  I love his podcast, and have been listening for almost 2 years.  He is a huge pioneer in the field.  He is also incredibly funny and insightful.  Most importantly… he is entertaining.  Each podcast, no matter who it is from, is usually about an hour.  There is no MPAA, no ratings board, no Christian Right… nothing.   yet.

He sits with other comedians and they just riff.  chat.  Whatever you want  to call it.  These shows are rarely if ever edited.  Because the interviews are long form, unedited, and uncensored… you really get a feel for the guest.  I listen to about ten podcasts regularly.  half are comedians, and the other half are NPR.  They are:

WTF with Marc Maron

The Adam Carolla Show

Fitzdog Radio – Greg Fitzsimmons

Proopcast – Greg Proops

This Week with Larry Miller – Larry Miller

Ace on the House w/ Adam Carolla (home improvement podcast)

and these are all NPR podcasts.

Car Talk

This American Life

Fresh Air

Stuff you Should Know

Stuff you Missed in History Class

RadioLab

the other thing about Podcasts is they are generally free, and generally updated once a week.  You can listen online, but it’s way easier to do it through your iPod.  They update automatically.  Adam’s podcast also catapulted him to being a New York Times bestseller with ‘In 50 years, we’ll all be chicks’.  Anyhow, it is true freedom of expression by funny and interesting people.  This simply can’t last.  You can say on a podcast “I want to kill puppy dogs and then screw them in the eyehole”.  No one is going to stop you, especially if they understand you are joking… or using hyperbole.  Adam used to be able to say whatever he wanted, because only Adam fans were listening.  Well, once he started getting press for being the most successful podcast in history, I guess other listeners came in.

Adam took a modicum of shit for some riffing he was doing on transgendered people.  Specifically, he said ‘since when did we start giving a shit about these people?’  This didn’t offend me.  I didn’t even notice it when I heard it until the press caught it.  Adam Carolla has always been pro gay, and pro gay rights.  So, I don’t much care if he makes some tasteless jokes.   He is a comedian and it is his job to say thought provoking things.  I don’t see the scandal here, but others do.  That is fine, but here is what scares me.   Adam Carolla had to apologize.

I’m sorry my comments were hurtful. I’m a comedian, not a politician

I don’t care that he had to apologize.  His comments were dumb and mean spirited.  But, I do worry that he will have to censor himself going forward… or that interest groups will make iTunes rate their podcasts and rate their content.  This is coming.  He will  be told what is and what is not appropriate to discuss.  This, then, will neuter the podcast.  Anotyher dumb bomb dropped when Andy Dick was on Greg Fitzsimmons podcast last week.  Andy is on pretty often, and Greg’s podcast (like a suprising amount of others) is broadcast from his garage.  LoFi, low budget, two comedians riffing.  Then, for some reason Andy Dick went off on Howard Stern calling him a dirty jew bastard.  Obviously, a petulant and unwise comment to make.  However, if I am listening to a conversation between Fitzsimmons and Andy Dick… I am bound to here things like that.  I mean, Andy Dick is insane.  You know this.  He has no peerage in the self destruction pantheon… except maybe Courtney Love.

So, I expect to hear these things.  I like that volatility in conversation.  It makes it real.  Want to see real famous people talking in the olden days?  Watch this.  It is brilliant.  They are all getting tanked on live TV, and smoking… even Carson.  Watch what Dean Martin does at the two minute mark.  That is funny shit, and that would NEVER be on tv today.  Maybe it shouldn’t be.  If it were, though, I would watch it.  For now, the podcast is it… until whitey *gets a hold of it.

* Parents Television Council were resonsible for 98% of the content complaints the FCC recieves.  this is the guy, a single guy, who would rather your kids see dead bodies on all those cop shows instead of a boobie.  Who pissed in his cornflakes?

Friday Fives

1. Would you rather own a blimp or a submarine?

oh, a blimp. not sure why. Actually, I still just wanna be invisible, really? I mean, what am I gonna do in a submarine? Sure, the earth is 75% water… but who cares? You like fish sticks, Kanye?

2. If you were a super hero (and maybe you already are) would you go with or without a cape?

cape. Very cool. Since I am bald, the cape would be like surrogate long flowing hair.

3. Aliens versus Time Travelers. Which would win in a Battle Royale?
logic would dictate time travelers. They could go back in time and jack up the aliens. Steal their technology, shame their leaders, and kill Sarah Connor?

4. If were a Time Traveler, what Time would you set the dial to?

1967 San Francisco

5. As a child, what was the favorite outdoors pursuit? Hide and Seek? Kick the Can? Kick Ball?

hide and seek was popular, but my favorite stuff was anything that involved bikes. Jumps, wheelies, and every variation of the two. I once saw a kidnapping happen while I was at the vacant lot where we built the fire ramp. For reasons that should be obvious, we were not allowed to do the fire jump… so none of us ever told our parents about what we saw because we didn’t want to get busted for being at the lot.